[TEXT; 01]

[dazain]

Did you know that if you try to go out into the ocean wearing all your clothes and without knowing how to swim you'll get in trouble for it?
Unbelievable, isn't it??
a young lifeguard just lectured me as if it was her morning that was inconvenienced!
Some people, you know??

...she didn't even rescue my glasses… (੭ ˃̣̣̥ ㅂ˂̣̣̥)੭ु

Anyway
while she was dragging me back to land i got to thinking about how different cultures each have their own idea of normalcy...
a normal breakfast
or average job
or expected beach laws
And they're probably even more unique when we're talking different worlds.

SO! What are popular suicide methods where you're from?

oh, i guess I should say this poll is only for adults.
Children should go play on the beach or something.

Comments

permatext

[deadtective]

Shotgun in the mouth, I think. Carbon monoxide if you wanna be private about it.

Why, looking for tips?

[dazain]

that 1st one sounds like something an american would do
are you American?

and hmmMM...mmm...
more like... inspiration?

[deadtective]

Nominally, I guess.

[however much one could claim citizenship ship after being designated legally dead, anyway.]

You wanna get inspired, go stick your face in some Romantic-era literature. Those fuckers loved talking about how beautiful your suicide could be.

[driftsintobuffetline]

you know, this post went exactly where I expected it to go,
but halfway through I thought "no way in hell it's actually going there" but it did, and it was a trip, istg

standing under a kaiju's foot is usually an effective one

[dazain]

well I didn't want it to sound like a total non sequitur

also ew
that sounds way too messy
are there any even kaiju big enough around here?

[driftsintobuffetline]

i could totally smoosh a guy if I wanted to, ok
i could

not that I want to because yeah, talk about messy
but i totally could

but suicide by nature is very messy. don't think it's glamorous. it's not

text

[honorobble]

I fail to see the connection between the rules of a beach and the need to know how people kill themselves.

[dazain]

oh
really?

it made sense to me
ヾ(´･ ･｀｡)ノ”

[honorobble]

I can assure you, it does not.

What language is that? The shape with the dots?

[ text ]

[ghoulking]

Were you trying out the nanites powers?

[dazain]

i mean
if that pamphlet and everything else is to be believed
that would be the result, wouldn't it?
＼| ￣ヘ￣|／

i'm a bit annoyed to be honest...

[ghoulking]

You wish to die?

[text; anonymous]

[couldbebeautiful]

Drain cleaner, suicide pact, jumping off a bridge, blowing yourself up in a football field.

[The first two were faked, the third survived (and thank god) and the fourth—well. Veronica's here now, isn't she.]

Also, yes, it's generally pretty inconvenient for a lifeguard if they have to drag some asshole who can't swim back to shore.

Why do you want to know all this anyway?

Re: [text; anonymous]

[dazain]

drain cleaner tastes way too bad
a suicide pact is a good plan but not a method inof itself
i fully support that idea, though!
jumping off a bridge... i always seem to survive that one
I haven't tried that last one, though!
is it important it be a football field?
does it have to be american football?
if there's an explosion i bet it's american football

and she could have just left me out there is my point

obviously i'm asking so that i can kill myself

[text; anonymous]

[couldbebeautiful]

They shot each other.

And it's important because it keeps you from killing anyone else.

[Oh. Hoo, boy.]

Her job is to do the exact opposite of that. If she let you drown on her watch, she'd be fired.

For someone who wants to kill themselves, you're surprisingly picky about suicide methods.

text

[h2no]

I'M NOT GIVING YOU FUCKING IDEAS WHAT THE FUCK

[dazain]

oh
why not?

[h2no]

i'm not going to do you the disservice of giving you a big speech about how people care about you and the value of life and stuff when i'm a total stranger but
if you do it you'll just come back
it's not permanent here

i mean and also it's not the answer and all that, but the coming back thing makes it especially not an answer

[pummelgranite]

Slit wrists is always a classic.
Or falling from a willow tree into a brook and drowning.
Or singing a song that's so fucked up you're set upon and ripped to pieces by a band of wild women. Super into this one tbh.
Oh! Dress super slutty and hang out in a field of narcissus to see if a death god will kidnap you.
Last one's kinda 50/50 tho.
I also hear that if you're honest with a doctor regarding your intrusive suicidal ideation, you'll die instantly.

[dazain]

tried it
tried it
HAVEN'T tried it
do you need to be a particularly good or particularly bad singer for the third one?
I think I might be too mediocre...
fourth one sounds like how you catch a ride to the underworld
which
while terribly romantic
is not what I'm after
the fifth, i'm afraid to tell you
is just an old wivestale
if it was that easy to get doctors to help you die I'd have shuffled off his mortal coil ages ago

[pummelgranite]

Gotta be SUPER good at singing, sorry to say.
This sounds like a real problem for you.
Are you just naturally bad at dying or is this some kind of Thing?

text

[tropism]

That's an odd question to ask. I think it'd be overwork, or something related to the gangs, or love affairs ending badly.

What's your favourite? Least favourite? [ method of dying, that is. ]

[dazain]

suicide by overwork is definitely one of the worst ways to go
in fact, now that you've made me think about it, that's my answer to number two
for one, i'm still deciding!
but right now I really like the idea of a double suicide with a beautiful woman
and i always thought drowning sounded particularly nice

you?

[tropism]

Overwork will be the likely cause. Sacrifice will be the actual turnout. I'm quite the romantic.

Why is this your concern at the moment?

[am_i_a_monster]

The idea of normal can be unique to families too.

Were you suicidal?