[Kidou nods acknowledgement to that, and says nothing more.
If he really wanted to end this here, this is where Kidou would leave. But while he's said all that he can, he doesn't feel like he's done here. So, he lingers, weighed down by all the questions neither of them is asking and the comments neither is able to be the first to voice. That silence settles like a rock in his throat as he struggles in vain to find something - anything - to say.
I'm glad to see you, although I'm not sure if you feel the same.
I'm sorry.
What can I do?
It's easy to think these things. The feelings tie around his internal monologue until they've got a stranglehold on his thoughts all over again, making it impossible to find a way through them. It was easier when he could keep this to a mission briefing; that was so familiar that it was practically automatic. It wasn't a matter of untangling emotions, just duty.
He and Genda never did have these kinds of talks. Sakuma was the one who would come forward sometimes, with a few gentle words saying exactly what he was thinking, but somehow managing to find a way to translate it into sentences. Gouenji could just cut to the chase, albeit a lot harsher than Sakuma tended to. Endou ... he just listened in that plainly innocent, curious way that made it somehow easier to say things. But looking at Genda's neutral scowl, Kidou ran into a problem he rarely had to address: he never knew how to talk to Genda. The boy was so crisp and official, and before Shin Teikoku, Kidou had never seen a crack in his guard.
How do you just talk to someone without soccer there to explain it? It's an art Kidou's never mastered.]
action
If he really wanted to end this here, this is where Kidou would leave. But while he's said all that he can, he doesn't feel like he's done here. So, he lingers, weighed down by all the questions neither of them is asking and the comments neither is able to be the first to voice. That silence settles like a rock in his throat as he struggles in vain to find something - anything - to say.
I'm glad to see you, although I'm not sure if you feel the same.
I'm sorry.
What can I do?
It's easy to think these things. The feelings tie around his internal monologue until they've got a stranglehold on his thoughts all over again, making it impossible to find a way through them. It was easier when he could keep this to a mission briefing; that was so familiar that it was practically automatic. It wasn't a matter of untangling emotions, just duty.
He and Genda never did have these kinds of talks. Sakuma was the one who would come forward sometimes, with a few gentle words saying exactly what he was thinking, but somehow managing to find a way to translate it into sentences. Gouenji could just cut to the chase, albeit a lot harsher than Sakuma tended to. Endou ... he just listened in that plainly innocent, curious way that made it somehow easier to say things. But looking at Genda's neutral scowl, Kidou ran into a problem he rarely had to address: he never knew how to talk to Genda. The boy was so crisp and official, and before Shin Teikoku, Kidou had never seen a crack in his guard.
How do you just talk to someone without soccer there to explain it? It's an art Kidou's never mastered.]