O5 👶 [PERM]ANON TEXT; (CW VIOLENCE, RELATIONSHIP DYSFUNCTION)

[pillz]

[what is there to say? dr. chilton's handiwork has left kavinsky 2.0 with a penchant for creepy anonymous yammer. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

suppose the difference between love and attachment is the complication of the soul, which is not logical and sometimes not useful either

and it's the soul that recognizes kindred even across dimensions, between reincarnations, through illusions, despite spousal abuse. citation: every fairytale. the funny thing is, it's this way of love that we understand. what we don't get is why the fuck john never picks up the milk, why fred won't stop scaring you when you've told him it. isn't. funny. why gem won't say the l word. i guess, in real life, love is fantasizing about fire while you cough up smoke.

(i don't got a good metaphor for attachment. space heater? something useful. but i wouldn't be a monkey if i were you. small penises.)

when was the last time you asked someone to be your angel? what did they say?

would you nail their wings to the wall if it meant you could keep them?

i'm going to.

Comments

[permanon text]

[couldbebeautiful]

[She thinks, suddenly, of JD. I was meant to be yours—

She turns on anon, and types out the following with shaking fingers, looking around as if worried someone might be reading over her shoulder.]

Someone asked me to be their angel once. Not in those exact words, but it is pretty close.

They'd also just killed three people and wanted to kill more, so I broke up with them instead. I have limits, both for what I'm willing to tolerate and what I'm willing to do for them.

So, no, I guess I wouldn't. And love isn't just fire or smoke, it's [holding someone close and tight, promising to be better, keeping it, and Veronica's drink tastes bitter on her tongue] broken promises. Fighting for someone. I don't know, I'm not an expert, I just told you about my last relationship.

permanoning at permanon; (cw queerphobia)

[pillz]

girl,

/boy,

/person of some other hipster gender,

you was dating a weird person who made you a little bit cynical. love is fire, smoke, and broken promises. we got to have a swell of violin music in the background.

did you like the people they killed? was that your issue

[couldbebeautiful]

Classy.

No. God, the people who died were assholes, but that didn't mean they deserved to die. [But she does.] They were just kids, they could've turned out good. Or better than they were, but we'll never know now, I guess.

I'm going to regret asking this, but: Does the person whose wings you're going to nail to a wall get a say in this?

[pillz]

now we're talking about what people deserve
that's my favorite.
maybe they'll come back here in this world. you know people do that sometimes, right?

[on some doofy monstrous level, he's terribly pleased she's bothering to engage.]

not gonna lie, i only got preparation for if he says yes.
did you say no?

TEXT.

[bragnificent]

hell no I wouldnt
if they didnt want to stay its their loss
I'd let it go before I got all weird and desperate

[ He might be able to at least suspect who this is based on how their anon conversation ended up going the last time, but Reggie isn't one to sugarcoat things much. Whether it's because he thinks that perspective is straight up wrong or if he simply believes it'd be more humiliating than worth it, well. That's for just him to know. ]

the way u describe it, why would u even bother

permanon!!!

[pillz]

[no one ever accused kavinsky of getting away with anything in the end u no u no]

maybe maybelline was right
she's worth it

[i mean he's gay as the sun is yellow, but by now that part won't be difficult for reggie to figure.]

if it makes you feel better, i could probably make her weird and desperate too
would that even things out?

[bragnificent]

isn't it supposed to be "born with it"

[ Not that Reggie really knows from mascara. ]

I mean idk. probably not?
I guess it might depend on how tho
but hey don't go to any trouble on my account
I try not to judge

[pillz]

[it would appear that reggie knows enough.]

i'm feeling judged but that could just be my low self-esteem
are you too good to put it all on the line
or you just like being met halfway
or the creepy metaphors ain't your thing

text;

[neverdied]

What if they cut their wings off to get away from you?

[pillz]

i think i'd have a lot of arterial spray to track

maybe it'd bring us closer together
i'm just guessing, but i figure losing your wings changes a person
you know what i mean

[;(]

[neverdied]

Aiming for Stokholm Syndrome?

[pillz]

that sounds like a mean name for true love
don't you believe in true love

[rekt]

never bc the phrase 'will u be my angel' is corny enough id have to shame myself off the edge of the planet

[pillz]

don't shame allen ginsberg.

[there's a book in kavinsky's keeping— murphy might have seen it, the paperback of howl and its cracked spine, ginsberg's name on the cover.]

don't shame corny
don't you like to know what people want from you?

[rekt]

i dont know allen ginsberg

[ even if kavinsky has it, murphy's likely never read it. ]

corny deserves to be shamed
i like to know in straight forward terms
angel doesnt really mean anything

[pillz]

you don't have them where you come from?
bibles
japanese animations
do you know what an angel is

permanon text!

[wingsit]

[ ah yes, an angel metaphor tacked onto the end of a shady post about the strange futile desperate humanity of love. a nasty, abusive angel metaphor! love those. love :) those :)))) ) ) ) )))) ))) angel metaphors :))))) ) )) ) ) )) ) ) )

... it's been a hell of a week, so why not? why not. what better opportunity is there going to be to meaninglessly blow off some steam than playing with crossed wires that aren't that crossed and uncrossing them as she goes? she's only going to get herself into a state at best or a stupid circular conversation at worst (other way around?) but it'll feel good for the thirty seconds it takes to start feeling bad. ]

You've got to be careful turning people into angels. People aren't angels. There's not a lot of reason to stay put if the wings were never supposed to be part of you in the first place and fear of pain isn't going to keep someone still forever.

But hate is its own kind of fire if that is what you're looking for

[pillz]

[ ah but what do internet turd lords want if not for someone to engage. whether about angels or something else.]

i think i'm pretty shit at being careful, but i'm gonna take this into consideration
are you saying the only thing people are good for is hating
that's pretty dark, sweetheart

[wingsit]

[ let's call it mutual profit for the..... five minutes max she's got until her credit goes bad ]

No I'm saying if you turn them into something they're not so you've got something prettier to look at when you damage them into captivity they're probably going to hate you for it. Especially if they end up having to tear themselves free

[pillz]

hmmmm
i recognize your logic, sweetheart.
a lot more factual than anything allen ginsberg was getting at, but i like it
i don't need prettier
did someone you know want > prettier?
that what they did?

anon text

[am_i_a_monster]

All love is different. Sometimes, it's really different.

Like a guardian angel? Someone was supposed to be my guardian once. It ended in the worst way. I doubt anyone would have dared to come at him with nails.

Are you on something?

nonny text;

[pillz]

i wasn't thinking about a guardian angel. gonna be honest with you, i don't think i bring that out in people
but now that i think of it, maybe i did just lately
what happened to your guardian, sweetheart?
and no
i'm sober as a whistle

[am_i_a_monster]

What do you normally bring out people?
My guardian killed me.
I bring that out in people.

Did you just get dumped?
Whose wings are you going to nail?

[pillz]

i used to bring out hate in people. once, i tried to get someone to kill me, but i was bound for disappointment
i used to bring out disappointment in people too.
these days i bring out wings. that's the goal, anyway.
:)

no, i got the opposite of dumped.
do you want to hurt your guardian now?

2/2

[pillz]

& twice as clean