(no subject)

[lapwing]

[On the network is what appears to be a young boy, about 12 or 13 years old. For a moment, he stares quite soulfully at the video output impossibly deep, black eyes, and then pokes at the screen with one fingernail.]

Not even a proper imp in there, how's that for you...?

[He pulls back and mimes clearing his throat. A voice far, far more booming than is fit for the child's face resounds across the feed.]

Right, broadcast. AHEM. This is just a friendly, non-suspicious question, inquiring on when the next coup or violent overthrow of this government is going to be. Not that I'm actually advocating it, I just know you humans really can't resist.

I'm pretty handy with a popcorn machine if anyone can provide good seats.

Comments

[rathercommon]

He...didn't really strike me as someone who spent a lot of time sucking up.

[lapwing]

Oh, you only met him in the nefarious all of my evil plans have come to fruition bit. He used to do a lot of bowing, scraping. Cooking.

[rathercommon]

Sorry, did you say cooking?

[lapwing]

Sure did. Don't ask me.

It was always the kitchen. And the butcher knives... [ He gives a little shudder here. ]

[rathercommon]

What, butcher knives as weapons? Instead of - a Detonation or something? I didn't know spirits often...armed themselves. [ Though, admittedly - ] Though I generally was going up against imps and foliots and the like. Less often the cleverer spirits.

[lapwing]

Er. Well no, it's not like they were silver. I imagine he likes to have them on hand just in case his master screws up.

Not that he hasn't put a couple of them in me anyway. Extremely unfriendly behaviour for someone just trying to do their job and steal a few things, kill a few magicians. The usual.

[rathercommon]

When telling this story to other people, you might want to edit out the bit about stealing and murder.

[lapwing]

What should I call it? "Engaging in political intrigue"? That has that ol' propaganda shine to it.