VIDEO; Stop trying to eat your brother.

[itistolaugh]

[Harley smiles and waves at the camera. The room is clearly not her own, for anyone that knows her. Too many books and not enough glitter. In fact, it seems rather Jonathan Crane-esque. That's because it is Jonathan Crane's home, where she's been crashing since the floods in Heropa. She has to speak a little louder than normal to be heard over the strange animal noises in the background.]

Hey, I'm back! And now I've got my sweetie pie big smelly babies with me, yes I do! Say hi, babies!

[She turns the camera to where the "babies" — two fully grown spotted hyenas — are intensely focused on something off-camera, with their tails up and teeth bared. One of them turns briefly to whoop at mommy, and then joins his brother to giggle and chitter toward the top of a bookcase.]

Aren't they just the biggest sillies? They can definitely bite your legs off though, so ask before you pet if you see 'em around. And speaking of biting things, uh...

[The view moves up and focuses on a dark lump on top of the bookcase. The lump is a cat, terrified out of his tiny mind.]

That's Wizkers Khalifa. He's a total sweetheart but really skittish, so I think he should be somewhere quiet where he's the only pet, or at least where nobody is trying to eat him. He's been my buddy for two years, so it's really important that I know he's in a good home, and I want to come over and see him from time to time.

Oh, there's Johnny. Hi, J— Nope, there he goes.

[The camera swings for a glimpse of Crane swiftly leaving the room, before moving back to poor Wiz.]

He's embarrassed of me. Anyway, let me know if you want to meet the cat. Sooner the better.

Comments

[ghoulking]

I don't think I wish to keep an animal, because I fear if being Ported out. Sorry but I can't help with that.

However.

Aren't there people with tigers as pets, tho? I think tigers are probably a lot more dangerous than hyenas. [ How does the law even work about that? ]

[itistolaugh]

I've got something set up for Wiz if I get ported out. An old coworker who isn't an imPort will take him in, and find him a new forever home if I don't come back in a couple months. There's a shelter in, uh, I think maybe Nonah? Somewhere. That'll pick up pets that are left behind after a port-out. So, y'know, something could be arranged.

Anyway, hyenas get a bum rap and people think they aren't as cool as tigers even though they're totally better.

[ghoulking]

It's good to plan ahead for when it happens, since we are all a bit temporary in this place. [ he knows a lot of people who have left their pets behind. In fact, not so long ago someone complained about that to the network. ]

I wouldn't have any, to be honest. [ he isn't... really a pet person, but wild animals as pets? That seems a bit over the top ] I only had one pet during my whole life and it was a bird.

How did you even get pet hyenas, back home?

[itistolaugh]

[She shrugs. Oh well, kitty, she tried.]

My, uh ... My ex got 'em. Thought it would be funny. He didn't really bother to put in the work, so they kind of became mine by default.

[ghoulking]

I'm sorry. [ about the kitty. ] I hope you find him a home rather than the shelter.

Aha- that seems... an interesting way of getting a pet. [ "stolen", he read it as stolen ] Still, the Porter really likes to give imPorts a hand sometimes - glad you got them here, too. [ she seems happy and LOOK if someone can have dragons, why not hyenas? At this point kaneki doesn't judge ]

[itistolaugh]

Oh, someone will take him. I've got a couple offers already, just no slam dunks. Anyway, I'm sure I can keep him uneaten for at least another day.

[ghoulking]

That's good to know. Probably keeping him in a separate room, meanwhile would work.

[itistolaugh]

Oh, they can break through doors.

[ghoulking]

[ .................. ]

Can't they destroy the furniture as well?

[itistolaugh]

Oh, they definitely can. But they won't, because they're good boys.

[ghoulking]

So they are trained. I'd imagine it's hard to train hyenas.

[itistolaugh]

Oh my gosh, you have no idea. There were a lot of casualties.

[She's joking! Right? That's almost probably definitely a joke.]

[ghoulking]

Ah- pet casualties or...?

[itistolaugh]

Sure. Yep. That's what I mean.

[ghoulking]

........ I'll try to believe that.