maskormenace | VIDEO; Stop trying to eat your brother.

[Harley smiles and waves at the camera. The room is clearly not her own, for anyone that knows her. Too many books and not enough glitter. In fact, it seems rather Jonathan Crane-esque. That's because it is Jonathan Crane's home, where she's been crashing since the floods in Heropa. She has to speak a little louder than normal to be heard over the strange animal noises in the background.]

Hey, I'm back! And now I've got my sweetie pie big smelly babies with me, yes I do! Say hi, babies!

[She turns the camera to where the "babies" — two fully grown spotted hyenas — are intensely focused on something off-camera, with their tails up and teeth bared. One of them turns briefly to whoop at mommy, and then joins his brother to giggle and chitter toward the top of a bookcase.]

Aren't they just the biggest sillies? They can definitely bite your legs off though, so ask before you pet if you see 'em around. And speaking of biting things, uh...

[The view moves up and focuses on a dark lump on top of the bookcase. The lump is a cat, terrified out of his tiny mind.]

That's Wizkers Khalifa. He's a total sweetheart but really skittish, so I think he should be somewhere quiet where he's the only pet, or at least where nobody is trying to eat him. He's been my buddy for two years, so it's really important that I know he's in a good home, and I want to come over and see him from time to time.

Oh, there's Johnny. Hi, J— Nope, there he goes.

[The camera swings for a glimpse of Crane swiftly leaving the room, before moving back to poor Wiz.]

He's embarrassed of me. Anyway, let me know if you want to meet the cat. Sooner the better.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes! They have a lot of energy and are super social, so I'm making as many playdates as they can get.

Oh my god also I saw the hatching post and what the heck, Archie, why wasn't I here for that!

Aw, Harles. They went to Manabu and Adachi, so you can go see them in their care!

[he grins.]

Where do ya wanna meet? I'm free now.

Ew, you gave Adachi responsibility?

[Archie, she thought you loved animals.]

I need to get Wiz sorted out first, but I'm taking the boys on a tour this weekend. Get them used to using the porters, work off some energy.

May wanted to give him a chance... an' the puppy liked him, so.

[he shrugs.]

If it makes you feel any better, a Poochyena that ain't treated right would definitely bite the dick off its trainer.

I mean, I'm not against him having a pet, it's probably gonna be good for him, but if Poochyena are like when mine where young, well...

[She shrugs and shifts the view to the left, where Lou is chewing on her hair. In the background, Bud has gone back to pacing along the bookcase and grunting.]

This is them being good.

I'm personally against anythin' that makes the bastard happy, but details.

[he watches them, cooing.]

Ya know, I can't think of a better team for ya. No other animal on this planet suits ya better.

Of course they're perfect for me. They're my sweet baby boys! This one is Bud, and that's Lou.

[She indicates which is which. They are basically identical, but if anyone could tell them apart it's probably Archie]

Why do you have it out for Tohru so bad? He's a lot better than he used to be.