001 Video

[thevictoriandetective]

[There's some fumbling and muttered rude words, a flash of blue and gray. Finally it comes into focus, a tall, thin man--not as tall as he looks--gazing intensely into the screen. There's a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead that his dark curls are sticking to. His eyes dart back and forth rapidly, and his pallor suggests he's ill or at least feels ill. He's wearing a fitted white shirt under a tailored suit jacket. More likely the latter, though he looked like he didn't belong in Florida weather. He's in an alleyway, someplace quiet.]

Hello. My name is Sherlock Holmes.

[He's expecting some recognition or something. That arrogant tilt of his chin hides the utter bewilderment and flabbergastation that's whirling around in that mind. Oh yeah, he's dead confused and completely out of his element, figuratively and literally.]

Clearly this is some massive practical joke, no doubt financed by someone who hates me. Since that's a lot of people, I figured I would address as many as possible with this device. You can't expect me to believe I haven't just been kidnapped and dropped in this disgusting swamp and that some stupid newspaper has-been in search of his last chance at a proper story is waiting behind curtain number three to snap a picture of me making a fool of myself. Or a mad little experiment from our old friends at Baskerville. I really don't care, though admittedly, you've done an excellent job with the special effects, the cars...the science fiction. Theatrical. I applaud the spectacle.

However, it grows tiresome. This ruse is stupid, so you can stop this now, you can give up.

I also will need plane tickets back to London immediately, return my actual phone, and someone to remove this idiotic tattoo.

Don't make me call my brother.

Comments

[snarkbot]

Your first guess was correct, I am in fact an artificial intelligence. Specifically, I'm a BX9 Security Robot from the 25th Century. But you may call me Skeets, Mr. Holmes.

[ Just casually throwing time travel into the mix, no big. ]

[thevictoriandetective]

Oh, so we're doing time travel now. Well, I suppose that was bound to come up. Naturally.

[snarkbot]

According to records and my own experience, the Porter has the capability to draw in imports from various eras even down to different months of the same year. So while in my case the time travel was in my own world, it was always bound to come up, sir.

[thevictoriandetective]

[Poor Sherlock, it takes him a good moment to collect himself again after that.]

Right. Of course.

[He's still staring at the image of the robot, it's not like he can deduce much as it's not exactly human but it makes him feel slightly better to try and see if he can't glean some clues from it's appearance.]

[snarkbot]

[ The most that can probably be gleaned is what one can't see. No obvious means of keeping himself afloat - though his rear end does glow. And he has fins, no doubt to help steady himself.

He's also very smooth, with no noticeable hinges or seams - but his little robot arm extension that allows him to hold the comm means that he must have attachments, and surely there's some way to access his machinery - the chassis is just so smooth and perfectly constructed as to make even Mac laptops jealous.

He also doesn't quite stay still. He bobs a little when he speaks, as if to emphasize his words. Interestingly enough, also, from what one can see of the surroundings, he's hovering high enough that if a person was there he'd be at eye height. ]

I'm sorry if this is difficult for you, sir. I'm afraid there's not much I can do to ease you in slowly. But if you have any questions or problems I can try to assist.

[thevictoriandetective]

[Sherlock is very impressed by his construction. It certainly looked like it was from the future. The way it was floating was a big clue, obviously. And it was strangely kind. The absurdity of a robot being kind nearly sent him into hysterical giggles. Fortunately he had a bit more self control than that.]

That's...uh. Thank you. I'm...really not sure where to start, I've certainly got questions...

[snarkbot]

I'll give you a moment to recover, sir.

[thevictoriandetective]

I'm...I'm fine. [Even if he wasn't, he wouldn't admit it.]

I...uh... just...[He clears his throat.] So this phamplet they gave us...it's all true?

[snarkbot]

As far as I've been able to ascertain. I have not yet found evidence to contradict it yet, sir.

[thevictoriandetective]

But that means I actually have superpowers.

[He scoffs, but looks anxious under all that.]

[snarkbot]

Yes sir. Congratulations. [ And then he plays the sound effect of a party horn. ]

[thevictoriandetective]

[He's not amused and glares at the robot.]

Was that noise really necessary?

[snarkbot]

Should I re-calibrate my sense of humour, sir?

[ He can be a lil shit sometimes. ]

[thevictoriandetective]

If you can call that a sense of humor in the first place.

[snarkbot]

You're cutting me right to the circuits, Mr. Holmes.

[thevictoriandetective]

I would think an AI would allocate more energy and resources to things that mattered, not the farce you call an attempt at humor.

[Sherlock likes to think he has less need for feelings than an actual machine.]

[snarkbot]

[ He pauses, wondering if he's genuinely offended the man. Perhaps he went too far.

Sincerely: ] My apologies, sir.

[thevictoriandetective]

[Sherlock blinks and thinks that maybe he's confused the robot with his characteristic biting commentary. He's not quite gotten used to the fact that he was talking to a machine.]

Right well...good.