maskormenace

What do you mean, your "human persona?"

Oh, this is just a disguise. I actually passed myself off as human back home, but here I just wear the suit to blend in a bit more.

Plus it feels weird going au naturale at this point.

Oh. [ He says, though it still doesn't really make sense to him. ] What are you actually, if not human?

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You can have one for free, from me. If you want.

How old would your human persona be?

Thanks! I definitely want.

My human persona is turning 35 this year.

So, will you be celebrating it? A party perhaps?

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Happy fake birthday! My human persona's birthday and my actual birthday are the same day. Do you get two birthdays, then?

Well, no. Because I hatched on a different planet, so I never was able to work out how the days would line up, so I don't really know what my real hatch day would be.

Oh! That makes sense! It would take some rather complex mathematics to figure that out, wouldn't it?

You're I think the third alien I've met here! But you've all been born on different planets. I imagine that must be somewhat bewildering.

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drivesadesk - 2018-03-13 19:49 (UTC) - Expand

One, why don't you have a real birthday, and two, we could just get them together? Considering we live together and all.

[ even if he's been... probably the worst housemate ever, leaving dirty dishes right and left because what is cleaning, etc. ]

Oh. Yeah. We could do that. And I don't have a real birthday because I never worked out how dates would line up with Earth on my home planet.

[Hah, Jonathan doesn't know what cleaning is either. That's what maids are for, right? Oh, right. They don't have a maid.]

[ So this guy isn't from Earth. Lester would raise his eyebrows, but he's honestly seen way too many weird things to question it anymore. ]

Fair enough. [ . . . ] So how do you like those cupcakes? The more frosting, the better, or are we talking more of an even ratio?

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[Looking human at the moment, Randall sees the ID and connects it to a conversation they had about his fear poll.]

Hey, you're the reptile guy, right?

I am, yeah.

[He let his eyes revert to their natural state for a moment.]

Why do you ask?

Just... uh...

[He looks shifty for a moment before seemingly changing the subject.]

So didn't you have a birthday before? I mean, why've you gotta pick a fake one?

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One cupcake? It's your birthday, you need real gifts. I've been making food from my world here, if you want to try some of those? That's more of a proper birthday celebration thing than just a cupcake.

Yeah! I'd love that!

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Why settle for just a cupcake? You deserve a whole cake... Unless your people aren't fans of cake.

Well, yeah, but I'm not going to eat a whole cake...

Actually, no. That's a lie. I would totally eat a whole cake.

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You have multiple personas?

Well, no, but back home I was pretending to be human so I had to come up with a whole human identity.

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Happy fake birthday?

Can I ask what you mean by "human persona"?

I'm actually an alien disguised as a human. Back in my home universe I was actually trying to hide it, so I had a whole fake bio going on.

Happy birthday, Jonathan! That's delightful news. You should definitely treat yourself to something nice.

Is there anything else you've been pining for of late? Perhaps I could pick up a small gift for you, as well.

Well...I really need to practice my fighting skills, so maybe like...something to practice hitting?

Or a coffee machine. I should probably learn to brew it myself.

Edited 2018-03-16 01:42 (UTC)