Text, then Voice; Anonymous I.D.

[fixthegame]

[An encoded text message goes out to the network. It hasn't been sent to anyone in particular, the encryption instead serving to screen out any unwanted eyes. However, the sufficiently adept or dedicated should be able to decode it.]

Stephie, can you read me? If you're out there, I need you to answer me.

[Later, a voice message is sent out, openly accessible this time. The speaker might've come off as nonchalant if he didn't sound so flatly irritated. But more importantly... Does his voice sound familiar to you?]

This is problematic.

I don't feel presumptuous in saying I can't be the only one inconvenienced by this sudden relocation. From what I gather, people have been "settled"--that means stranded, kids--in this reality for years now. But me? I can't do "years." I've got stuff to do, people to see. And who do these people think is gonna feed my dog while I'm gone?

Okay, okay, I don't have a dog to feed. But I've been here about two hours, and this little field trip has gone on long enough. So why don't we help each other out? I don't know how many of you here are familiar with the technology required to move between alternate universes, but I am.

If you, or anyone you know, can get me these components-- [He attaches a long list full of terms like "quantum restabilizers" and "dimension-axial calibrators" topped off with a whole lot of cooling systems and power converters.] --then we'll be in business, and on our first step to returning home. Now, I'm not saying I can make this happen right away. Assembly alone will take a few weeks, and after that I'll need to make adjustments to account for any distinct properties specific to this universe. In the meantime, if anyone qualified would like to help out, let me know.

It's important that we cooperate on this. I won't be able to do everything by myself.

Comments

Voice

[dun_moch]

[Intriguing. The voice that answers this post is deep, resonant, and British.]

The city of De Chima would be a fine place to start. It is a hub of technological industry.

Do you truly believe you can build a device to travel between worlds?

[He'll almost certainly fail, as so many others have before. But that doesn't mean his ambition and expertise can't be useful.]

Voice

[fixthegame]

Unless the last few years of my life were really just a crazy dream brought on by eating junk food before bed, then yes, I do, and I can.

text; equally encrypted

[helpline]

[ because OH YAY, HERE COME CODES, the Doctor loves a challenge...and shoots Eddie back an equally encoded message. ]

You're not in Lichtenstein as well, are you?

text; new encryption

[fixthegame]

[Fine, he'll play along.]

Why, are you a fan?

Voice; id: Julian Day

[exceptfebruary]

[ That almost sounds like -- hm. He could be mistaken. Either way, there's only one way to find out. ]

You have spent two hours here. Other have spent years. Yet you seem certain you'll be able to leave in weeks.

Voice

[fixthegame]

[Well, what were the odds that he'd encounter someone he actually knew?]

Let's be realistic.

Have you ever known me not to be certain?

permatext

[deadtective]

Oooh, fun! It's been fucking months since the last try burst into fucking flames. I'll be sure to get the s'mores ready.

[fixthegame]

Better make extra for the trip home.

video;

[the_caped_crusader]

I think they would be less optimistic if they knew the details of your past attempts, don't you think, Edward?

Video; Private

[fixthegame]

[There's a long stunned silence before Edward can switch to a video feed.]

"My past attempts."

Meaning how every time I ported over, I didn't cause two planes full of people to crash? Because I don't see any other way my past is relevant to the problem at hand, and it sounds like a perfectly good reason for optimism to me.

...

I didn't expect to find you here.

voice

[dirtyredneck]

[The tone of the person speaking was dull, nearly emotionless, like they'd suffered a great loss recently.]

I can make some of that if you get me the specs on 'em.

[fixthegame]

As good a start as any. I'll have to draft the schematics by hand--I doubt I'll find them in the local library--but I'll send them over soon as I'm done.

I, ah, won't be able to compensate you for materials.

Text

[am_i_a_monster]

Your machine, or whatever you're building, it's only going to send people home if they want to go home, right?

Text

[fixthegame]

Of course. A dimensional reverter to port everyone might be faster, but I wouldn't blame anyone for wanting to stay.

Just because I want to leave here doesn't mean I haven't seen worse places to live.

[devoutish]

I, for one, welcome the attempt, mate. Hear, hear.

[fixthegame]

Too right. We'll be home before you know it.

voice;

[notyourfathersosborn]

I hate to the bearer of bad news, but it won't work.

You're hardly the only one here with a science background who's been eager to get back home to feed their dog.

voice;

[fixthegame]

Again, there's no actual dog. [Not one that he has to feed, anyway.]

It's been mentioned to me that there were previous attempts. But in this case, is "science background" really the same thing as "proven and successful experience in the specific problem that needs solving"?

voice

[aggressiveapathy]

No.

[ That's...that's it. Sorry new Eddie. ]

voice

[fixthegame]

'Kay.

[Two can play at this game.]

Voice

[viced]

[ Oh god, that voice is familiar. Not only that, but those parts are familiar -- or at least what they could come from. Not that...he's built an interdimensional transporter before. Nope.

Never.

This is a problem. The voice that kicks on the line is textbook Queens, down to the weird 'o's and 'u's. ]

The fuck are you going to do with junk like that?

[ Better. Easier than asking about 'Stephie', or pointing out awkward familiarities. ]

Voice

[fixthegame]

Gonna make the universe's best pizza oven. It'll make you the perfect pizza by scanning your taste buds for optimal flavor, and then it'll wash your car and do your taxes.

Voice; dick loading, ahoy!

[liverletdie]

[ Just.

I'm sorry, Eddie. Just laughing. For a good thirty seconds. ]

You think you can build a porter?

[ He's been on his best behavior for almost six months. This is enough to break that. ]

Voice; that doesn't sound at all strange out of context

[fixthegame]

Don't forget to breathe. You'll pass out.

[And that would be just terrible.]

Text; ID is Jonathan Crane

[restingstitchface]

Work to do, people to see.

You're not the only one stranded in no-man's land, you know, and you're not the only one to attempt to return home, wherever that is for you.

[fixthegame]

At this point, home is wherever I don't have to suffer this unreasonable ammount of naysaying of my ideas.

You're here too, Jonathan?

video;

[earnedmystripes]

You know, the last time someone tried this, everyone's ages got screwed up for like a week.

[Anyway all those items are so far above Kotetsu's pay grade; he couldn't even pronounce half of them if he tried. So uh. Good luck??? pls don't cause any imPort community-wide messes, thanks.]

video;

[fixthegame]

[He exhales with more force than necessary.]

I'll keep that in mind.