(no subject)

[lapwing]

[On the network is what appears to be a young boy, about 12 or 13 years old. For a moment, he stares quite soulfully at the video output impossibly deep, black eyes, and then pokes at the screen with one fingernail.]

Not even a proper imp in there, how's that for you...?

[He pulls back and mimes clearing his throat. A voice far, far more booming than is fit for the child's face resounds across the feed.]

Right, broadcast. AHEM. This is just a friendly, non-suspicious question, inquiring on when the next coup or violent overthrow of this government is going to be. Not that I'm actually advocating it, I just know you humans really can't resist.

I'm pretty handy with a popcorn machine if anyone can provide good seats.

Comments

[lapwing]

Or just take bits. I mean, I don't have to eat all in one go. Everyone assumes that the head is the best part, but I really do favour the gams when it comes down to it.

Not that I have vast experience or anything.

[devoutish]

But then they take me and bury me, and you've lost me.

[lapwing]

Oh. Ew.

[ They swap back over to Kitty's feed. ] Seriously, are you INTO that?

[lapwing]

[ He shrugs Ptolemy's shoulders. ]

Almost overwhelmingly so.

[lapwing]

You've got a point there. I'll have to think about it.

[rathercommon]

So there could be more types of people than just the ones you know, couldn't there?

[rathercommon]

Am I into...what?

[devoutish]

Have you got a name, djinni?

[monge]

[Woah...how did he know that?]

W-Well, sometimes I try to talk things out before it ever gets that bad, z-zura...

[dendarii]

You're sure you can't get him to shut up?

[lapwing]

Oh, not even disclosing. Hows that for a behaviour?

[lapwing]

And you're going to wrap this up with a heartwarming story about how he's clearly a good example?

[lapwing]

[ HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA NOPE. ]

Oh, I'm sure one will happen once I've begun my magnificent and great deeds here.

[devoutish]

I could ask one of your friends.

[lapwing]

[ IT SEEMS TO BE A THEME. ]

Oh yes. They stand back, just far enough to bark orders but not get hit themselves. Same with almost every human I've had the misfortune of working with.

[lapwing]

You could. But you seem like a reasonable gent. I'd hate to kill you.

[devoutish]

For asking for your name? I haven't even tried to shove you in a bottle yet.

[monge]

T-That's not really Keita's fault...he's just...really average, z-zura! He can't defend himself like we can, zura...

[At least, that's how he rationalized it.]

[dendarii]

She likes me just fine.

[rathercommon]

Look, I like him, all right? You haven't even got a sex drive, or sex bits, you're not allowed to comment.

[rathercommon]

No, I'm going to wrap it up by pointing out that you might be five thousand odd years old, but you're still naive in certain regards. That's all. And it's worth it to be open to new experiences. And arseholes turning out all right - I mean, you of all people know that's quite possible.

GOSH I am enjoying these two.

[lapwing]

It's that yet bit. Gets me all prickly.

SAME they're such shits

[devoutish]

I've got to keep you on your toes, eh?

[lapwing]

I'm topped off in both of those categories.

[lapwing]

Sure. Sure. I'm here to break your will down and grind your resolution to dust, not break up your wedding plans.