text - absence makes the heart grow until it explodes

[h2no]

YO.

I KNOW THERE'S ONE THING A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REALLY WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE BECAUSE WE ALL GET IT: HOMESICKNESS.
I KNOW EVERYONE IS MISSING THEIR HOME AND THEIR FRIENDS. I'D BE SURPRISED IF THERE'S PEOPLE HERE WHO AREN'T.
NOT TO SAY IF YOU AREN'T THAT YOU'RE A WEIRDO, OF COURSE, I SUPPOSE YOU'RE JUST A BIT LUCKIER.
NOW, I'M NOT GONNA ASK YOU TO TELL ME ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU MISS OR THE PLACES YOU MISS. THAT WON'T HELP, IT'LL PROBABLY JUST MAKE YOU FEEL EVEN WORSE.
I AIN'T EVEN GONNA GIVE A BIG SPEECH ABOUT HOW WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER AND WE GOTTA TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT CRAP AIN'T GONNA HOLD UP.
BACK HOME I HAD A LARGE TEAM OF PEOPLE WHO VARIED IN AGES. A LOT OF THEM GOT HOMESICK AND WHEN IT OVERWHELMED THEM THEY WENT ON A DOWNWARD SPIRAL.
THING IS, IT'S REAL EASY TO LET IT OVERWHELM YOU.
MAKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING YOU MISS. EVEN IF IT'S SOMETHING YOU THINK IS SILLY, LIKE THE TREE THAT WAS NEAR WHERE YOU LIVED, OR A CAFE THAT DID THE BEST VERSION OF A FLAT WHITE COFFEE YOU'VE EVER TASTED.
ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF. EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT FROM EARTH. I GUARANTEE YOU THERE WILL BE SOMETHING HERE THAT IS SIMILAR ENOUGH IT'LL BE LIKE BEING AT HOME. EVEN IF IT'S JUST A GIANT ROCK THAT'S THE SAME SHAPE.
NOT TO MENTION GETTING OUT AND GETTING FRESH AIR ALWAYS HELPS.
DO STUFF YOU DID AT HOME. DON'T GET WRAPPED UP IN THE FACT THAT IT'S NOT THE SAME. YOU HAVE TO ADAPT TO HELP YOURSELF, THAT'S LIFE.
BUT THAT THE SAME TIME... DON'T SINK INTO IT. DON'T THINK OF NOTHING BUT WHAT YOU MISS.
IGNORING IT WON'T WORK, BUT NEITHER WILL DIVING INTO IT.
FIND A BALANCE.
DON'T LET IT OVERWHELM YOU.

Comments

[heliophilic]

[M is still learning what emotions are and how to deal with them.]

Then what's to say they might not change their minds?

[He pulls the shots even closer to him. Maybe a second round was a bad idea.]

[h2no]

Because they can, if they want.

[he shrugs.]

Sorry, bro. I gotta stop drinkin'.

[heliophilic]

[M takes one shot, followed quickly by another.]

You've got nothing to apologize for. If anyone should be apologizing it's me; I never know what to say in these situations. Interpersonal relationships are still a pretty new subject for me. I can see the odds of almost every situation, but logic goes straight out the window when emotions are involved. For example, I can give you the odds of your friends forgiving you based on what you told me, and even if that was all of the information I needed to make an accurate prediction, it wouldn't be a guarantee.

[He takes another shot.]

And I've got no idea how alcohol screws with emotions either. Can't get drunk.

[h2no]

Issat your power?

[archie makes a face. can't get drunk? bummer.]

[heliophilic]

My "power" is a fight computer in my head that lets me figure out how something will end before it even begins. Let me demonstrate.

[He arranges 7 empty shot glasses in a straight line in front of Archie. ]

Pick one, any one. But before you do... [He pulls a napkin closer to him and writes something down on it. He then folds the napkin in half twice and places it at the edge of the table, next to Archie.]

Go for it.

[h2no]

I'm bracin' to be amazed.

[he puts a hand on his beard, like he's seriously considering this. then he taps the right-handed end one.]

Boom. That's the lucky winner.

[heliophilic]

[M points at the napkin with his chin. Written on said napkin is the following:

"Amaze me."

Puts hand on beard. Appears deep in thought. Taps right-hand end shotglass.

"Boom. That's the lucky winner."]

1/??

[h2no]

[h2no]

That's amazing!! Can you see the future?

done

[h2no]

Or were you reading my mind? Because I thought about your butt earlier and I'm sorry!

[#drunkconfessions]

[heliophilic]

Hopefully good thoughts.

[As a fellow ass man he can appreciate such a confession.]

And no, no telepathy. I've got a computer in my brain that can run through the probabilities of every possible outcome of an action. I just picked what you were most likely to do.

[h2no]

Huh.

[he doesn't respond to the butt thing.]

Does it happen all the time or do ya choose to run it?

[heliophilic]

[Ah well. M leans back in his seat.]

All the time. I've had it long enough that I can more or less keep it at background noise-level until when I actually need it.

[h2no]

Sounds like a curse I'd want.

[a pause.]

Has... it ever been wrong?

[heliophilic]

I doubt you'd appreciate the cost.

[Ah damn, you just had to go and ask that question, didn't you. M downs the rest of the shots on the table, staring off at the corner of the bar before answering.]

Just before I got here, I was hunting someone that stole something valuable to someone important to me. I'd been on the trail for months, followed it halfway around the globe. Still, after everything I'd done to track them down--and trust me, it was a lot--I was still just playing defensive.

Then my boyfriend got a call that someone went after his father.

I make no effort to hide who I was, and Matt knew that going in. Hell, we met when I saved him from wannabe terrorists, doing my Midnighter thing. [He grimaces at that, wishing there was more alcohol to drink.] We figured whoever was after me saw him with me and went after his dad to mess with me.

We went to this sleepy town his father lived so I could get to the bottom of who the hell was stupid enough to go after Matt's father, and the minute I got there, something was off. Everything felt... clean. And I'm not talking tidy clean, I'm talking CSI crime-scene clean. Screwed the fight computer royally, but I'm not one to give up. After a violent chat with the neighborhood's... rougher element, I finally got my answer.

No one in the town was a real person.

They were created with one of the things that'd been stolen, one of the things I'd been trying to track down. I went back to Matt's house, took out the thing that was pretending to be his dad. Given the circumstances, he was suitably freaked. I took him in my arms and apologized for not seeing it sooner, told him that things would end painfully for whoever the hell was messing with me and dragging him into it.

That was about the time he chose to slide the kitchen knife in his hand through my stomach.

[The bartender swings by mercifully with more shots at that moment, M pausing long enough to take all of them in quick succession.]

Right after that was when I learned he was the one I was chasing all along. Months and I had no fucking clue.

[h2no]

[he listens intently, despite his tipsyness. archie's eyebrows draw together with sympathy.]

Oh. Shit, bro, I'm sorry. That's-- shit. Fuck.

[heliophilic]

So yeah, not infallible.

[h2no]

Mmmmnnn, yeah. Sorry I asked, bro. I thought the answer would be, uh. More like... fuck, I dunno.

[he thumbs the shot glasses awkwardly.]

You wanna go?

[heliophilic]

Like hell I'm going to let Matt ruin another second of my life. You want another round?

[h2no]

Ha! Good call!

[he winces slightly at that involuntarily, because he can only picture aqua admin matt. which is hard, because he knows matt wouldn't hurt anyone ever.]

Let's get something stronger, aye?

Crap never got this notif, feel free to ignore!

[heliophilic]

Aye.

[Much obliged, Archie.]