maskormenace | 001 Video

[There's some fumbling and muttered rude words, a flash of blue and gray. Finally it comes into focus, a tall, thin man--not as tall as he looks--gazing intensely into the screen. There's a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead that his dark curls are sticking to. His eyes dart back and forth rapidly, and his pallor suggests he's ill or at least feels ill. He's wearing a fitted white shirt under a tailored suit jacket. More likely the latter, though he looked like he didn't belong in Florida weather. He's in an alleyway, someplace quiet.]

Hello. My name is Sherlock Holmes.

[He's expecting some recognition or something. That arrogant tilt of his chin hides the utter bewilderment and flabbergastation that's whirling around in that mind. Oh yeah, he's dead confused and completely out of his element, figuratively and literally.]

Clearly this is some massive practical joke, no doubt financed by someone who hates me. Since that's a lot of people, I figured I would address as many as possible with this device. You can't expect me to believe I haven't just been kidnapped and dropped in this disgusting swamp and that some stupid newspaper has-been in search of his last chance at a proper story is waiting behind curtain number three to snap a picture of me making a fool of myself. Or a mad little experiment from our old friends at Baskerville. I really don't care, though admittedly, you've done an excellent job with the special effects, the cars...the science fiction. Theatrical. I applaud the spectacle.

However, it grows tiresome. This ruse is stupid, so you can stop this now, you can give up.

I also will need plane tickets back to London immediately, return my actual phone, and someone to remove this idiotic tattoo.

Don't make me call my brother.

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[A smirk. He enjoys the reactions he gets to his deductions.]

Oh, I never said it was. Do you even use your immortality for anything at all?

Well I am Dorian Gray. [ said with a scowl and a little huff. ] What would you have me use my immortality for in the first place?

A good number of pranks, for one thing.

[Oh, all the things he could have done with ultimate healing. All the trouble he could have caused Mycroft. A faraway smile as he thought about the mayhem.]

Oh, I've done a fair share of those in my time, [ said with a little laugh. ] But you can't tease people all the time. For the rest of the day, that's what being a fashion plate is for.

[Sherlock seems somewhat pleased, at least, at that. Maybe this fellow isn't a complete waste of his time.]

So I take it everyone here has 'gifts'.

They do. If you don't have something remotely resembling a "superpower" back in your world, the Porter gifts you with one.

[ though Dorian doesn't physically make the air quotes, you can hear the air quotes in the word 'superpower' in the tone of his voice. ]

Seems suspicious.

[He frowns.]

I doubt that every single person brought over is benevolent. That is highly dangerous.

[Now what on earth was technopathy? It said so on his pamphlet. Accessing computer interfaces? Seemed impossible. How unscientific.]

Edited 2016-11-18 03:58 (UTC)

[ Dorian can't help himself. With the grin of someone who knows how terrible the joke is, he answers ]

No shit, Sherlock. That doesn't change the fact that it happens.

[A scowl. He's got a look so sour it could curdle milk.]

Well. Now that we've established that...What sorts of things can other people do here?

[Every syllable seems like it pains him. He would have probably left a long time ago if Dorian didn't have decent information and he was certainly not going to turn down such a source, even if he did tax his last nerve.]

Depends on the person, [ Dorian idly responds, with a shrug. ] My husband's a vampire, one of my dearest friends controls shadows, and my ex could generate fire.

[ he just says this all with a straight face, 100% used to the bonkers nature of this world. ]

[He looks unimpressed, even though inwardly he was a mixture of shock and catatonia. His brain kept refusing to acknowledge these things.}

Naturally there'd be vampires here. Of course. Shadow controlling? Fire generation? Of course.

[Repeating himself just meant he was on the verge of getting stuck in a blank feedback loop like he did when Dorian showed him how his immortality worked.]

Need to take a moment to wrap your head around all this?

[ he is 100% teasing and 100% being a shitheel. ]

[At least Sherlock's irritation snapped him back to normal.]

I'm FINE. Really. I don't need a moment.

Sure? Because, at least where I am, it seems like you do.

I am perfectly and utterly FINE!

[His screen flickers wildly for a moment when his technopathy responds to his emotional state.]

Oh that's bullshit, [ Dorian remarks with a little grin. ]

Check your connection, by the way. Your screen was strange for a bit.

[He ignores that and the grin, and fumbles with his communicator.]

It seems normal now. Probably a lousy signal.

Probably. These things are so weird at times. [ said with a dismissive siiiiiiiigh. ]

So is there anything else I should be wary of here? Roving gangs of super villains? [Despite what he's seen he's still sarcastic.]

Well there is Calendar Man.

What on earth is calendar man? A giant angry calendar with arms and legs?

He's the best super villain here, [ Dorian remarks, with 100% seriousness. ] His deal is holidays: he commits crimes on holidays and the crimes are themed around holidays. He'd use exploding chestnuts and deadly tinsel to cause chaos on Christmas.

How utterly ridiculous and predictable. Why hasn't anyone caught him yet if they know when he's going to strike?

[Mutters] I doubt there'll be anyone as skilled as Moriarty around here. What a pity.

My personal theory is because he's just too fun. We've got a surprising amount of people from superhero sort of world, they need something to do!

Ah. Well, I can respect that.

Re: video;

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