[video] little shop, little shop of horrors

[driftsintobuffetline]

[Newt is walking around a halloween store. Having adorned and readorned himself with some of the props along the way, he's now wearing a aviator's hat with goggles on his head, so with his glasses on, he looks a bit like the child-version of Carl from Up. It's highly unclear if he intends to even buy the hat. But he's wearing it, because Newt has to touch and try on EVERYTHING.

You bet he's pushed every since TRY ME button in this place, tested ever demo jumpscare, and contemplated how to make every single prop more authentic and scarier. He can't NOT.]

There has to be some seriously NON-LAME couples costumes in existence. I mean, right? A pair of adults wearing costumes to a party or something--wherever we end up going, or whatever, on the 31st--like, two adults in thematically matching costumes is not, by default, a stupid-ass lame thing. Right?

So then why are all of these so incredibly STUPID?

[A broad gesture takes in packaging for commercially made costumes as he passes by the display. He grabs one for emphasis and pushes the phone's camera toward it dramatically.]

Ketchup and mustard? Plug and socket? They're not even FUNNY? I'm dying over here from the sheer lack of thought put into what has to be one of the most creativity-encouraging holidays in the history of mankind--don't quote me on that--but seriously??

[He stops, distracted by tower of jugs of blood on display, and turns a critical eye to them before snubbing it.]

Please. That doesn't even LOOK real.

[And back to looking at the camera in his hand, wearing the sly, boyish grin of a man who sees something very shiny, wants it, and knows he'll be sleeping on the couch if he buys it.]

A fog-machine is a great investment for any homeowner, right?

Comments

voice;

[mathemagier]

Getting ahead of yourself, are you? We haven't even been invited to anything of the sort. As well, I'm not so sure about the appeal of matching costumes, particularly if they're all that terrible.

We also have no need for a fog machine.

voice;

[driftsintobuffetline]

We do. If you recall, you promised me years and years of decorating our house for holidays and we now have a house, so suck it, man.

And what do you mean? You matched with me at Miles's party last year. What, do you not want to look like we belong together? I'm hurt.

Voice;

[mathemagier]

[sigh]

I suppose.

Our costumes weren't nearly so awful and caricature as all that last year.

Voice;

[driftsintobuffetline]

We were pretty awesome.

Re: Voice;

[mathemagier]

I'll have to pass on facial hair props this year.

( text )

[garotted]

That's what you get with ready-made costumes.
You can always do your take on historical figures or movie/book/comic/game characters.

( text )

[driftsintobuffetline]

I was mainly looking for ideas. Last year, we did Mythbusters, but like...no one knew what we were. I was hoping something would spark, because a. I'm hipster but not so hipster I don't want people to GET IT and b. my nerd is going to have to be coaxed into a costume, so I've gotta decide early.

[garotted]

What the Hel? Uncultured swine around here, who doesn't know Mythbusters?

What about something like 80s horror movie antagonists?
Or Disney? Disney's classic.

[driftsintobuffetline]

I know, right? Some of these other universes just suck

He's probably going to nix something with a ton of makeup, so horror is out. He got tired of his mustache last year.
Now how do I convince him to be my Disney Princess?

[garotted]

Just tell him he can do a prince version if he's not down for cross. How nerdy is he? You can probably pull some bullshit about a historically accurate version of Disney. Or steampunk/cyberpunk/etc Disney.

video

[am_i_a_monster]

I'm kind of glad the fake blood doesn't look real. There's enough stuff around here to trigger bad memories already.

You could always make costumes.

Re: video

[driftsintobuffetline]

I. Guess. But let me just say, as someone who has worked with the real deal, it's very, very disappointing. And their mad scientist gizmos would make Tesla cry. So sad.

I could. I probably will. But I like to scout what's on the market and then mock it.

What're you going to be?

video

[am_i_a_monster]

I haven't decided yet.

[She leans in closer, looking at the shop he's in.]

I know I won't be going as a...sexy goldfish?

[She points to a costume behind him]

That's a thing?

video

[driftsintobuffetline]

[He laughs, then leans in, lowering his voice.]

There's a sexy anything. I think I saw sexy corn.

video

[am_i_a_monster]

Sexy corn?

[She giggles.]

That's so wrong. On so many levels.

VIDEO.

[handycapable]

Sorry, but no. Every single couples costume where you're not just going as a classic couple from book, stage or screen is all but guaranteed to be tacky beyond belief.

[ He pauses for consideration, then adds: ]

Also, really depends on what you'd be using the fog machine for.

VIDEO.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Tacky I can get behind, but these are just cheesy and not in a good way.

As for the fog machine, what won't I be using it for? Maybe a grand entrance. Though I was specifically thinking about a mad scientist lab and maybe a spooky graveyard for the failed but undead creations.

text;

[pillz]

michaelangelo and boy muse.
obama and biden.
proton and electron.
how's it hanging, newt?

text;

[driftsintobuffetline]

wouldn't want to steal your costume, dude
he does have the obama ears...and i'm the cool one like biden
as long as i'm the proton because he's the negative one

don't ask me that. im trying to keep this pg
but it's good
getting into any new kinds of trouble lately?

[pillz]

prosthetics is where it's at, man! (i'm talking about the ears.)
(probably.)

nah man, i cleaned up. got on some medication, started dating a spaceboy. check it, i can say 'dating' without gagging.
if you do my ideas i want pics.

[driftsintobuffetline]

if i ever do your ideas, you totally get pics
will got pics when we did his idea, only fair

you? cleaned up??? cool. A+ no sarcasm there if you're not pulling my leg
and who is this SPACEBOY~~~

[pillz]

nah man. hand to god.

[don't believe him newt!!! but there were definitely changes, they're just superficial ones. he wears argyle now.]

spaceboy's name is murphy. you might have seen him around on the network a little bit, but there's this other kid who has the same face. big nose, murdery eyes, but even you could take him if it came down to it. he gets money from being on tv, this shitty reality show i was producing before my extreme makeover.
one day i'mma ask you for gay wedding advice.

video;

[notyourfathersosborn]

You've still got plenty of time, why not make your own costumes? Not from scratch or anything, but something you can modify from normal clothing... or even something with modern clothing and say a wig.

Most store-bought couples costumes are terrible. They really need to step up their pun game.

video;

[driftsintobuffetline]

Oh? What sort of puns would you implement, if you were in charge of the costume departments?

[notyourfathersosborn]

[Normie sighs rather dramatically.]

Alas, while I'm a strong admirer of puns, I have no skill at actually making them.

I'm more of a pop culture ideas guy. For example, my wife and I were planning on going as Morticia and Gomez before I got brought here.