maskormenace | 003

[The video opens on a taxi, broken down beside a Maurtia Falls sidewalk, and off in the periphery, someone in a hoodie quickly disappearing behind a corner. That's probably because of the neon-red stylized dick spray-painted on the side of the car, or the angry lime-green THIEF on the hood.

Only one is related to the fact that an imPort's driving this car. The other is not, there are other cars nearby that have also gotten dicks spray-painted in obnoxiously bright colors, though only the taxi has any additional graffiti.

The camera turns, and Han's shaking out his hand, the knuckles bruised up like he'd punched someone just a few minutes ago.]

And that's the third time in as many days I've gotten hit by someone who can't draw human body parts to save their own life. [Yes. That's what he's going to complain about. The fact that someone drew a dick on his car, and not the anti-imPort slogan. It is true, he is a thief, is he supposed to be offended by that?] Fine, I got the message: I won't leave my car unattended in Maurtia Falls anymore.

[A huff.] You'd think they'd at least know what it looks like, right?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You thought you could park there without someone messing with it, huh? Guess you could say you got cocky.

[Okay, he has to laugh. Even if he muffles it with his hand and turns it into a cough.]

Yeah, never let it be said I don't learn. [Dryly:] But I'm not the only one who got cocky. [Just going to turn the camera to all the other cars, also sporting penis-shaped decorations on their sides.]

[She saw that! She totally saw that!]

Wow. That's terrible! Those dicks are horribly drawn.

video;

carbonfrozen - 2017-08-27 06:12 (UTC) - Expand

storyseeker - 2017-08-27 06:17 (UTC) - Expand

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storyseeker - 2017-09-05 00:23 (UTC) - Expand

[ THANK GOODNESS THAT'S NOT HIS CAR... ]

What a ... dick move.

Real funny.

[He's actually being sort of sincere about it, a corner of his mouth turning upward in an amused, lopsided smile.]

Now I gotta clean it off. Again.

This isn't your first time with dicks on your car? Someone really must be trying to get a message across.

(no subject)

carbonfrozen - 2017-08-27 06:10 (UTC) - Expand

bookkeeper - 2017-09-01 01:22 (UTC) - Expand

carbonfrozen - 2017-09-04 13:56 (UTC) - Expand

bookkeeper - 2017-09-10 04:10 (UTC) - Expand

Shit luck, mate. The artist missing some teeth or you just taking it out on a wall?

Let's just say I improved the artist's nose.

[He punched him.]

He's not even the first one, just the one I caught.

[ With a bit of a laugh, ] Warranted.

Anything worse than a new paint job on anything?

carbonfrozen - 2017-08-26 06:56 (UTC) - Expand

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carbonfrozen - 2017-09-04 13:54 (UTC) - Expand

hardcut - 2017-09-05 02:49 (UTC) - Expand

It looks like art isn't their forte.

Oh, definitely not. I've seen Imperial propaganda drawn better than that. [A huff.] You'd think they'd have a better idea, right? Because this is just sad.

I'm going to assume it was a bloke who drew it and if it was, they really have no excuse. I mean, they must look in a mirror everyday. That looks like... I don't know, a misshapen muppet or something.

carbonfrozen - 2017-08-27 06:01 (UTC) - Expand

acclimatized - 2017-08-28 19:27 (UTC) - Expand

carbonfrozen - 2017-08-31 04:24 (UTC) - Expand

And the imPorts continue to be shafted by the native uprising. You appear to have put up some stiff resistance.

[Because we clearly need more dick puns here.]

It wasn't that hard. For one thing, I've got more experience than he did.

[...is that innuendo.]

He and others like him need to learn they can't dicktate to us.

carbonfrozen - 2017-08-31 04:32 (UTC) - Expand

They do have an obsession with body parts. They painted over the ears on the portraits at the art shop I work at.

So ears are offensive now, huh?

[Han's face softens, a little.] You all right? I heard about—well, this going around. [He waves to the THIEF on the hood of his car. He's all right with that, himself, he's pretty secure in the knowledge that he is a thief, but he's heard the reports.]

I think they're mocking me for only having one ear.

[She's too polite to ask if there's a reason they targeted his taxi in the way they did.]

I'm okay. It sucks, but it's just words and pictures.

video

carbonfrozen - 2017-08-31 04:40 (UTC) - Expand

am_i_a_monster - 2017-08-31 20:16 (UTC) - Expand

carbonfrozen - 2017-09-04 12:45 (UTC) - Expand

am_i_a_monster - 2017-09-04 19:36 (UTC) - Expand

Shit, mate. Looks like they had a boner to pick with you.

They've got a boner to pick with everyone, I ain't that special.

[Except he's the only one who got more graffiti on his car.]

I'd call it practice, but I don't see any improvement. You'd think you'd learn, right, drawing something on this many cars?

Yer' right, it seems a very...half-cocked effort.

carbonfrozen - 2017-08-31 04:46 (UTC) - Expand

heckblazer - 2017-09-04 05:26 (UTC) - Expand

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heckblazer - 2017-09-06 04:55 (UTC) - Expand

At least it doesn't make that much of a vans deferens to your ability to drive the thing, hopefully.

Nah, they didn't do much else. [A pause, then, distinctly grumpy:] They don't have to do much else.

[The amount of repairs he has to do on this thing regularly, yeesh.]

But I'm gonna need a new paint job. Can't exactly pick anyone up if I got shafted like this.

[video]

majorlyugh - 2017-09-07 00:31 (UTC) - Expand

Seems like you got dicked over by some kids with nothing better to do.

Me and everybody else on this block. [He's going to zoom out here so Jyn can see the penis-shaped decorations on the side of almost every car nearby. Noticeably, only Han's taxi has anything else besides a cock on the side.] I think they're trying to make a statement.

kestreldawn - 2017-09-05 19:24 (UTC) - Expand