maskormenace | (no subject)

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[On the network is what appears to be a young boy, about 12 or 13 years old. For a moment, he stares quite soulfully at the video output impossibly deep, black eyes, and then pokes at the screen with one fingernail.]

Not even a proper imp in there, how's that for you...?

[He pulls back and mimes clearing his throat. A voice far, far more booming than is fit for the child's face resounds across the feed.]

Right, broadcast. AHEM. This is just a friendly, non-suspicious question, inquiring on when the next coup or violent overthrow of this government is going to be. Not that I'm actually advocating it, I just know you humans really can't resist.

I'm pretty handy with a popcorn machine if anyone can provide good seats.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...I mean, it's true that the pay isn't great, but I kinda like my job. I've got a bunch of friends in Scuttle Town, and my uncle, too. The people are pretty friendly, most of the time.

The mayor's kind of a big jerkface, though.

How big is big? Made you kill anyone you liked? Stuck you in a bottle? [ bartimaeus may... have come from a very, very different world. ]

What? No! He just keeps... firing me when I didn't do anything wrong. He always hires me back when I beat whoever's causing trouble that time around, though.

The only one who tried the lamp thing was Risky Boots, and she's sort of I guess what you'd call my nemesis?

That name though. Tell me you enchanted her footwear. There are STANDARDS to be held here.

What, Risky's?

You know, that's the strangest thing. I actually ended up getting her boots this one time, and I didn't see anything risky about them. I have no idea how she got that name.

I'm just saying, it's never too late to make a name live up to all of its meanings.

But right. I'm spotting a good amount of differences between our worlds... and good on you, yours looks gentle enough.

I'm not sure "gentle" is the right word for it, given how often pirates and monsters and all of that stuff wind up causing trouble.

I mean, towns have guardian genies for a reason, y'know.

I'm still voting that they should take care of their own problems.

Or deck you out in the lavish affairs fitting of a local protective deity.

You know, you might not think it, but being a guardian genie is a surprisingly competitive field. There are more half-genies around Sequin Land looking for work than you'd think...

Besides, if I didn't do that, the heck else would I spend my time doing?

Depends. I've heard baking is soothing? Ship work. Piracy. I've been fond of building, myself.

But hey, if you like risking your neck for no rewards and little praise, keep it up. Bang on job.

Piracy is way out. I know too many pirates.

Well, okay, just... two, not counting the tinkerbats. Which is still too many!

Tinkerbats. Rewind a bit. What are tinkerbats and what have they got to do with disrupting trade patterns?

Tinkerbats? Oh, they're Risky's crew and minions. I've never actually been clear on what they are... some kind of shadow monster?

Except they really worked for the Pirate Master the whole time, since they started helping him when he came back. [Beat.] And went back to Risky when he got defeated again.

So what I'm saying is, loyalty isn't their strong point.

But survival is. Points for that.

Edited 2017-01-19 05:24 (UTC)

Sorta. They never seem to learn that I'm gonna kick their butts whenever they try something, though.

Maybe they're just more scared of Risky than they are me.

Minions aren't cultivated for their vast intellect. Hopefully they can hold up half of a conversation, at least? Keep a trowel level?

I don't even know if they have mouths.

They do always end up setting Scuttle Town on fire somehow, though. And I guess they're the ones who build Risky's weapons, so they're probably doing something right.

But yeah, other than them, the only pirates I've ever met were Risky and her old boss, so that's not exactly good company.

Well, I was going for ease of entry anyway. Water is an absolutely abysmal element anyway, and living that close to it sounds tiresome in every extreme.

What's wrong with water? I have a few forms that make it actually kind of pleasant...

Have you tried transforming into a mermaid?

I could. I have, when pressed or just needing to mess with a ship for a little while. But... uuughhh. That's worse than being under ground.

I like swimming.

Do all genies where you come from hate it, or is this just a you thing?

Depends on what they're made of. My Essence is air and fire. Naturally not all that big on the other two.

Huh.

I don't think any of us have essences like that. Nobody ever mentioned anything like that to me.

You seem a bit on the solid side, to be honest. No offence, there. Though the fact you can change shapes gives me some hope. Ever get itchy to downright painful staying in one shape too long?

I've never tried. Usually I don't spend more than a few minutes at a time in any form that isn't, uh, this one. Me.

Do you think that's the whole half-genie thing at work?