[anonymous text]

[blackhat]

Need a furniture delivery made overnight, fewer questions you have the better.

I value your discretion.

[ Interested parties inquire within. ]

Comments

[quickfingers]

What's in it for the delivery boy.

[anonymous ∞]

[blackhat]

I'm open to negotiation.

[quickfingers]

Got anything more interesting than cash to offer?

[blackhat]

Depends on what you're looking for.

[quickfingers]

See, I don't know what I'm looking for. I like a little surprise, y'know? Money's just boring.

But hey, if you can't find anyone to move your thing - I can probably do it. And faster than anyone else.

[blackhat]

I sound like the wizard of fuckin oz to you? Best I can offer is to keep you in mind for more interesting work in the future.

You got a truck?

[quickfingers]

Haven't had to use one before
and unless your furniture is made of concrete and bigger than a pool table, it should be fine

[private anonymous ∞]

[blackhat]

It's a statue. Bronze on a concrete base. Haven't held a pool table up to it but it might be close.

[quickfingers]

I can probably still move it, it'll just be awkward.
I'll let it slide for a first time thing. Moves and lifts in the future gonna cost extra for this, a'ight?

[blackhat]

I appreciate the leniency.

[ Somewhere, the man in black rolls his eyes. ]

Last stop before it's in your hands is near the Porter. If you're game I'll send you the address.

[quickfingers]

Mysterious.

I'm still game, sure.

[neverdied]

Furniture or "furniture"?

[anonymous ∞]

[blackhat]

Could be the second one.

not even slightly anon in return

[neverdied]

Could be. Could also not be.

This furniture allergic to sunlight?

[blackhat]

Only until it gets to where it needs to be.

[neverdied]

Vampiric sofa?

[blackhat]

More like it's shy.

[neverdied]

What's so special about it?

[blackhat]

You plan on delivering it for me?

[neverdied]

Nope. Not a delivery man. Hire a U-Haul. Just want to ask unwanted questions.

[gentrify]

pay?

[private anonymous ∞]

[blackhat]

Worth your while. Final destination is De Chima. Weighs about half a ton, give or take.

How much you want?

[gentrify]

from heropa? i can work w that

depends
how much time am i lookin at if i get caught w it?
where's this rank 1-10, 1 being innocent but tasteful barcalounger and 10 being sofa stuffed full of coke?

[ which isn't a no if it's closer to the latter, and he doesn't want to know what it is, just how much risk charge should be applied. ]

[blackhat]

A 1.

Getting it where it needs to be without being spotted will be the hard part. Might require a little light landscaping.

Sounds like it might be a little innocuous for your operation.

Purely out of curiosity, what would it run me to move a 10.

[gentrify]

oh, shit, no problem
yeah i got u
wtf re: landscaping tho?

enough to rent me a passable moving truck + a team thats been through this kinda rodeo before + bribe cash in advance if cops happen + half payment up front
at least

[blackhat]

I found a kid to deliver the furniture, but I'll be in touch. Only a matter of time before I have something more sensitive on hand.

[gentrify]

[ quietly leaves out the part where he's only 19 but whatever ]

yea? keep the number on hand
gonna b opening up a shop p soon that might have sum useful tools
guns n shit etc got legit papers
but i got ways to find fancier shit if ur in the need 4 it

[buile]

how much
becuz as luck would have it i know personally the most beautiful man in the world who can fly anythin anywhere

[anonymous ∞]

[blackhat]

[ What?? ]

He got a helicopter?

[buile]

do you know aladdin and the magic flying carpet?
the same only it his ass that is magic and the flying carpet can be a flying anything he puts his ass on
very eco-friendly and cost effective

[blackhat]

Anything?

[buile]

sure that's what I said
intimated he could fly a fuck when I asked

[private anonymous ∞]

[blackhat]

How do I get ahold of this friend of yours?