07 | video

[oceanthief]

[it's quite late at night when this video goes up. there's no thematic reason for the timing - Lapis has simply been up here alone with her thoughts for quite a while at this point, and only now collected herself enough to feel strong enough for social interaction.

when the feed clicks on to show where 'here' is, it's easy to understand the sentiment. the camera displays the dazzling expanse of the galaxy from an up close and personal angle, bobbing gently up and down to the beat of unseen wings. it's quiet for a time, in the velvety way only space can provide, before her voice cuts through it.]

We don't make patterns out of stars where I'm from - we don't even really name them. It's just sorted by cut and facet, so that you can find things as efficiently as possible.

...I guess if we had to stare up at the same sky every night for thousands of years it might've been different.

[the camera swings slightly to focus in on a cluster of stars which ought to be familiar to any resident of earth, even with the uncharacteristic closeup.]

Apparently humans call that one Scorpius? They think it used to be some kind of big monster until it got in a fight. [she pauses for a moment, a little uncertain.] I'm not really sure any of them know what stars are actually made of.

[Lapis flits the camera around to showcase a few more constellations: Libra, Centaurus, Lupus... it's difficult to tell whether she's doing it for the viewers at home or simply her own amusement, but it's beautiful all the same.]

You have to travel a lot further out than most people realize to lose shapes like that. There's nowhere in this system that you could look from and not know where you are; wherever you go, you can always find your way back.

There are places in other worlds that just don't exist here, though. Do you think there's anything left at the end of those paths?

[there's clearly something aside from galactic scenery weighing on Lapis' mind, but she keeps whatever's prompted this trip to herself. after another panoramic view of the stars, she wordlessly clicks the feed off.]

Comments

video;

[helpline]

I've been keeping track of this Earth's stars and this Earth's constellations if you want me to point some specific things out.

[oceanthief]

That's alright. I can just go look for myself if anything doesn't match up with the pictures.

[someone is completely misunderstanding the offer, yep yep.]

[helpline]

A lot of things don't match up with the pictures. It'll be a bunch of lines and humanity somehow thinks that looks like a bear.

[oceanthief]

Oh, no, I just meant the stars. I don't really care what anyone thinks they look like.

[helpline]

Well that's a pity. The pictures are the best part.

[ paaaause ]

Wait, what d'you mean you can go look for yourself?

[oceanthief]

Did you...really not notice where I was?

[she turns the camera to face herself now - and, yep, she is totally out in space herself. without any sort of protective gear, no less. nice.]

[helpline]

[ he straight up didn't! Sorry Lapis, you're dealing with an alien who's occasionally VERY OBLIVIOUS. ]

Well that's not fair. How come you get fancy breathe in space powers?

[am_i_a_monster]

It sounds like there's a place in some other world that you're missing here.

[oceanthief]

That place doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't really matter whether I miss it or not.

[am_i_a_monster]

That's what matters the most. It can only exist in your memory palace now.

[oceanthief]

That's the most useless place for it to be.

[am_i_a_monster]

It's not useless for you. Memories are important.

[oceanthief]

Only if you can do something with them. Otherwise they're just reminders of what you don't have.

text

[substrategist]

[Lapis is out there, anyone who has met had can attest to that. But this puts a whole new spin on that perspective.

She's really...in outer space. She really is an alien.

For a little while, Sakuma quietly observes the vacuum she's floating around in, and the constellations that are the focus of some of what she says. But there are more important things to concentrate his attention on than Scorpius, Libra, and all the rest — like the mention of the world she's from.

What does she mean by stare at the same sky...? Where gems come from, is it different? Could the planet they're from possibly move through space of its own accord, or by being controlled? Probably, for a race of space rocks, such a feat wouldn't be impossible. But it does beg the question of why...

...much the way Lapis' meandering words also beg the same question.

And then, finally, she reaches some sort of point. Sakuma doesn't know if it's what he expected, but he thinks he knows from where it stems. Speaking of other worlds so soon after people have departed...could it be that she was close to those from Aliea? It seems too big a coincidence to ignore, what with her floating around above the Earth and all.

If that's it, if that's the answer, then it means she has lost yet again. He can't help feeling a little bad for her, especially considering their last conversation.]

I think the path remains.

[From their world to this one. That's how some return. How he did when the Porter glitched after his first month of being in this world.]

They've made it back, I'm sure of it.

[Kiyama, at least, Sakuma knows goes on to keep playing soccer. He isn't returning to misfortune. Or at least...not the same sort he'd faced before. But he will have to contend with Kageyama, leaving Sakuma unable to promise that anyone has made it back safely, much as he would like.]

[oceanthief]

Is there anything to go back to, though?

[it's what has her the most thoughtful of all. Gran and Ulvida had a home, a real one - they'd told her of it, briefly, with a sort of fondness that couldn't be mistaken. it had made her happy in a way she hadn't felt for so long to know that not all of those displaced on earth were really trapped there.

was it gone now? the Homeworld of her past was no more, something which she still struggled to accept at times. but that world, the one of the present...the Porter was very powerful. even if no one remembered, it changed them. could they still go home?]

[substrategist]

[There's home, Sakuma thinks. But the word means different things to different people, can be either a promise of refuge or threat against personal safety. Not everyone wants to return, he's well aware of that fact. But they all do. One day, eventually, they will each of them leave this world. It's just a matter of time until their number is called.

And then where will they go? Back to where they came from. Probably. That's the safe assumption, and the only answer he has based on reports he's heard here and his own experience.]

The lives left waiting for us.

[That's it, in all probability. Unless the Porter, or the AI within it, could send them someplace else, but of all the accounts Sakuma's heard about being Ported out and then back in, none mention going somewhere else instead of home in the interim. Even he'd returned to the same point, just prior to their match with Argentina, which Kageyama had moved up...]

I was Ported out for a day last month. I went home and then came back. Nothing changed.

[Nothing at all. Which felt like both a blessing and a curse all at once. He didn't have any more answers than before. But he knew, at least, that sometimes there was something to go back to. Even if...if being back there meant not being able to remember any of this.]

[oceanthief]

You might have. It happens to a lot of people.

[they would leave and come back, only to find themselves changed. Lapis herself had just suffered through such an experience - the blank, ignorant eyes of Tara staring back at her swim to the forefront of her memory once more with an accompanying sting of pain.

other people had lives worth living. she knew that, as easily as she knew that it would never be such a case for herself. but the knowledge of alteration, of her own immutable fate, made it difficult for her to completely accept such an answer as enough to relieve her troubled mind.

perhaps this was worry. it's been so long since she felt it, an emotion almost as foreign as joy.]

[substrategist]

I haven't.

[The only things different are his powers, but those aren't changes he's willing to admit to, not publicly, and not to someone he knows too little about. Everything else really has remained just as it was. Both back home and here. Because how much can really change in the span of a day?

He is still exactly the same person...

Isn't he?

Upon his return to this world, Sakuma hadn't found that he'd forgotten anything about it or its inhabitants. He hadn't learned anything new about the world he came from, either. That meant that he was the same, right? Or...as much the same as he could be to the 'Sakuma' that hadn't been injected with nanites and given strange new powers by the AI in the Porter.

He frowns, suddenly very glad that this is text. He would hate for anyone to see the worry on his face or to be able to hear it in his next statement.]

The time line didn't, either. It was exactly the same as when I'd left. The point they'll return to is the same as the one they were pulled from.

[Is he trying to be consoling or just stating fact? He's not even sure, but he knows he wants very much to believe his own words. The future, as far as he knows, isn't bad for Kiyama or Ulvida. For them, being home is certainly better than being here. And they could play real soccer again, too.

Which meant the months they'd spent here would count for nothing. Would...vanish. One day wasn't much to account for, there didn't feel like any kind of loss at all, but months, even years...? Suddenly being unwritten. That's...

He doesn't want to think about what it is. What it could mean for the people still left here. But he knows he'll have to.]

[oceanthief]

[none of this is news to Lapis. she's been here long enough to have heard the spiel from multiple sources, many of them firsthand. the universe stood still for as long as a person was here - but this one continued revolving, whether they were present or not. all of this was just extra time.

but hadn't Sakuma told her that was wrong the last time they'd touched on that in conversation?

if people were preserved exactly as they'd been before coming into contact with the Porter, why did some of them return to this world changed? what governed that spark of recognition that ignited into full-blown recovery of memories long since discarded? what rubric was Lachesis using to decide who arrived a second time to begin with?

it's frustrating in the most painful way possible. all of these meaningless moments had somehow become more precious to her than she'd ever admit, and yet Lapis still had no control over them. she was still losing, and this time she couldn't even discern why.]

You can't be sure of that.

[of whether he'd changed, or whether things would play out the same as they'd always been meant to? Lapis isn't certain herself.]

I'm not


It's not good enough anymore.

[that answer. she can't accept that answer anymore, not when it continued to steal friends from her.]

video;

[juniberries]

[She's curious as to how this young woman got so close to the stars, but...]

We would have to travel farther than this world's technology would be able to take us to try to figure that out.

But...I do not think I would want to know what lies at the end of those paths. Most of what I'm familiar with in my own universe is long gone.

[oceanthief]

That happens. Sometimes it's better to know that there's nothing left, though.

[at least ruination meant that your memories were safe. better than returning to find that the place you'd loved best no longer had room for you.]

[juniberries]

[she looks away at that, trying to steel herself away.]

...it is a very lonely and isolating feeling. I would hardly consider it reassurance.

[oceanthief]

I'd rather that than know that everyone's left you behind.

[juniberries]

That-- [she stops herself short, holding her tongue. this is a sore topic, but it's not as though this blue girl knows.]

My entire planet was destroyed; my people, gone. Knowing that there's nothing left is not something I would wish on anyone.

[oceanthief]

My people destroyed me.

[for a moment her posture stiffens, chest thrown out in a quiet display of some intermingling of pride and anger. knowing what she does now, about the way that Homeworld had completely discarded her, she almost wishes at times that the planet really was as dead as the one in her memories. at least that would have kept Steven safe.]

When everything is gone, it means that there's a chance for a new beginning. Bits and pieces only chain you to the past.