1 🐍 ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ ( action for housemates )

[snoobs]

[ When the feed comes to life, Hemali is seated on a couch, her legs drawn up and shoulders and neck hunched over. On the coffee table is a small bottle of nail polish, which she goes about applying with precision over her toe nails.

She doesn't glance at the camera right away, letting the silence linger until she's finished painting the nail the way she wants. Then she finally looks up and smiles, but it isn't one offered up in apology for making anyone wait, not that she believes she has anything to apologize for. ]

Isn't this all interesting? I've never seen a device like this or heard of one that could shuffle people from across the universe.

[ Her eyes light up at the thought, masking any concerns she has about the fact there's something with far greater power than she might ever have. ]

Nor have I heard about machines that could grant people power. What I find most strange having looked over this network, is that so many people would give up these powers if it meant leaving this place? I had always thought people preferred being special and having that kind of security. Does your power not provide that?

[ A contemplative pause. ]

Maybe I am a little excited to travel for once, personally.

[ Not completely, but who needs to know behind a calm affect is a woman who feels threatened by the Porter? She goes back to painting her nails, interested in hearing what these other imPorts have to say in response. ]

Comments

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[wizzardly]

The shine of traveling wears off rather quickly, believe me. Especially when it's inter-dimensional, or inter-universal, or what have you.

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[snoobs]

[ Hemali looks astonished by his reply, arching a brow. ]

Now I don't believe that. There is always so much to see, to do, people to meet?

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[wizzardly]

[Rincewind ticks off on his fingers.]

And to fall off, run from, and be attacked by. Don't forget those.

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[snoobs]

People do not like you, do they?

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[wizzardly]

[he doesn't seem bothered by the bluntness of the question.]

I've an unfortunate habit of stumbling into the middle of things I'm not wanted in. [a beat.] Or things which I am wanted in, but not for anything nice.

Of course, maybe you've better luck than I do.

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[snoobs]

What sort of things?

[ He doesn't seem all that intriguing so far, but they've only just met. Maybe he's someone who can be roped into things wherever needed. ]

Probably.

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[wizzardly]

[well far be it from Rincewind to miss a chance to complain.]

Take your pick, really. So far it's been everything from having a spell lodged in my head, to removing a magical brand from someone, to being mistaken for a demon, for actually being a wizard, or to just being in the wrong place at the right time for someone else.

Fate's got a nasty chip on his shoulder where I'm concerned.

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[snoobs]

[ She starts to tune him out and in a very obvious manner, but something he says catches her attention once again. ]

What did you say?

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[wizzardly]

...Fate is a bastard?

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[snoobs]

No, no...

[ She perks up. ]

You said you were a wizard?

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[wizzardly]

Oh. [his shoulders unbunch, and he folds his arms with a little smirk.] Yes, I am. Full alumni of Unseen University, pointed hat and all.

Have you got magic and wizards where you're from?

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[snoobs]

[ She's looking at Rincewind with newfound interest now, like she's noticing him properly for the first time. ]

There's a school for it?

No, I don't think so. I'v never heard of wizards.

[wizzardly]

[interest pointed in his direction generally tends to make Rincewind nervous, but it's counteracted here by the opportunity to impress someone with wizardry. Failure though he is, even Rincewind isn't immune to a wizard's need to look Important.]

Of course there is. Can't have a bunch of untrained wizards accidentally burning towns down or turning the family cat into a tea kettle. There's got to be discipline. Magic is a bloody dangerous business on the whole, after all.

[snoobs]

So you have magic.

[ How intriguing! She's never met anyone capable of it... whatever it is he can do. Time to find out. ]

Show me.

1/2

[wizzardly]

Oh, ah.... [his smile twitches.] Well, it's - not something you really do on demand. Who knows what could happen?

[it could be nothing, or it could be a whole lot of nothing.

But Rincewind catches something out of the corner of his eye that inspires him, and he quickly clarifies:] Of course, I suppose it would be all right to show you my magical suitcase instead. Hold on just a moment -

[enjoy the momentary, nauseating spin of a moving camera, snake lady.]

[wizzardly]

[which refocuses on a large, wood and gold chest. It has hundreds of pink little legs.

And it is currently terrorizing a raccoon. At least until Rincewind hisses at it. It turns lazily in the direction of the camera.]

There? You see?

[snoobs]

[ What a creepy, but intriguing thing that is! She's never in her lifetime seen anything like it, though rather than be horrified by its hundreds of legs she watches the Luggage with deep interest. ]

What does it do? Pet?

[wizzardly]

Oh, gods, no. [Rincewind seems to lose some of the color in his face at the suggestion.] Think more - protective nuisance with homicidal tendencies. And the ability to carry things and do laundry.

[it's as apt a description as any.]

[snoobs]

Sounds dangerous.

[ But she isn't too bothered by that. ]

How did you tame it?

[wizzardly]

Yes, "dangerous" is the perfect word for it. And yet you'd be amazed how many people ignore that.

[oh, but what a question.]

I... didn't tame it, though. Not really. It was given to me. But I am technically its master, so it at least tries to obey me, most of the time. And it is inclined to eat things and people which try to kill me. ...Of course, as I said, it's also just inclined to eat things and people in general.

[he shrugs and sighs. The Luggage slurps up one of the dog bowls with a giant tongue.]

But I suppose it has its uses.

[snoobs]

[ He doesn't look like a master of anything, honestly.

But she didn't expect him to be a wizard either. ]

The soldiers let you keep it?

[wizzardly]

I'd like to see them try to take it.

...Preferably through a telescope, at a great distance away.

[snoobs]

Do you have anything else like it?

[wizzardly]

Erm, no. It's what you might call "one of a kind".

[snoobs]

It's nothing like I've ever seen before. Most people own dogs, cats or birds.