011 ★ Video

[unbreaker]

I guess it's that time again, huh?

[Despite being dressed in a stark white shirt, matte black tie, and lacking his usual over-the-top effects, Josuke's face is lit up like the sun. He waves at the camera, giving the people he's speaking to his undivided attention. Behind him, people dressed similarly amble in the direction of Heropa's police academy, most seeming to pay him no mind, but a couple of the younger adults stopping to wave at the recording camera as some people can't help but do.]

There's a lot of new imPorts showing up. Think I even saw some heading to the houses near mine. Reminds me of when I got here two years ago...it's kinda hard to believe I'm going on the third year already.

[He scratches at the back of his head and then shrugs.]

Can't say it's been bad, though! I've met a lot of great people and had a lot of fun. But things can get sort of wild around here, you know? Which is what I really wanted to talk about. As amazing as this place can be...there's a lot of shit to watch out for and people to be wary of.

[Not naming any names, of course. Not yet.]

But don't worry. It really does get easier, and you're not alone.

[With a toothy grin, Josuke gives the camera a thumbs up.]

Anyway...I'm probably in for a long day here, but I'm thinking of catching a movie later. Any of you wanna come along, maybe make some friends and get to know the ropes a little, you're more than welcome!

Comments

[oceanthief]

Humans eat the same way even on universes we don't exist in! If you feel bad about it then you have to do something.

[unbreaker]

Maybe you just want us to think you don't exist! You could be everywhere!

[oceanthief]

We aren't. Both of us would know if there were gems in one of these other worlds.

[unbreaker]

How can you be so sure? You've probably spent so much time watching soaps you're out of touch with reality!

[oceanthief]

If gems existed in your world, you wouldn't even be thinking about complaining over something as stupid as your inefficient energy gathering.

[you would also possibly not have a place to live depending on how far into the colonization process they were. hard to tell.]

[unbreaker]

...has anyone ever told you that you're way too literal?

[oceanthief]

A few people, yeah.

[unbreaker]

Lemme guess, it was in one ear and out the other?

[oceanthief]

I didn't let them get close enough to put anything in me, it was over the communicator.

[unbreaker]

[Josuke drops his communicator onto the ground and for several long seconds all that can be heard is a long-suffering groan. He knows he asked for this, but even so...this is so much worse than he thinks he deserved.]

[oceanthief]

[she waits several seconds to see if he's coming back, but it seems like she's destined to just listen to him sound like he stuffed himself full of too much heartful food.]

...was I not supposed to?

[the idea of having something filtered through her head is so unappealing, though...]

[unbreaker]

[Another distant groan before, after another couple of seconds, he scoops the communicator back up and dangles it in front of him between two fingers. He's upside down on camera...and gives no fucks.]

That's not it. I just think...maybe you should try to be less literal in the future. It couldn't hurt to try, right?

[oceanthief]

[it's fine. Lapis just turns her head at an angle that must be incredibly uncomfortable in order to match him. this is probably who you're supposed to do it, she thinks.]

I don't think that it'll really do much good. You can't change who you are.

[unbreaker]

I'm not asking you to stop being Lapis. I just think you'll understand humans better if you try to do like we do for a little while!

[oceanthief]

[judging by expression alone, he might as well have asked her to swallow an entire gallon of bleach]

I don't think there's anything I could do that would make me understand you guys better.

[unbreaker]

LAPIS! Work with me, here!

[oceanthief]

I will as soon as you come up with something that's not completely crazy!

[unbreaker]

[Long pause.

And then a defeated whine as he falls back on the ground with his phone clutched in his hand, the camera pointed up at the sky.]

I give up...

[oceanthief]

I told you, it's really difficult.

[human culture's rough! you gave it a good shot for the day though, Josuke. Lapis might even eat another piece of chocolate before the sun goes down.]