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[thevictoriandetective]

[There's some fumbling and muttered rude words, a flash of blue and gray. Finally it comes into focus, a tall, thin man--not as tall as he looks--gazing intensely into the screen. There's a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead that his dark curls are sticking to. His eyes dart back and forth rapidly, and his pallor suggests he's ill or at least feels ill. He's wearing a fitted white shirt under a tailored suit jacket. More likely the latter, though he looked like he didn't belong in Florida weather. He's in an alleyway, someplace quiet.]

Hello. My name is Sherlock Holmes.

[He's expecting some recognition or something. That arrogant tilt of his chin hides the utter bewilderment and flabbergastation that's whirling around in that mind. Oh yeah, he's dead confused and completely out of his element, figuratively and literally.]

Clearly this is some massive practical joke, no doubt financed by someone who hates me. Since that's a lot of people, I figured I would address as many as possible with this device. You can't expect me to believe I haven't just been kidnapped and dropped in this disgusting swamp and that some stupid newspaper has-been in search of his last chance at a proper story is waiting behind curtain number three to snap a picture of me making a fool of myself. Or a mad little experiment from our old friends at Baskerville. I really don't care, though admittedly, you've done an excellent job with the special effects, the cars...the science fiction. Theatrical. I applaud the spectacle.

However, it grows tiresome. This ruse is stupid, so you can stop this now, you can give up.

I also will need plane tickets back to London immediately, return my actual phone, and someone to remove this idiotic tattoo.

Don't make me call my brother.

Comments

[heckblazer]

Of course. I'm practically best mates with the whole Justice League.

[ HOPEFULLY the sarcasm was thick enough to be detectable. ]

[thevictoriandetective]

[A smirk. Sherlock's every waking moment seemed to be dedicated in inflicting as much sarcasm as he could at any poor soul who had the misfortune of coming across his path, so he was well-versed in picking it up. Plus with being around the likes of the sass master John Watson...]

I can only assume that there is some probably some sort of terrible overarching reason behind all of this. Probably a terrible one.

[He's delighted at the thought of an incredible mystery. Despite his reservations and disbelief, he's suddenly quite cheered up.]

[heckblazer]

Yeh' don't know the half of it, bruv. Obviously they've an agenda. Somewhere under the folksy Americana routine 'round here. Not sure anyone's been able to crack the surface yet, though.

[ But then, they didn't have the world's other best detective milling about before. Oh, John can already tell he's made a new friend. ]

[thevictoriandetective]

[He's hooked already. Just that last sentence alone, he wouldn't even care if he was in a coma and this was some mad dream, he was going to find an answer. His demeanor seems a lot less hostile towards him. Oh dear, he's actually warming up?]

Brilliant!

[He kind of says that out of nowhere, looking gleeful.]

[heckblazer]

[ John makes a mental note to see if Holmes is this much of a... piece of work in other timelines. It's been a while since he cracked a book. Maybe too long. ]

Name's John, by the by. John Constantine. Dabble a bit in investigations me'self, but ah... not exactly my foremost past time.

[ Which is as close as he'll ever get to being honest or humble about himself so ENJOY THE MOMENT. ]

[thevictoriandetective]

[He nods in return, the giddiness still apparent by the smirk on his face that surprisingly hasn't disappeared.]

Are you any good?

[John? Speaking of, he really should see if the John he knew was pulled into this place. It wouldn't be half as fun without him. But he declined to say anything about it at the moment, just in case. It didn't do to play all your cards at once.]

[heckblazer]

I dabble. But I'm not you, mate.

[ He...also just happens to dabble in occult business that will probably send Sherlock back to having a spinning head. That might come up at some point. ]

[thevictoriandetective]

[He's flattered by that. It's one of the few ways to get on his good side. His tone and demeanor is loads more friendly.]

Well, suppose we could pool our resources. If you find anything we should share information.