[video]

[kestreldawn]

[In frame: a young woman, seemingly in her early 20's, though the weariness of her gaze and the downward turn of her lips would suggest someone who's much older. Or, perhaps, someone young who's been forced to grow too much, too quickly. She doesn't say anything right away, looking like she's gathering her thoughts and is regretting having not done so before recording. She inhales a quiet breath, huffs it out through her nose.]

Jyn Erso here. [She clenches her jaw, purses her lips. She absent-mindedly taps her finger on the glowing tattoo under her skin.] The last thing I remember is - light. Bright light. Heat and energy and light. [Her gaze is unfocused, mind elsewhere as she remembers.] We'd been fighting, on Scarif. We - [Her voice hitches in her throat, which she tries to clear. When she speaks again, her voice is hoarse and worn.] I don't know if anyone got away. I don't know if anyone lived. But they'd followed me down to the beach. I'm the reason they - [Another breath through her nostrils as she steels her nerves and her eyes go cold.] The fact of the matter is, I'm here, and I'm not sure why. And all I really want to do right now is shoot the ever-living kriff out of something, preferably something inhuman and non-sentient, like a dummy. I'm in some place called - De Chima? It isn't its own planet, which is - that's a different story all together, and just - look, if anyone knows where I can find something like that, please let me know. [A few more seconds of silence before the video goes black.]

Comments

[reexamined]

It is always beneficial to me to be allowed the full extent of my processing capabilities.

[Since yeah, he was kind of shutting down part of his brain right now.]

But I would rather that than have you reading it.

[Geez, what personal thoughts could he even be having, huh?]

[kestreldawn]

[Welp.]

Kind of makes me wonder what you're so concerned about.

[reexamined]

A thing called personal privacy, to start.

[kestreldawn]

Wouldn't have thought that to be a high priority for you.

It's because of how often you think about how much you dislike me, isn't it.

[reexamined]

I wouldn't be worried about letting you know that.

[He's honest when he doesn't like someone, at the very least. Which means he isn't honest, when he does.]

[kestreldawn]

No, I suppose that's true. You tell me that to my face enough for me to not have to wonder.

[reexamined]

[ UGHHHHHH. Kay, in a pretty human-like motion, holds his hands out in front of him and "sighing." Not so much a sigh, but rather the motion of lifting one's shoulders, and then relaxing them. An "exhale" almost. ]

I don't actively dislike you, Jyn. But if I did dislike something you did, I would tell you.

[kestreldawn]

Hmm. I suppose I could say the same.

I was mostly joking, by the way. I figured that if you actively hated me, you wouldn't have agreed to live here.

[reexamined]

Or maybe I'm just very very tolerant.

[kestreldawn]

No one, droid or otherwise, has enough tolerance to willingly inhabit a space with someone or something they hate.

[reexamined]

I don't agree. It's possible.

[kestreldawn]

Have you ever lived with anyone for extended periods of time with someone you loathe?

[reexamined]

Just because I haven't, doesn't mean it isn't done.

[ I mean, spies do kind of do that, sometimes. Not exactly him. Because he's the worst spy. But you know. ]

[kestreldawn]

But it also means you have no first-hand experience to draw upon.

I do.

[Many ... many .. many times over.]

[reexamined]

[ Instead of a response, because he doesn't have the experience, he remains quiet. Cassian does. But he doesn't. And it's not up to him to talk about Cassian's history. Especially when he wasn't around. ]

[kestreldawn]

[She hesitates for a moment.] The last cell mate I had on Wobani before you threw me to the ground so hard I thought my spine shattered was named Kennel.

And she threatened to murder me almost every chance she got.

She was supposed to, actually. The day you showed up.

[reexamined]

You're welcome.

[ He says, quickly enough. Like she had actually had thanked him, in this moment.

Usually, when people share a thing like that about themselves, you should also share something back. That's typical human custom. Normally he doesn't care. But it's also not like he really has an experience to share, but rather an inexperience. ]

I've only been able to make my own decisions for six years. If I had spent time with someone I didn't like before then, I wouldn't know I didn't like them, and I don't remember for how long. My memory was wiped, after important escort missions.

[kestreldawn]

[Close enough.]

I suppose that makes sense; no risk of data breach if you've got literally nothing to risk.

Do you remember anything from before Cassian .. er, well. Gave you your freedom?

[reexamined]

Nothing that would be considered "a memory" in the way a human would remember them. I didn't have "a life" then. So to speak.

[kestreldawn]

[Jyn nods slightly, shifting back on the couch to let her head fall back, staring up at the ceiling.

She could wax poetic about memories, their importance (or lack thereof) if she really wanted to. It'd really just be for her own benefit and peace of mind, though. And even she doesn't want to put K2 through that sort of ..

Torture.]

How long do you think it'll take to adjust to life here?

[reexamined]

Existing factors lead me to believe not very long.

["Normally life" will always happen faster, if the factors remain peaceful. ]

But I wouldn't count on this staying the same. Not for long.

[He has no real reason to believe that, other than a Bad Feeling.]

[kestreldawn]

[That perks her head up.]

.. What do you mean? [A beat.] You know, I wouldn't even have to ask you all these questions if you'd just let me read your mind. [A Joke.]

[reexamined]

Even if I allowed you to read my mind in this moment, I wouldn't have a defined answer for you.

[ It's hard to explain. Normally he has percentages and data to back up his "feelings." He could reasonably say that he's trying this conclusion based on how many unknown factors there are, the chance that the escalation of war could change abruptly in the middle of the night, the fact he doesn't know where or if Cassian is alive, along with the general reality that whenever good things happen for him, usually bad things happen immediately afterwards at a much stronger magnitude. ]

It's just a feeling.

[kestreldawn]

Mm. [She rests her head back against the chair again.] So you've got that weird feeling in your - er, well. Circuits, I guess. I'm not sure if that's comforting or upsetting.

[reexamined]

Upsetting, for multiple reasons. One, I shouldn't be capable of that, and two, I'm usually right.

[ Notice how he didn't say "always" when he absolutely could have?? ]

I would advise you make the best of this time we do have in relative peace.