video

[secondplacescrow]

[ Poor Edd, he's just so homesick for solid land. His hair floats around him like a halo when he makes a video. As usual, the camera upside down. Eddison Tollett will never get it right. ]

Please, do not go to space. It is not worth it. There's no wine here unless you smuggled some on board, leaving a man to thirst.

Already we have people fighting over tiny pods to talk to, everyone's a thief, and you can't eat the food here because it floats away if you don't open the packets right.

[ What's that he's holding? A flask? One of those skinny ones? Why yes, and he's taking a drink of it. Unfortunately, it wasn't designed for space, so the wine floats out of it, like an ominous liquid cloud. ]

See what I mean? I can't even get to wet my thirst here.

Comments

Re: Video

[drivesadesk]

Just trying to give some helpful space advice here.

Video

[secondplacescrow]

Oh, I know. It's very helpful for another person. You may not know it yet, but I bring misery to myself wherever I go. Shoveling pig shit, surviving a mutiny, get to be Lord Commander . . . not something you want to deal with. I don't.

[ He sighs. ]

I shouldn't have come. "Edd," they say, "You really don't know much about weather, why don't you go up in space and see how weather looks like from above the clouds?" Well, how do I know how your warm pressures work, back home I got winters that last for years, and the upcoming one last will last for an entire generation. That's the weather I know, bloody Americans.

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[drivesadesk]

You know, you have a very grim outlook on...everything. Look on the bright side! Now you're in a world that has summer every year! And you're on a ship full of sexy, attractive people! You've been in space! I bet no one in your world has accomplished that.

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[secondplacescrow]

There's a lot of things people in my world hasn't accomplished, but that doesn't mean it should be done.

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[drivesadesk]

You have such a grim outlook. Have you ever considered seeing someone about that? You know, back on Earth there's this psychiatrist named Chilton, and he's always trying to drum up business.

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[secondplacescrow]

My grim outlook is very much needed. Someone needs to point out how sad affairs can and will become.