💣 001 | audio

[devoutish]

[There's the sound of fumbling and a little bit of unintelligible muttering before any real words are spoken - the communicator isn't hard to figure out, but it still takes some practice to get the hang of.]

-- this button here, and then-- oh, there we go. Have I got it? Hello.

[Alfie's voice is deep and rumbly, and very Cockney. He switches on the video next. It's zoomed in too close on him to give any real clues to his surroundings - there's just the back of a couch and a blank wall visible behind him - but his clothes are clearly old-fashioned.]

Fucking fantastic, these things. Looking at your little images on the screen, it's like you're really there. Yeah, wonderful picture quality. I'm very impressed. But I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, should I - bigger and bolder seems like something of a trend here. I discovered one of your supermarkets earlier this morning. Fucking hell, the size of that place. Entire aisles set aside for nothing but ketchup; for ice cream. Hats off to the future, eh?

[And since he's actually wearing a top hat, he goes ahead and tips it.

But despite his conversational tone, his eyes are deadly serious. He narrows them a little, as he peers closer at the screen. He seems calm and affable, sure - but if you look behind that front, it's clear that he is very much not happy with how his day is going.]

Right. How many people am I speaking to, right now? Is it just those who've been brought here like me, or do I also have the pleasure of the army's company?

[Because he would like to have words.]

Comments

[acclimatized]

Nah, I found it myself. I don't think a lot of people stick with what the government wants them to do.

[devoutish]

I'll see about that for myself, if I'm here longer than a week.

[acclimatized]

What do they want you to do?

[devoutish]

I'm to host a radio program about cooking. I've never been on the radio before; I may go once or twice for a laugh.

[acclimatized]

That's... yeah, that's pretty interesting. I might tune in myself.

[devoutish]

Yeah. But after that, if I'm still here, I'm gonna quit. Find something else.

You sell liquor in shops here; I noticed that. Is it legal again?

[acclimatized]

What did you do after the war? Back home, I mean. Maybe we can find something similar.

Yeah, it's legal. Unless you're under twenty-one.

[devoutish]

[Haha well]

Mm. There's a law against it in the America of my time. They'd be happy to know that doesn't last, I suppose.

I was a businessman.

[acclimatized]

I'm not too good on history, but I imagine they overturned that pretty sharpish.

[ a businessman could mean anything, but john isn't going to pry. ]

I have a friend here who built up her business. You shouldn't have much trouble.

[devoutish]

That's assuming, right, that I'm interested in settling in and starting over. Yeah? I'm not.

[acclimatized]

[ there's a pause from john. ]

Right. Yeah sorry, I've been here for a long time. Touch wood it doesn't come to that.

[devoutish]

I can be patient if I need to be.

[He really hopes he won't need to be.]

But I'm not gonna make this place home. How long have you been here?

[acclimatized]

Two years this October.

[ plus sometime in the previous universe, but he's not going to confuse alfie with that. ]

Not that I'm keeping count. It's just... yeah, a long time.

[devoutish]

Yeah, it is.

If I'm missing at home for years, things aren't gonna go well.

[acclimatized]

If it puts your mind at ease, time doesn't move back home. I'm not sure how it works exactly, but it's like you've never been here.

[devoutish]

You know that for sure, do you? Or is it just what they tell you?

[acclimatized]

Sort of. I went home once, briefly. Nothing had changed and I didn't remember a thing about this place. Some people have gone through this too.

[devoutish]

You got ported out, yeah? A porter glitch.

[He's picking up the lingo.]

[acclimatized]

That's right. I came back with a new power last time. That happens sometimes, too.

[devoutish]

And what can you do now? Have you got anything impressive?

[acclimatized]

Not really.

[ one is helpful in a pinch and the other is useless. clearing his throat, he deflects. ]

What can you do?

[devoutish]

Not gonna answer before asking?

[acclimatized]

They really aren't that interesting.

[devoutish]

Are they secret?

[acclimatized]

Why do you want to know so badly?