06 | video

[oceanthief]

[the feed is set to video, but Lapis seems only nominally interested in achieving a steady recording of her face. she's turned it on for another purpose, and the quality of everything else up until that point is really unimportant to her. at least gems don't have naturally shaky hands, even if the camera keeps trailing off into nothing now and then before she rights it, almost absent-mindedly.]

How long are you supposed to wait to be sure that someone's been ported out? I've seen people say stuff like 'a while', but humans and gems don't really seem to have the same idea of what a long time actually is.

I haven't seem someone who lives in this house with me for - [shit, fuck. Lapis' expression stutters into hesitance as she realizes that she has no idea how long she's been not seeing him, nor does she remember any useful earth calendar terms beyond month and year.] - I haven't really seen him lately. But he's kind of stupid and scared of me, so I don't know if that's on purpose or not.

[she gives a lopsided shrug, as if to say 'what can you do?' humans were a crazy weird little species, and she's given up trying to fix their misconceptions on a lot of things. if Hyunsoo wanted to think she was out to kill him, let him. he was the one looking dumb, not her.]

...I've got something else to ask, too.

[this is the reason that she'd switched the video on. Lapis' nose scrunches in a cross between disgust and bafflement before she swings the camera around to zero in on - the fridge?

without further ado, a little blue hand sneaks back into frame to swing the refrigerator door open. have you ever seen food left to its own devices for a little over a month, imPorts? if not, here's your prime chance to some front row seats because that is exactly what this fridge is full of.

clearly it's been a while since Hyunsoo was last here.]

Is food supposed to look like that?

Comments

[h2no]

Anti-bacterial stuff, too?

[oceanthief]

I'm going to wash it thoroughly.

[and boy does she mean thoroughly. nothing gets into cracks and crevices like finely manipulated water.]

[h2no]

Good job! We solved the mystery! Give it the bismuth!

[oceanthief]

...I'm going to use water.

[h2no]

Make sure it's warm! Give it some thawt!

[lapis just hang up]

[oceanthief]

[she's seriously considering it, but at the same time she's kind of worried for Archie's mental state.]

Did you hit your head when they Ported you in?

[h2no]

[oh god he's going to have to--]




They're puns, mate.

[oceanthief]

No, they're words you're not using right.

[h2no]

That's kind of the point! Do you not know what puns are?

[oceanthief]

Nonsense, apparently.

[h2no]

I'm letting this go for now, but not forever.

Good luck finding your friend, lass.

[oceanthief]

He's not my friend, he just lives here.

[somehow this is more important than the threat of having to slog through another conversation centered around wordplay. she'll come to regret that in the future, probably.]

[h2no]

Yeah, and the sky ain't blue. Whatever you say, Lapis.

[oceanthief]

...it's not blue, no.

[is. is this some kind of test???]

[h2no]

Kid, you're killin' me.

[oceanthief]

I'm pretty sure it's not that kind of communicator.

[because there are definitely some gem ones with the capability for long-range attacks, she's 90% certain.]

[h2no]

Oh. Good. You don't do idioms either.

[oceanthief]

It's kind of stupid not to say what you mean.

[although the way she says it, it seems that Lapis has accepted humans are just always going to take the dumbest route possible with this.]

[h2no]

Language is an art form and you'll never stop my puns!

[oceanthief]

I don't know why anyone would want to, it kind of seems like a big waste of time.

[h2no]

You know what's a waste of time? Eating a clock! It's very time consuming!

[oceanthief]

That seems like it'd be a little difficult for teeth as weak as a human's to get through.

[h2no]

You're right. If someone did something like that they'd need an award... like a little plaque!!

[CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP]

[oceanthief]

[joke's on you, Archie, she has no idea there's even a pun in that one because she knows jack shit about human biology.]

If you really wanted to waste your time on pointless things that don't deserve rewards, I guess.

[h2no]

You gotta do somethin' to keep yourself entertained, right?