7th Mission // Video

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Jacob films this post while standing in front of the white walls of Helix Station in Maurtia Falls, wearing a navy-blue tank top and black shorts. Judging by the sweat visible on his arms, he just finished his exercise for the morning. His ramrod-straight posture projects an image of Official Business that doesn't match his casual tone of voice, or his workout clothes.]

Hey, everyone. I'm Jacob Taylor. I work with RISE: that's an imPort police team, for all you new arrivals out there. I'm putting together something new for the community... kind of a public safety resource. Like the FAQ, but focused on who's causing trouble these days.

So I thought I'd ask: what do you think are the biggest threats around here? Criminals, terrorists, the Soviets? Maybe there's something most of us haven't heard about yet that more people need to know about. It's important to be aware, especially when people might want you dead. There's always something happening under the surface around here.

Oh, and just so we're clear: this is going to be a list focusing on groups, not individual people. So don't bother talking about who your least favourite imPorts are.

[He pauses for a moment, then relaxes his posture as he segues into more civilian matters.]

That's about it for official business. Unofficially... I was wondering if anybody has got suggestions on a good name for a dog.

[He's totally planning to get a dog. Heads up, MF 001 housemates!]

Comments

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[brushoff]

Name it Dorian.

[ or you know, he won't. this is 100% Dorian being confrontational for the sake of being confrontational. ]

video.

[glowsferatu]

[ Well, she was going to make some petty comment about Sabriel, but if he's ruling out individuals, no reason to bother. ]

Naming a dog is generally an expression of either the owner's personality, or the dog itself. It's not easy to provide a suggestion for a dog I've never met.

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[crapbearer]

Don't suppose we could arrest the Porter for porting out people I really liked having around?

( audio )

[drizzle]

Hmm. That depends. What kind of dog do you have? It'd be good to know its gender before we start pitching names, you know. Just like it is important to know how they look like too.

[Can you tell she is very serious business about naming dogs, Jacob?]

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[thepalinpaladin]

Name that dog Champion to give 'em a good self esteem. Never too early to build confidence.

Or go in the opposite direction and name them Saint Froofles.

[VIDEO]

[calibrating]

What about, uh...

[He's totally not looking for at a list of dog names.]

[Totally.]

...Fluffy?

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[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Jacob rolls his eyes at first- but then smiles as a thought strikes him.]

'Sit, Dorian.' 'Roll over, Dorian.' 'Be quiet, Dorian.' You know, you might actually be on to something there.

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[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Jacob crosses his arms, thinking about that.]

Well, you know what my personality is like. And I know what kind of dog I want to have. Can you work with that?

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[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[That gets a half-chuckle out of Jacob before his face turns sympathetic.]

If only. I'm sure that would make a lot of people happy.

Is everything okay, Max?

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[crapbearer]

[ There's a brief hesitation before Max answers. ]

Of course I am! Livin' on my own again. No rules, not answerin' to anybody. What more could a teenager want, right?

( audio )

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[He can tell, and he's grateful to have her level of expertise in his corner.]

Sorry. I don't have one yet. I'm just thinking right now. But if I get one, I want it to be a yellow labrador. They're the best as far as I'm concerned.

[Diehard Old Yeller fan, over here.]

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[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Jacob blinks.]

Uh. I think I like 'Champion' better. Definitely Champion. Confidence is important.

[VIDEO]

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Jacob is too nice a guy to judge, but the look he gives Garrus implies he kind of wants to judge.]

You haven't had many pets, have you Garrus?

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[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[This is Jacob's Concerned Face, Max.]

You're completely on your own? I mean... the Porter took everyone in your house?

[Unacceptable.]

[calibrating]

[...Yup. He feels the judgment.]

Look, it's not like turians are allowed pets during active duty.

Which we're on. A lot.

[thepalinpaladin]

Not every dog is ready for Sainthood. Ease them into it.

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[crapbearer]

Right. Clearly some arrests are in order!

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[darkpants_warmfeeling]

Sure, I'll get right on that. I'm sure I can get a search warrant for the lab at Cape Canaveral.

But in the meantime, I don't think you should have to fend for yourself. Where are you living these days?

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Dryly:]

Right. Wouldn't want a title like that to go to the dog's head, would I.

Have you ever had a dog?

[thepalinpaladin]

I have a metal lion named Blue that use to be a spaceship.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

I hear that. The Alliance was the same way. And don't even get me started on Cerberus regs for 'personal luxuries.'

Fortunately, RISE isn't as strict in that area. And it looks like the Porter isn't sending me home anytime soon. So... yeah.

[Might as well dog it up while he can.]

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[One day Jacob will stop being surprised by imPorts being nonchalant about bizarre things in their lives. Today is not that day.]

Uh... yeah, I think I'm going to need a little more information on that one.

[calibrating]

I liked that little robo-dog thing Shepard had on the Normandy. Maybe if we're lucky, one will port on over here.

Or maybe I should get an actual dog too and name that one Fluffy. Be one of the cool kids.

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[brushoff]

If we're going for orders, I prefer "come."

[ said with the world's most suggestive-looking smirk. Look, you saw this coming. ]

[thepalinpaladin]

Hang on.

[Ya know let's just. Move the webcam a but so it captures this beautiful young lady who is lounging on the floor.]