maskormenace | VIDEO; Stop trying to eat your brother.

[Harley smiles and waves at the camera. The room is clearly not her own, for anyone that knows her. Too many books and not enough glitter. In fact, it seems rather Jonathan Crane-esque. That's because it is Jonathan Crane's home, where she's been crashing since the floods in Heropa. She has to speak a little louder than normal to be heard over the strange animal noises in the background.]

Hey, I'm back! And now I've got my sweetie pie big smelly babies with me, yes I do! Say hi, babies!

[She turns the camera to where the "babies" — two fully grown spotted hyenas — are intensely focused on something off-camera, with their tails up and teeth bared. One of them turns briefly to whoop at mommy, and then joins his brother to giggle and chitter toward the top of a bookcase.]

Aren't they just the biggest sillies? They can definitely bite your legs off though, so ask before you pet if you see 'em around. And speaking of biting things, uh...

[The view moves up and focuses on a dark lump on top of the bookcase. The lump is a cat, terrified out of his tiny mind.]

That's Wizkers Khalifa. He's a total sweetheart but really skittish, so I think he should be somewhere quiet where he's the only pet, or at least where nobody is trying to eat him. He's been my buddy for two years, so it's really important that I know he's in a good home, and I want to come over and see him from time to time.

Oh, there's Johnny. Hi, J— Nope, there he goes.

[The camera swings for a glimpse of Crane swiftly leaving the room, before moving back to poor Wiz.]

He's embarrassed of me. Anyway, let me know if you want to meet the cat. Sooner the better.

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[One sec while he attempts to figure out this relationship.]

You are... roommates?

We're so much more than roommates.

Ah. How nice for you.

[Or weird, as the case may be.]

Yes, we're very happy together.

[ Crane is going to murder her for this. Worth it. ]

Does he know that?

There's nothing he doesn't know.

[He's a weirdo shut in nerd, but he's a genius weirdo shut in nerd, and she'll fight anyone who says otherwise.]

He is quite knowledgeable.

[Possibly even to the extent of being aware his girlfriend seems to be a few cherries short of a fruitcake.]

[Hey, she never said the g-word, but she does preen at Crane being praised as if she were a proud paramour.]

I don't expect others to understand our relationship.