maskormenace | (no subject)

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[On the network is what appears to be a young boy, about 12 or 13 years old. For a moment, he stares quite soulfully at the video output impossibly deep, black eyes, and then pokes at the screen with one fingernail.]

Not even a proper imp in there, how's that for you...?

[He pulls back and mimes clearing his throat. A voice far, far more booming than is fit for the child's face resounds across the feed.]

Right, broadcast. AHEM. This is just a friendly, non-suspicious question, inquiring on when the next coup or violent overthrow of this government is going to be. Not that I'm actually advocating it, I just know you humans really can't resist.

I'm pretty handy with a popcorn machine if anyone can provide good seats.

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[ A shrug. ]

"I'm slightly more clever than that."

I don't really know enough about genies to dispute that...

You'd think my mom could've told someone about it, though.

Oh?

Who was making faces like-

[ In response, Miles makes an even worse face. And a rude gesture. ]

What good does it do me to lie about that? Hey, though she could have been young too. Explains why she might think --- no I can't even say it.

...What a horrible sound.

What, the kids thing?

You'd think a five-thousand-year-old would be a little more mature.

Oh no, I've completely sworn off maturity. Everyone has to have a vice. Backchat is mine.

Isn't it just? I once drove a priestess in the Sundan mad looking for the ghost she swore was haunting her nights.

Anatomically impossible I'll have you know. I don't have one of those.

"Even when mimicking others?"

[ Curiosity overrides sense for a moment. ]

If I need to unsettle someone. It's amazing how many novice magicians can be put off by a few dangly bits.

"Hmm. Well, I suppose it would be surprising."

My point is that killing oughtn't be taken lightly.

Excuse me. No one is better at being me than me.

Don't act proud of that! That's horrible!

Especially when you put them in the wrong spots.

"... How so?"

Oh, I can just show you.

[ This lovingly crafted action text has been redacted. Please rest assured that the form looked distinctly unhygienic. ]

[ It's too much. This is just too ridiculous. Miles bursts out laughing. ]

Right?

[ There's wobbling when it talks. It seems unfortunate. ]

[ He just shakes his head after a moment. ]

It's too ridiculous to be terrible.

Hey, a job's a job. Wasn't my fault.

You know, I'm not going to live long with that kind of mentality.

I'm really fond of living long. Sort of a habit.

[ .....................................

the muting has backfired, Bartimaeus can't hear the CLEARLY WORDS OF PRAISE FOR HIS INGENUITY.

He turns back into the child and opens the line again. ]

See. Not to be trifled with.

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