LUNAR INTERLUDE 1: VIDEO; ID is blank

[journalkeeper]

[ On screen is a middle aged woman rocking the modern/50s mashup aesthetic of this world in a very dignified and elegant sort of way. She sits in the deck chair of the backyard of Maurtia Falls #4 like it’s a throne. ]

It’s been roughly a month since I’ve arrived in this world -- I realize some of you may be newer and, uh, quite a few of you have been here for some time. In the month since I’ve arrived, I’ve learned a lot about this world, but I feel as though I’ve only just scratched the surface.

[ She pauses, thinking carefully over her next words. ]

The people native to this world either seem to put us on a very high pedestal, almost to the point of worship -- or we’re hated and viewed as a danger to the people here, with little sentiment in between. None of us asked to be here, I understand that, believe me. But for most of them? Neither did they. Even if we don’t, uh, become ‘heroes’, we have a responsibility not to make things worse at the very --

[ She jumps, stopping mid-sentence very abruptly, and looks down at something not visible on camera. Then she pinches the bridge of her nose, takes a deep breath, turns towards Maurtia Falls #3’s direction and: ]

TAAKO! Taako, please come get Taylor Swift off my leg!

She's just showing affection! Or trying to eat you. [ A pointy wizard hat and giant blond ponytail block the camera for a minute, before he extracts the giant black snake from his boss's leg. ] We're still kinda working on that. [ He peers into the camera. ] Is this thing on? Do any of you know anything about training snakes?

I could probably train a snake. I’ve got Animal Handling, you know, [ Magnus says for what must be the fiftieth time since Taako’s known him. Magnus is, naturally, in the background, climbing over the fence instead of just going through the goddamn door for no apparent reason other than the fact that he’s big enough to do it pretty easily and he doesn’t like being left out when everyone else is hanging out without him. There’s a creak from the fence. ]

Hey, your fence is kinda shitty, just for the record. I can fix it later. Anyway, I got some shit from the dollar store. [ He hurls two pairs of shutter shades at Lucretia and Taako, in blue and green respectively, before donning his own red pair. ] Now you can look super cool while you ask everyone about… uh… [ He leans over Lucretia’s shoulder to peer into the camera, all up in her personal space. ] What are we talking about?

[ Lucretia just barely catches the thrown shades, fumbling them a little in surprise. She absolutely does not put them on, though. Mild exasperation is coming off her in waves. ] As much as I appreciate the, uh, gift, Magnus, I was addressing the Network over a matter of some importance -- [ She pauses, as if realizing the futility of trying to continue with these chucklefucks getting all up in her business. She should cut her losses before any further affront to her dignity. ] But congratulations, it's now about snakes. Yes, snakes. Someone on this thing please tell Taako to put his in a tank, won't you?

((OOC: Blue is Lucretia, Green is Taako, Red is Magnus!))

Comments

[shittywizard]

TayTay can't and won't be contained like that, a fact which I don't know why you all have such a hard time remembering.

[ He is absolutely wearing his shitty new shutter shades even though they are the wrong shade of neon green for his complexion. ]

video

[hellosirs]

I think it's less 'remembering' and more 'hoping', sir. Can you really see out of those glasses?

[ he's still in his room, video chat works better than yelling out the window! ]

[burlyboy]

Okay, but what if I built her a really nice hutch? Five star treatment, I swear. Then she could leave the Director alone. And leave Alf alone.

video;

[picksthenames]

I would have figured Britney Spears for a good snake name over Taylor Swift, but I guess that's kind of an old reference, huh?

[journalkeeper]

Don't suggest other names, it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility that he gets a second one to complete the set.

video;

[shittywizard]

Yeah, I wanted a more current, hip name for her. Plus, please, look at her.

[ He holds the snake up for the camera. ]

Does she look like a Britney to you?

video

[h2no]

At the risk of dipping into moral absolutism in regards to this situation: this shit sure is whack.

[also, snakes.]

[journalkeeper]

I believe that is an accurate description of the situation, yes. This shit is very whack.

video

[burlyboy]

There's nothing whack about this! We're just being neighbourly.

Video

[viced]

Next time? I would recommend giving any...deep subjects a closed room.

Where nobody can disturb you.

[journalkeeper]

A lesson well-learned, I think. [ She sighs a little. ] I'll have to find an appropriate venue.

Video

[burlyboy]

I mean, she could've gone on with her speech after we'd arrived. I did ask what we were talking about!

video

[jojoceanman]

[he came here for the message about being good people who don't ruin people's lives, but stayed for the snake adventure.]

What kind of name for a snake is Taylor Swift? Is it because it can move fast on land?

[feels like there's a joke to this he isn't getting.]

[journalkeeper]

Hopefully Taako will answer that for you because it certainly isn't how I'd name it.

[shittywizard]

The best name, obviously? She does move pretty quick when she wants to, though.

video

[burlyboy]

Taako named her. My personal vote would be for Beatrice.

Video

[drivesadesk]

Aw, she's just looking for warmth.

[journalkeeper]

Yes, well, I do wish she would look for warmth somewhere that isn't my leg.

[shittywizard]

In all the wrong places!

Re: Video

[burlyboy]

I'm pretty sure she's also looking for food, but the Director's a little too big for her to chomp down on.

Though she is a pretty big snake...

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

It really depends on the country. In this country, there aren't that many people who hate us, comparatively to the rest of the world, if we are being honest. [ it's the others that worry kaneki, not the USA citizens who are frustrated at all the shenenigans imports cause ]


Is it even legal to have a snake that big? [ well... some americans have tigers so maybe it's not. ]

[journalkeeper]

I was there at the pet store when he bought it so I should hope so. Whether or not it should be legal is another matter entirely.

[ She sounds so Done. So, so very Done with this. ]

I admit I hadn't considered how the places outside this country are effected. Do you mind elaborating...?

video

[fehus]

I dunno, it sounds like that Animal Handling guy's got it covered.

What do you want to train a snake to do, anyway?

[journalkeeper]

Magnus has got it covered if he rolls well, perhaps.

[Video] ty for giving me a reason to use this icon IC

[halloflamer]

Nice shades, hahaha!

[Says the guy with black ones pushed up into his hair. Inside.]

BLESS

[burlyboy]

Matching shades!

[ Magnus points to his shades. What a good day this is. ]

I knew you had good taste!

ACTION

[bassackwards]

[ The quiet muffled sound of crappy bass guitar from upstairs stops, and Mae flings her bedroom window open and pokes her head outside. ]

The colossal yard snake is back! [ DELIGHTFUL! ] Oh and you guys too!

[burlyboy]

Wrestling buddy! I didn't knokw you lived here!

[ He holds one hand out for a high five. ]

Up top.

[voice]

[14words]

I'm afraid you can't quite train a snake so much as tame them, though I suppose my knowledge of snakes is limited to my universe. Perhaps your snake is more intelligent than the snakes I know. [fantasy snakes, very likely a thing]

[in saying that his device suddenly makes a loud sound like it was smacked to the floor by something. there's a sigh from pucci and a rustling as he picks it up again.] Apologies. Snakes aside, I'd be very interested in hearing more about our responsibilities and the natives. I've only just arrived.

[voice]

[burlyboy]

I'm not sure if she's all that smart, but I dunno how to tell.

[ Was the Director talking about responsibility? That sounds like her. Always the dutiful one, even when they're technically on vacation. ]

Okay, so, last month-ish? Two months ago? They made a bunch of clones of us and they completely wrecked shit. Sooooooo the natives aren't liking us so much now. Even if it wasn't us who did it, there were people wearing our faces doin' it. Which sucks, but... what can ya do.