(no subject)

[lapwing]

[On the network is what appears to be a young boy, about 12 or 13 years old. For a moment, he stares quite soulfully at the video output impossibly deep, black eyes, and then pokes at the screen with one fingernail.]

Not even a proper imp in there, how's that for you...?

[He pulls back and mimes clearing his throat. A voice far, far more booming than is fit for the child's face resounds across the feed.]

Right, broadcast. AHEM. This is just a friendly, non-suspicious question, inquiring on when the next coup or violent overthrow of this government is going to be. Not that I'm actually advocating it, I just know you humans really can't resist.

I'm pretty handy with a popcorn machine if anyone can provide good seats.

Comments

[lapwing]

[ The bird settles, preening. Frankly, Bartimaeus' normal voice doesn't make this guise any better. ]

As I was saying...

[rathercommon]

Oh, god, and what is that hideous form?

[lapwing]

They're called Poor-Me-Ones... mostly because they sound like this.

[ Please enjoy the best bird call ever. ]

[rathercommon]

...What a horrible sound.

[lapwing]

Isn't it just? I once drove a priestess in the Sundan mad looking for the ghost she swore was haunting her nights.

[rathercommon]

Don't act proud of that! That's horrible!

[lapwing]

Hey, a job's a job. Wasn't my fault.

[rathercommon]

I know it's not your fault, but that still doesn't mean you ought to brag.

[lapwing]

[ Okay but what if THIS instead. ]

[rathercommon]

...Oh, my god. Stop that.

[lapwing]

[ What was that? BIRD HARDER? ]

[rathercommon]

Stop! Go back to Ptolemy.

[lapwing]

[ The bird makes one last defiant warble .. before doing as she asks. ]

I will admit, it is a LITTLE more fetching, as far as most standards go.

[rathercommon]

[ Much better. ]

Yes. I quite like that face.

[lapwing]

It's good for a human. He came up with a couple of brilliant new ones in the Other Place, though.

[rathercommon]

Oh. Well. Mine wasn't so bad, either, was it...

[lapwing]

You spent less time.



... Nothing wrong with that, really.

[rathercommon]

Oh. No. Well. It was better for me in the long run that I did, wasn't it.

[lapwing]

Yeah. Especially with you not knowing - but I imagine you wouldn't have if you did.

[rathercommon]

I wouldn't have what? Stayed long?

[lapwing]

I was thinking more along the lines of gone at all.

[rathercommon]

Barti-

[ She starts that, her brows drawn down, her lips parted. She stops herself, pauses; takes a breath; and says, her voice quiet with suppressed emotion: ]

I don't regret a bit of it. I'd do it a thousand times.

1/ ???

[lapwing]

[ HA THAT'S WHAT HE- ]

[lapwing]

[ Oh. ]

[lapwing]

[ Oh.






The line snaps off.]