23 ⚜ Voice

[restingstitchface]

Friday the 13th. The most feared day and date in human history. Staying at home is recommended.

[His voice is a merry tone.]

Quite a date, isn't it? Triskaidekaphobia. Paraskevidekatriaphobia. Thirteen guests at a table. The 13th Baktun. The thirteenth floor being omitted in hotels where the number is considered unlucky.

But is today truly bad for your health? Let us examine the relationship between health, behaviour, and superstition.

[He pauses, purposefully. There's a gentle drop in the lightness of his tone.]

Tell me what you are doing today. Are you outside? Commuting to work? Shopping? Visiting friends? The risk of hospital admission may be increased by as much as 52%, you know.

[Said with a twist of sarcasm; but it ends with him speaking calmly.]

Now. Our time's up, but I'll leave you with advice. Think logically. Act rationally. And don't let the date control you.

Comments

[restingstitchface]

You do seem fond of a directness of speech. And you are openly derisive of people who believe otherwise. But plain speaking is no less theatrical, you realize?

[devoutish]

[Well, he's fond of other people speaking directly, anyway. He likes saying confusing things himself, sometimes.]

That's all right, mate; I like theatrics.

[restingstitchface]

[And fear is theatrics. Mumble, mumble. You wot, mate?]

Then why the issue with my choice of words? Or indeed, anyone's lack of plain talking.

[devoutish]

I think it may be possible, mate, that you think I have more of an issue that I do. Yeah? It was only a question, about something that did seem like common sense. Now, if I've offended you, I'm very sorry.

[restingstitchface]

[Look at that obvious stroking of his ego. Does this man think he's daft? Well, he'll take it anyway.]

Your apology is welcome. Now, do you have any other questions about this inauspicious day?

[devoutish]

Yes. What are you doing today? Are you outside? Commuting to work?

[restingstitchface]

Oh, I flew to work hours ago. I'm a punctual man, you know. Soon as these papers are drafted, I'll be on my way. Unless the boss catches me.

[Oops.]

[devoutish]

Do you fly to work with your body, in a car, or in an airplane?

[restingstitchface]

Would it be too difficult for you if I said the answer is none of those?

[devoutish]

On the back of a flying animal, or the back of a flying person?

[restingstitchface]

Nothing like that. Do you always exhibit this fondness for digging up dirt?

[devoutish]

You've made me very curious, now. Were you using the word metaphorically?

I've got a nice day planned myself. I'll have a walk in the late morning, I think, before my driving lesson, and I'll attend service at my temple this evening. It'll be a normal enough Friday, despite the date.

[restingstitchface]

A driving lesson on Friday the 13th? My, you are brave. I want to call you non-supersitious, but it's my personal opinion that would be a lie.

[A pause.]

Oh, and it was literally. The Porter granted me the gift of avian flight through metamorphosis. I've taken it to mean she finds it amusing.

[devoutish]

So you use your body, then.

[restingstitchface]

In a manner of speaking. But not in the way you were thinking of.

[devoutish]

And how do you know how I was thinking?

[restingstitchface]

I'm a psychiatrist. Understanding human thought runs sympatico with my line of work.

[devoutish]

You're having an off day, then.

[restingstitchface]

Am I? My manner of thinking is different to yours. It's only natural our thoughts run in opposite directions. Though I admit it seems they run parallel.

Funny, that.

[devoutish]

Mm. And what does a head doctor do when he's off work and avoiding the boss? Besides making posts like this.

[restingstitchface]

Private research.

Would you like to see it?

[Fear gas for Alfie. Fear gas for everyone! Except not cause he's redeeming himself. But let him enjoy his private joke, mate.]

[devoutish]

Depends? Is it paperwork? I'm on vacation from paperwork.

[restingstitchface]

There's no paperwork for you to handle, I assure you.

[devoutish]

Oh, here, you're not trying to get me to come in for some sort of consultation thing, are you? No, no; I'm not doing that.

[restingstitchface]

Oh. This isn't medical research.

I possess a fondness for classic literature in my spare time. Lately, I find myself thinking of readopting the hobby. It's been so long.

[He will drive Alfie mad by quoting arguments against sexual allegories in Poe's work, so help him God.]