(no subject)

[lapwing]

[On the network is what appears to be a young boy, about 12 or 13 years old. For a moment, he stares quite soulfully at the video output impossibly deep, black eyes, and then pokes at the screen with one fingernail.]

Not even a proper imp in there, how's that for you...?

[He pulls back and mimes clearing his throat. A voice far, far more booming than is fit for the child's face resounds across the feed.]

Right, broadcast. AHEM. This is just a friendly, non-suspicious question, inquiring on when the next coup or violent overthrow of this government is going to be. Not that I'm actually advocating it, I just know you humans really can't resist.

I'm pretty handy with a popcorn machine if anyone can provide good seats.

Comments

[lapwing]

For what? Your feelings?

[dendarii]

Important things, those. But mostly Kitty's in this case.

[lapwing]

Hold up. Haul that back, Chuckles. Where did we go from your attempts to dive bomb onto the nearest sharp rock to hiding behind her legs?

[dendarii]

[ That finally gets a reaction, albeit a grumpy one. ]

Promised her not to.

[lapwing]

Ooohhh. Well, that's not my promise you're breaking, now, is it?

[dendarii]

You won't get any wriggling on this one. A Vor's word is legally binding.

[lapwing]

Yeah that means utterly nothing to me.

[dendarii]

You can't guess from context? Much less clever than I thought.

[ An exaggerated sigh. ]

I am a Vor. I must keep my oaths. Simple enough.

[lapwing]

Uh huh. I'm glad you had enough of a fit of conscience to inform me of it, rather than just trying to work me up as a loophole in your flimsy moral code there.

[dendarii]

I'll own up to my own flaws. I'm a wriggly bastard.

[lapwing]

I wouldn't call it wriggly so much as intensely screwed up and enough education to be dangerous.

[dendarii]

You still hardly know me, you know. Do I remind you of someone, perhaps?

[lapwing]

[ Yes. ]

You flatter yourself.

[dendarii]

[ He knew it, dammit. ]

Nathaniel?

[lapwing]

[ Yes. ]

Did I say yes? I didn't say yes. Here's with all of the assuming again.

[dendarii]

But I'm right. I can tell.

[lapwing]

[ HACKLES UP. ]

You know, he probably wouldn't appreciate his name all over either. Just a pro tip there.

[dendarii]

Oh whatever. You're the only one who can actually hurt him with it.

[lapwing]

[ Oh, not exactly true. But that's hardly information Bartimaeus is going to be giving out. ]

Can't say that's not fair though. He tries to hurt me, I turn it on him. Seems balanced to me.

[dendarii]

I thought you were friends.

[lapwing]

[ Maybe. The chance is gone now. ]

Okay, let me lay this out nice and clear. There is no way you can be friends with a slave. I was never there willingly. Never took an order that didn't involve do it or be bound and or killed if I didn't. Just staying in the material world is draining and painful.

I might give the odd bit of particularly savvy advice, which he always ignored. But trust me, if he could have kept using that marvellous range of punishment spells on me? He would have. He did with the other slaves.

[dendarii]

[ He missed some of that, but ... ]

What do you mean, if he could have?

[lapwing]

[ He narrows his eyes. ] Exactly what I said.

[dendarii]

Why couldn't he?

[dendarii]

[ The comment with Nathaniel's name has been ICly deleted. ]