Audio

[am_i_a_monster]

This Heaven Scent thing is the strangest feeling. I hated it at first. I don't like the idea of having anything affecting my mind. But now, I don't know.

I've been missing my Dad. He was a monster. Not a literal monster, but the kind that does the worst possible things. I thought I hated him for what he did to me, my Mom, and so many other people. Now, I'm seeing that he did love me. In the only way he knew how. Someone told me once that every family loves differently and every love is unique. I think the person that told me that, loved me too. That person was like a father to me too. And in the end, they both showed their love for me in the same way. I see that now. I can accept it now.

I feel like doing something to celebrate them. My Dad taught me how to hunt and we made dinner afterwards. I'd like to cook some venison, or other game meat now. Any recommendations on butchers?

My other father figure taught me how to play the harpsichord. I don't suppose anyone knows where I could find a harpsichord in Heropa? If I do find one, roomies, would you be okay with it?

Would anyone join me for dinner or listen to me play? I don't feel like being alone these days either.

Comments

[aggressiveapathy]

What is love, Abby. Explain that to me.

[am_i_a_monster]

Love is complicated. I guess it's just something you feel and hope it doesn't make you crazy. I'm still figuring it out. I might not be the best person to ask.

[aggressiveapathy]

But you've been accepting it. And talking. Here. So.

I'm waiting.

[am_i_a_monster]

It's a feeling that's different for everyone. It can be strong and overpowering, like it was for my Dad. Or it can be a more simple attachment, like it was with someone else.

[ video ]

[nightmarist]

[Ronan is chatting on the internet. That's how dire this Heaven Scent situation has become.]

I think I might be able to find you a harpsichord. My dad used to play one, too.

[Incidentally, he was the literal kind of monster.]

[ video ]

[am_i_a_monster]

[She switches to video and smiles]

Hi you. It would be great if you could find one! Do you play? Is that why you have adoring fans following you around?

[nightmarist]

Tragically, I only play bagpipes and guitar. Never got around to harpsichord. Though I'm pretty sure harpsichordists aren't exactly pop culture superstars.

[am_i_a_monster]

Guitar is cool and bagpipes are unique.

[She giggles.]

No, I don't know of any harpsichord pop icons either. It must be your charm.

[nightmarist]

[Ronan scoffs! That's the most absurd thing he's ever heard.]

Yeah. Obviously my charm. I should tell people to fuck off more often.

[am_i_a_monster]

[She giggles again]

It did make them squeal with delight. You should have told them where to shove their autograph books, it would have made their year.

[nightmarist]

Some of them looked twelve. I just can't be that guy.

[Ronan Lynch: fighter of men, protector of even the super-annoying children.]

[am_i_a_monster]

[She grows more serious for a moment.]

You're a good guy. Children should be allowed to be innocent.

[After a few more seconds, she has a hint of a smile again.]

And we can't blame them for having a crush.

jacks this i'm so so sorry

[admemoriam]

Ronan, I think your gold lamé shorts shrank in the-

[Is there a word for someone who's the opposite of a wingman? Because this small freckle-faced dude has been listening to the conversation from the next room, and has finally decided to save Ronan from any potential suffering. He pops his head around the door frame, sees Abigail on the communicator screen, and gives a little wave.]

Whoops, didn't realize you were talking to someone!

[nightmarist]

[Is it a blessing or a curse to live with a telepath? Because Noah could probably hear Ronan's internal screaming from all the way in the other room. Look, there are worse things in life than realizing a girl may be flirting with you, but Ronan is having trouble naming one of those things at this particular moment. Thank God for Noah, here to mortify him before an awkward silence even has the opportunity to drag on.

When Ronan turns away from the camera, Noah is met with the patented Ronan Lynch Murder Stare™.]

Thanks, buddy.

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail gives a wave back and a smile.]

Hi there. Are you the tolerable roommate from back home?

[admemoriam]

[He grins impishly, scooting his way into the room on socked feet.]

Tolerable? He said that?

[nightmarist]

I'm already regretting it.

[No, he loves you, Noah.]

[am_i_a_monster]

He did say it.

[She gives an amused grin to both of them.]

And I think he meant it too.

[admemoriam]

[Noah slings his arm over the back of Ronan's chair.]

Ronan's special like that. A real catch. [He's having too much fun.] But you're too cool for him. I mean, harpsichord? That's totally retro!

[nightmarist]

[Is Noah trying to break some kind of record? Does he want to be the first boy in history who was murdered twice by his best friends? Ronan turns to look at him again, very slowly, before returning his attention to Abigail.]

Yet Noah's favorite band is Blink-182. How does something like that happen to a person?

[As if Ronan is in any position to criticize music taste.]

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail imagines the face Hannibal would make at his harpsichord being called retro and almost laughs again.]

Retro, that's one word for it. And that might be the first time I've been called cool.

[She glances to Ronan when he speaks]

That's not so bad. At least Blink-182's not Justin Bieber.

[admemoriam]

[Oooooh did you hear that, Ronan? Noah's taste is "not so bad". That's the most flattering thing a girl has said to him in ages.]

I think you seem very cool.

[nightmarist]

[Look at Noah, the female whisperer. Ronan's sinking lower and lower in his chair. Far be it for him to get in the way of this flirting.]

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail hears a little voice in her head, reminding her of what's she done and that could never be cool. It's not as loud as it normally is though, and she can still smile.]

We both must be very cool. We've made your roommate speechless.

[admemoriam]

He knows I'm better at talking to cute girls than he is.

[I mean that is probably because of how extraordinarily gay Ronan is, but Noah's trying to be smooth.]

[nightmarist]

[Muttered:]

That's for damn sure.

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail shakes her head.]

I'm not cute.

[She never feels attractive, even with her scar and missing ear covered. She was told it was easy for her father to find victims that looked like her, since she was plain.]

I'm starting to think you're the one with the charm.

[Her eyes travel over to Ronan and back to Noah].

I think we also made him a little grumpy.

[admemoriam]

[Oh, no. Nope. Not gonna hear that from this girl right here.]

You're super cute, what are you talking about?

[Sorry, Ronan.]

[am_i_a_monster]

[She shakes her head.]

I guess I'm doing a good job of covering up the ugly.

[nightmarist]

Bullshit.

[Oh, look, Mr. Grumpy said something.]

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail looks down.]

I have scars.

[nightmarist]

So do I.

[am_i_a_monster]

Mine are reminders of ugly things.

[nightmarist]

[He's not being flippant when he says:]

So are mine.

[am_i_a_monster]

[She looks up again.]

So then you know.

[admemoriam]

No one should ever think any less of you because you've been hurt.

[Noah cuts into the conversation. His voice sounds different, somehow. He sounds older, a bit farther away.]

[am_i_a_monster]

That depends doesn't it? It depends on how I got hurt.

[Abigail glances at him, wondering if she had upset him.]

[admemoriam]

[He shakes his head.]

No. There are more important things about you.

[am_i_a_monster]

[She gives him a very small smile.]

That's sweet, but you don't even know me.

[nightmarist]

[Ronan has gone very, very quiet again. He stares at Noah and keeps his damn mouth shut, because Noah's really the one more qualified to speak.]