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[garotted]

So I need a job. I don't do the government thing, and it seems like Magnus has been an open fucking book about who we are, so you may as well know that I'm another dead teenage Viking warrior or whatever he's been telling people.

I'm probably stronger and tougher than you are, and I'm known for kicking ass first and asking questions later, so unless interns battle to the death for their positions here, office-work is probably right out.

I'd rather work for another imPort. I don't have a specific place I'm staying, so I can go anywhere if I have to.


Also, camping supplies stores, anyone know a good one?

Comments

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[dendarii]

...

I've not heard of any dead teenage Viking warriors until just now. In fact, I'm not sure what a Viking is.

[garotted]

You're one of like five then.
A Viking is a warrior from a planet called Asgard. We wear big spiky armor and most of us have laser-swords. We're usually between six and eight feet tall, but I'm on the smaller side and a carry a garotte instead. We ride these things called womprats into battle, but obviously mine isn't here.

[dendarii]

[ Oh. That sounds promising, actually. Also terrifying. ]

And you're looking for a job? ... Would you consider a bodyguard position?

text;

[redhott]

omg you guys are vikings??

also hello again :3

Text; UN: D33

[d33tached]

[Oh, good. More dead teenage Viking warriors - this one with a little less charm, it would appear, or at least intrigue.

["Probably stronger and tougher than you are" - oooh, he's shaking in his boots.]

You're a friend of Mr. Chase, then, I take it.

[Text] - pls lemme know if you wanna opt out of this awful chatspeak

[versusseeker]

ur ded?

[?!?!?!!??!]

[garotted]

[ ... this guy really believes her..
oh well. ]

Yes and maybe. I can't hang around and babysit anyone all day, I already have Magnus. How long would shifts be?

[dendarii]

[ Look, there are a lot of weird people here. It's entirely possible. ]

Evenings, mostly. I'm safe enough during the day. And if Magnus is as capable with laser-swords as you are, then I'd be happy to offer him a job too.

[garotted]

No, I was being sarcastic.
We're Norse though, so that's close enough.

Hey. Thanks for lunch the other day.

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[h2no]

YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY ABOUT THIS?
I KNOW MAGNUS BUT HE'S NEVER MENTIONED BEING A DEAD VIKING WARRIOR.

THAT BEING SAID I HOPE YOU DON'T WANT CAMPING SHIT TO LIVE IN THE WOODS PERMANENTLY.

[garotted]

Only about fifty percent of that was true. Asgard's more like an alternate plane of existence, I actually live in Valhalla, we definitely don't ride womprats, and mostly we use regular swords.
I am, however, smaller than the average dead viking and about ten-thousand times angrier, so woe to thy enemies etc.
I'll run it by him. Who're you, anyway? You sound suspiciously important and government-y.

[garotted]

[ hey, it's facts, pal, not an arm-wrestling contest. ]

Woah, buddy, don't throw the f-word around so casually.

asldkjf no worries

[garotted]

See-through, too.

[dendarii]

Ah, disappointing. A sword will still do, though. And I guarantee you that you are still taller than me.

[ At 4'9", Miles is shorter than pretty much everyone. ]

Correct on both points. I'm the Ambassador for Nonah, actually. Lord Miles Vorkosigan.

[d33tached]

Enemies, in that case?

[garotted]

It was only a matter of time. I like to head things like this off at the pass.
Is your caps-lock broken or what?

[h2no]

NO, MY POWERS JUST GROW EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS WHY I TYPE IN ALL CAPS.
YOU GONNA ANSWER THE QUESTION?

[garotted]

So it's one extreme or the other?

[garotted]

I didn't ask why, so do your powers go flaccid if someone doesn't?

Nope.

[d33tached]

[Apparently not.]

What exactly would you classify your relationship with him to be, then?

[In other words: you tell me, Alex.]

[h2no]

YEAH. FLACCID. THAT EXACT THING.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT TO STOP ME INTERFERING?
NO OFFENCE BUT I DON'T REALLY TRUST THE WORD OF MOST OF THE EDGY TEEN IMPORTS THAT COME IN.

[versusseeker]

[Woah.]

is that ur pwr?

[Being see-through, not dead-- Speaking of which:]

r u ok?

[In what is possibly the stupidest question you'll be asked today. Look, he's just looking out, okay?]

[garotted]

This isn't a height competition, I'm just saying that you shouldn't expect a giant hairy warrior. At least, most of the time.

That sure sounds like something I don't want to get involved in.

[garotted]

I don't.
How do you know him?

[garotted]

[ what is this. ]

No, I have laser eyes and I sing perfect Italian opera.

[ this is too Pure. ]

I'm fine, thanks for asking. Just dead.