003. text

[hunksmash]

okay I've noticed something and maybe it's the whole "superhero" theme this place has but

am I seriously the only fat dude?

I have not seen another fat guy. or person. that is an imPort.

not that I'm self-conscious or anything I'm great and supremely handsome and blah blah blah. but a spade's a spade. and I think I'm the only spade and that's weird to me.

Comments

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[crapbearer]

You've got a point... that's so weird. It's not like there aren't fat heroes. I met Beowulf back home and he had a gut that would put most truckers to shame.

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[hunksmash]

see? it's not like it's a huge detriment or anything!

and I just realized that I didn't even question the existence of Beowulf for realsies. surrealism is just officially life now.

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[huntergames]

youve really seen every import?

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[hunksmash]

well no. probably not. I've seen a lot though.

enough to build up a suspicion that apparently deserves to be asked about.

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[protects_the_small]

In general, running to fat wasn't something many people were able to DO back home, unless they were in the nobility. Perhaps that has something to do with it?

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[hunksmash]

maybe. I can buy that swaying it a little. I've met people from different times and populations where that might not be a thing.

I've also met enough modern-era American-type folks that I'd figure there'd be at least one more but I have not met that person yet. just seems statistically improbable.

permatext

[deadtective]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I know a guy who's probably even tubbier than you are; you're just not looking in the right places.

[Hazel this is absolutely no way to talk about your boyfriend IN PUBLIC WHERE PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE YOU]

permatext

[hunksmash]

point him out to me. we'll have a big guy party.

[performance]

Hey! Now that you mention it, it IS really weird. I guess I haven't seen any fat superheroes (unless I HAVE and they were really good at keeping it a secret), but some of the guys I knew back in the circus were huge and could probably lift a truck which means they could definitely punch a supervillain or two! Missed opportunities, IMO.

Important scientific digression: how handsome? 7? 8? 10???

[hunksmash]

'supremely' might be a strong word and I don't know if I can rate myself. I've always done alright tho.

maybe I can say 8? that seems pretty safe and fair.

[douchebag]

This world's at war, right? And you fight a war with soldiers. In my experience, a fat soldier's a dead soldier.

So either you're here by mistake or you're good enough at what you do that it doesn't matter whether you're fat or not.

[hunksmash]

guess I'll keep gunning for the latter.

do you think they get to pick and choose who gets dragged in? I thought it was considered pretty random.

[thepalinpaladin]

You are the only fat dude yeah man

But slow down you're not as supremely handsome as me. A good second place though? We can't all be Lance

[hunksmash]

it's not like I made a direct comparison or anything.

text; anon

[nastygram]

gj asking via text to save yourself from vicious bodyshaming
AND i like how you turned it inwards and got the jump on the trolls

[hunksmash]

sure? I don't think anybody would've been a jerk about it if I'd done something else tho
plenty of people have seen and interacted with me and it hasn't been a problem yet

not here

[jacksonian]

[ Mark, who is very very short and round, looks at this post, and thinks about enlightening this guy. And then he decides:

Nah. ]

[hunksmash]

[ Come on, man. Rotund Party Day is just around the riverbend. ]

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[dumbfound]

I think there are some other imports that are fat.
Like uhm...

[ Give him a solid minute and a half of uncomfortable silence to realize he can't think of a single name. ]

Oh...
I dont think there are any fat imports.

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[hunksmash]

well there's me
so if you ever wanna pick me, a stranger, out of an import crowd...

[instars]

Do you believe that?

[hunksmash]

Which part? That I might be the only fat guy, that that's kinda weird, or that I'm not self-conscious?

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[deadkord]

Frankly I'm surprised no one else has pointed this out before. I guess it's more awkward when someone at peak physical condition points it out, though.

[ Ted's fit enough now, if only because his inner fat dude is kept inner out of concerns of having another heart attack. ]

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[hunksmash]

maybe. there's probably a few demographics that this place doesn't really seem to favor. or acknowledge.
however that works.

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[darwinatrix]

Lose some weight.

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[hunksmash]

Oop. There it is.

I didn't say I was worried about it or anything, so... Nah.

text; comm tag is "Tadashi"

[tadeadshi]

I knew a few bigger imPorts before, but that is definitely something I haven't given much thought to.

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[hunksmash]

it took me a little while to notice it actually but yeah. once the thought's there it seems like a notable absence.

I guess I might not be totally correct though? there might be another! somewhere.