maskormenace | 1 💣 VIDEO.

[ The feed turns on to show a blonde, mustached man in a white dress shirt — the sleeves rolled up to his elbows — and blue tie, currently attempting to juggle holding his communicator, lighting a cigarette, and holding his suit jacket in place (slung over his shoulder) all at once, because these are all clearly equally necessary tasks. When he speaks it's with a twangy Southern accent — recognizable as West Virginian to those who would — seemingly not all that perturbed by his situation. Maybe just slightly inconvenienced, but that's all. ]

So… I guess this is pretty weird, but let's be honest— while I may barely know of any of you, I feel like I can still speak for most of us when I say things could easily be weirder. Personally if anything, I feel like it was only a matter of time before I ended up in some alternate dimension... it's like eventually you just reach that stage in life when everything else crazy's pretty much already happened to you, so all you can say is, "Sure, why not?" Makes perfect sense. [ That might just be sarcasm. Although maybe not? An even mixture, probably. ] But the best part is—

[ This is about the point where Ray proves why it can be dangerous to record yourself and walk, because as he starts to cross the street the video suddenly bounces, his communicator flying as he is struck hard by a car, shattering the windshield before he's tossed off the vehicle with a shriek. Oh, not a car; the screen shortly reveals that it was, in fact, an ambulance. Ray can be heard yelling, cursing, and making all sorts of noise as then the ambulance bumps over something -- maybe the curb or maybe Ray himself -- as it moves to pull over. Audio somewhat muffled, he shouts after it: ]

Jeezus! Y'all call that driving?! [ Then, pained and more to himself: ] Dukes. Well that's gotta be some kinda record. But maybe pain's a good sign in this case... okay--

[ He groans from still-mostly-off-screen, straining as he tries to determine if he can still move his legs, let alone get up. ]

Oh, wow, they still work!

[ After Ray's gotten back up to his feet he reaches for his communicator again with his singularly gloved hand, looking surprisingly pleased for a man who was just in a traffic accident. And whose face is bleeding and lacerated by glass, some shards still stuck in it. In the background: sirens, so he's gonna walk... as quickly as he can away from the crash site. ]

All good! I'm good, it’s all good, just a little— [ He cracks his back, hissing in mild discomfort, then exhaling in harsh relief. ] Whew. That's better. Boy though, could that have been ugly… especially since that ambulance sure isn't going anywhere in a hurry now. Some welcome wagon.

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[ Ray raises one eyebrow slowly in return, but then both of them shoot upward. ]

Oh! No! No no no no, not like-- I mean it's not just Jewish movies, d'you know how old I was when I finally saw a movie with a gay person in it? And then he died at the end. [ A beat. ] Although it was still a pretty great movie.

Are those common too, here? Films about gay people?

[The phrasing sounds just a little awkward in his mouth; it's not one of the commonly-used terms of his day.]

No. I mean there are a few, but... [ He rolls his shoulders in a shrug. ] Most of the really famous ones are either awfully tragic or awfully stupid. Or both.

Guess I can't be too picky, though.

Why can't you?

[Alfie's pretty sure he'd be picky, in his shoes.]

Well, because-- [ ... Actually, that's a good question. ] Still a helluva lot better than nothing.

Mm.

Make stuff of your own, then. Couldn't that be done?

I'm sure it could, but... ehhhh, I've bitched about it enough already. My point being mostly that while there may be a whole lot of miserable movies out there, there's still at least a few brilliant exceptions.

[ He feels a little awkward about going off on such a tangent, but it's nothing he can't get over now that the subject's been hastily changed back again.

And on that note, a thought occurs: ]

Hey, y'know, if they have the movie here then that'd probably also mean that they put the show on sometimes, too. And if they do then you should totally go see it live!

I'd like to see the film first, and see how it's done. Was it made by Jews or gentiles?

Oh... I dunno, actually. Probably a-- [ He pauses. ] Uh, a combination of both?

Really.

[More surprise!]

Mm. Can't imagine something like that happening in my time.

Yeah, that is pretty nice, huh? Nice to know that it's possible, anyway-- I guess I don't really think as much about just how much things have actually improved from how they used to be anymore. Which is silly, cuz plenty of it I was alive for, but...

[ Things still ain't great now, but he for one is extremely glad not to have been alive during the 20s, all things considered. ]

Mm, all this gay rights stuff is that new, then? Ten years old, twenty years old, that sort of thing?

Oh yeah, we couldn't even really get married yet back when I was still a preacher... which is ironic, I know. But hey, that's progress for you.

It makes you wonder what's next, eh?

Sometimes, yeah... although honestly, I try not to think about it too much if I can help it. Like I dunno why, I just-- I guess I just can't really picture it.

You think things have gone far enough?

No, it isn't that. But I do think... [ He pauses to consider how to put this thought into words. ] Well, I don't really have any expectations one way or the other. I sorta feel like with any progress you either get it at a snail's pace, or it's so quick you never really get used to it. Makes it kinda hard to speculate much on anything.

I'm not used to it.

[His tone isn't exactly critical, but still, it's blunt.]

Can't say it bothers me much, but it's very odd to me, seeing it open and accepted in public.

Oh, uh... [ He pauses. ] Well, I'm used to that... and it's just sort of whatever. Most people seem to just figure it out right away without me even having to tell them anything, so there's not a lot I can do about it.

Anyway, you're fine. There's people I've known for years who're still super weird about it, so... [ Another pause. ] Is it like, a religious thing for you? Or...

Nah. It's just not a habit that's commonly talked about in my day.

And usually for good reason. But uh-- we don't have to either, not really that big a deal. Like anybody else, I know the value of a personal life that's actually personal.

[ And he doesn't have much of one to speak of, anyway. ]

Sure, yeah. I wasn't planning to ask questions, mate; don't worry about that. But it's funny how often it does come up, even when specifics aren't discussed. It's a part of everyday life, here.

Oh, I'm not really worried. [ Said with something of a laugh. ] I mean I doubt I have anything interesting to tell you even if you did wanna ask me something, so...

[ But he pauses. ]

But even more than that, I guess now so are superpowers. Still dunno how I'm gonna get used to that one.

Have you got anything interesting? I can do stuff with food, if you can believe it. Turn things into bread.

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video; cw: vague casual homophobia

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