💣 008 | audio

[devoutish]

Mm. Let me ask you something, all of you. Has an imPort ever been sacked from their assigned job?

[Alfie has been lowkey trying to test the limits of his employability at the radio station for a while now, generally by being rude, confusing, and/or terrible on-air - especially now that he has a good amount of money socked away, thanks to his criminal dealings. But since he's neither quit nor been fired, his ridiculous show stays on the air, much to the delight of the small but loyal cult following it's amassed.]

I'm asking, right, because I've worked this one for over six months now, and I should think that'd be a long time to keep on someone who clearly isn't the radio host type.

But it's lucky I'm still here, isn't it, because I'm considering doing a special for April Fool's Week--

[He knows very well that it's just April Fool's Day.]

-- and that should be great fun. Yeah, you've brought me around on your incessant holidays; congratulations. What's up next, then? May Day?

Comments

audio ∞

[trouvaille]

I've listened to your show, you know, if you haven't been sacked then I'm hard pressed to imagine anyone else has.

audio ∞

[devoutish]

Perhaps those who have murdered their coworkers.

[Don't murder your coworkers, Alfie.]

[trouvaille]

Alfie no.

( slightly too dry to be convincing. no...miller...choose life. )

[ audio ]

[ghoulking]

It happens, but usually if an imPort messes up big time. Like eating all the pies at a pie factory.

[ audio ]

[devoutish]

I had pies sent to me, and then I ate them. Yeah, but that's not the same thing, is it.

[ audio ]

[ghoulking]

Unless your show relies on pies. [ it's a joke ] being an imPort has perks like not being fired when you should.

Now the next holiday would be Easter. Rabbits and eggs, right?

audio

[h2no]

I released Sharpedo into the pool I work at once when it was empty. Technically there ain't no rules against that and I could prove it was perfectly safe...

Employers weren't happy, though. It was a close one.

audio

[devoutish]

Mm - what's a Sharpedo?

[And can it be set loose in a radio station during a recording session?]

Re: audio

[h2no]

It's-- kinda like a shark. Just not as... long.

[acclimatized]

Not yet. I've always found another job. I don't know about anyone else though.

[ a beat ]

Is this week going to top your Christmas special?

[devoutish]

Oh, it should, yeah; absolutely. They'll be expecting it.

[Which, actually, might be a good reason to do nothing at all. That'd be funny.]

[lovestoys]

No, which is kind of weird, cause I don't turn up that much and when I do, I usually steal.

[He shrugs.]

Then again, I haven't been there for a month so maybe they did?

[devoutish]

Are they still sending you money?

audio;

[maevelous]

Riding the waves of imPort fame, darling. Even if you are absolutely atrocious at your job, you'll still bring in the ratings.

audio;

[devoutish]

I wonder, what would they do if I hired another man to do the broadcasts for me?

audio

[honorobble]

[Robb leans closer to the device when he hears the man's voice.]

I do not know, ser. [But he is sure that his superior at the ice cream shop isn't happy with him.] It might be that they wish to keep us because they seem rather happy with us for what we must do.

[Robb clears his throat and tries to make his voice sound as steady and manly as possible.]

I am not really the ice cream selling type either. If it is of any consolation...ser.

audio

[devoutish]

"What we must do". Would that be selling ice cream or heroism, for you?

Voice

[dun_moch]

I know of imPorts who have been removed from their positions, but for reasons of politics, not competence. They either refused to Register, or criticized the government.

[He can name literally one imPort who fits that description. But details.]

So regardless of how well your special is received, I'm sure your position will be safe. So long as you remain Registered, that is.

Voice

[devoutish]

I can't remain registered when I never registered in the first place, mate.

voice;

[exceptfebruary]

April Fool's Day.

[ Yes, he did come here solely to be a pedant. ]

voice;

[devoutish]

Is it really? Are you sure? All the holidays get amplified here; I just assumed.

text;

[hombrenuevo]

well what did you do back home?
I bet you can find a job like it if you don't want to do radio anymore

text;

[devoutish]

Unfortunately, my job back home was very specialized. Hard to replicate.

audio;

[missleadingquestions]

I know some imports who hardly ever go to work and still don't get fired.

[Of course she's not talking about people SHE knows how would you EVER assume that]

Are you really gonna do an April Fool's special??

[She'll listen for that. She thinks. She has no idea what your show is even about yet but hey]

audio;

[devoutish]

I might, yeah. We'll see.