010 | CRAWFISH BOIL | ANONYMOUS TEXT

[infomodder]

Why don't fish like basketball? They're afraid of the net.
What fish can perform operations? A sTurgeon.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark.
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.
What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Have some one throw it at you.
Did you know the octopus is the only fish that can squirt ink? Just squidding.
Why don't fish pass their exams? Because they work below C-Level.
Why did the octopus cross the road? To get to the other tide.
How do shellfish get to the hospital? In a clambulance.
Did you hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt? Now he's a bronze fish.
Did you hear about the fight in the kitchen? A fish got battered.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A tunee fish.
What fish goes up the river at 100mph? A motor pike.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line.
Why did the fish go to Hollywood? He wanted to be a starfish.

[Yep. That's the post. Just a bunch of awful fishy jokes that are absolutely anonymous and no one can prove otherwise. However, his pool is limited...time to reach out.]

Your turn. Share your favorites, imPorts.

[Whether he means favorite fish jokes or favorite bad jokes is a mystery. Do your best worst, chums.]

Comments

text;

[reek]

Are you through?

ANONYMOUS text the most very anonymous

[infomodder]

I can be.

finally I can tag you

[reexamined]

Must they be about fish?

opens arms anonymously

[infomodder]

No. They can be about whatever you want.

Text

[dr_eldarov]

I am very sad all my jokes of this nature are in another language and don't translate in a funny way.

[These are the sort of Dad Jokes he absolutely made around his children well into their adulthood and he loves them all.]

anon text

[infomodder]

What language is that?

[anonymous text + thank you so much for this post]

[candor1]

Conductor: Children over the age of four need their own paperwork
Parent: My child is four
Conductor: He looks at least twelve
Parent: He worries a lot



Child 1: Which is closer, the next village or the moon?
Child 2: The moon of course - you can't see the next village from here



I couldn't sleep wondering where the sun had gone until it dawned on me



A crew are separated from their ship and make camp in a field
The captain wakes the rest in the middle of the night and says, "Look up at the stars. What do they tell you?"
The navigator: "We are currently near the equator."
The ambassador: "Their constellations reflect a matriarchal mythology."
The pilot: "The universe is larger than one being could ever explore."
The mechanic: "Somebody stole our tent."




Q: Why is sex terrible in hyperspace?
A: You can find the position or the momentum but not both at once

anon text

[infomodder]

Astronomical.

[hostage]

OK here's one: how's a fish like a dick?

[infomodder]

I don't know. How?

[acclimatized]

You should feel gill-ty about this post.

Thhhhhreadjack

[thevictoriandetective]

I will burn every last jumper you own if you attempt to make a pun that terrible again.

anon text

[infomodder]

You're krillin it already.

text

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

omgggg

all these fish puns are KRAKEN ME UP!

anon text

[infomodder]

[yes good]

Some are more fintastic than others.

[incogneto]

Do you find fish inherently funny?

anon text

[infomodder]

Some are funnier than others. Just like people.

[text]

[wordaday]

You forgot the best one!

What did the fish day when it swam into a concrete wall?

Dam!

anon text

[infomodder]

You're right! I bow to your exceptional skills.

text

[112ounces]

I could tell you a good rock joke but they are all Argon

anon text

[infomodder]

I like that

text;

[storyseeker]

I hate that you made me laugh at some of those.

anon text

[infomodder]

:'(

text;

[legionnaires]

This post was intense.

Like camping.

anon text

[infomodder]

You cannot run in a campground. You can only ran, because it's past tents.

text; username dh4z3

[nastygram]

is this u sharing these ur favs


bc all i sea are some bass-ic shitty puns

anon text in return!

[infomodder]

not big on bottom feeders?

text

[h2no]

THIS WAS ONIXPECTED.

[yall know what an onix is right]

anon text

[infomodder]

[cries]

onix...? oni?