02 | Text | Total misfire meant for John Watson

[thevictoriandetective]

Can you get me an arm or a leg or something to experiment on? I haven't made any friends with morgue personnel yet.

Eyeballs would be fantastic too. The best I could do lately was a severed finger I found in a gutter.

-SH

Comments

[heckblazer]

why not just sell your soul like a normal person so that you don't have an obvious and highly flammable weakness?

[brushoff]

I don't know how many times I have to tell you people that I had no idea of the terms & conditions when I made the deal in the first place.
Because if I did, OBVIOUSLY my Achilles Heel wouldn't be something you can take out with a lighter that costs two pounds.

[heckblazer]

HEY.

I own nicer lighters than that and I can't think of any reason why I'd need to exploit your massive Achilles Heel.

yet

[brushoff]

That's only proof that we need to get to know each other better!

[heckblazer]

I think I know a fair bit about you.

I wonder why that would be.

Maybe because one of us talks about himself much more.

[brushoff]

I TRY to talk to you about you and your life but you shut down and don't tell me things!

[heckblazer]

you ever hear yourself sometimes?

[brushoff]

I'm not the one who was all "blah blah I have a crush but I won't tell you who it is."

[ Dorian, don't talk about this in public. ]

[heckblazer]

I'm not exactly a one-girl or one-bloke type of fella. Not like I sent you state secrets like the Royal Family being lizard people.

Woulda kept my mouth shut if I knew you'd act like a schoolgirl about it.

[brushoff]

"Oh, hello mate, my name's John Constantine and I don't know how to talk to shy people! Bugger shit more swearing goes here. Let me ask my good buddy Dorian for help, he's a nice bloke."

[ just ignoring it was a misfire ]

That's an impression of you, by the way.

[heckblazer]

Impeccable.

[brushoff]

I should have been an actor!

[heckblazer]

In snuff films, maybe.

[brushoff]

In ACTUAL films!

[heckblazer]

They count as actual films. Snob.

Plus you can keep making them an infinite amount of times. You'd make a killing.

[brushoff]

Or not! It still hurt when I die, you know. I remember every wound that my portrait's taken on.