[ video ]

[nightmarist]

[Though Ronan is fairly active around instagram and bwitter, he hasn't made a post to the imPort-only network in all the time he can remember being here. Which changes today, on this most holy day.]

Sláinte.

[Lined up in several tidy rows in front of him, atop his kitchen table, are dozens and dozens of shot glasses filled with whiskey. Not green whiskey. Just regular whiskey.]

I'm taking a shot for every reply you fucks make to this post. Who wants to play?

[He's got a film crew with him, though they're mostly out of sight. This little segment is obviously going to feature in the next season of ETV's "fuckups & tryhards".]

Comments

video.

[admemoriam]

It should really be green whiskey though.

[He doesn't even need to read Ronan's mind.]

[nightmarist]

[Ronan raises his glass in a toast to Noah before downing the shot.]

You don't get teeth this beautiful by drinking gallons of dye.

Action

[hondoyota]

[As a conscientious objector to this situation, Adam does not reply, but he can be seen in the background of some of the shots, reading a book and supervising his boyfriend.]

[nightmarist]

[Ronan sneaks a hand onto Adam's thigh after a dozen shots or so, giving it a reassuring squeeze.]

Video

[fehus]

You've become a parody of yourself. Wait, let me get something to toast with, you stereotype.

[nightmarist]

You're only encouraging me.

[Shot.]

video;

[dreamkid]

Whoa, I can't believe you posted on here on purpose.

[nightmarist]

It's for work.

[Shot.]

Re: video; | private so these babies don't have to drink

[fehus]

Yo, you at home? -- Um. I'm Magnus. We talked a bit on your first day.

[Video]

[cadbane]

Do you really need this excuse to drink?

[nightmarist]

I need no excuse to drink, believe me.

[Shot.]

video

[aberrant_type]

Are you feeling perturbed? Is it common for you to publicly drink? How are those tomatoes going?

[Hange is holding the camera really close to her face, as if she could examine Ronan more closely by doing this. All that shows is a blurry shot of brown eyes.]

[nightmarist]

I'm feeling great, thanks. It's common for me to drink in general. And the tomatoes are beautiful. They're beautiful.

[He's already drunk, yet here he is, taking another shot.]

action

[rekt]

[ since this is filming for their show, murphy is off to the side, watching this irish train wreck occur, face maybe a little too excited, watching ronan like he's waiting for him to puke. ]

Are you feeling the alcohol coma coming on yet?

[nightmarist]

[Ronan jabs an accusatory finger in Murphy's direction.]

Don't gloat. It's unbe... becoming.

[He's so sweaty. Thank god this doesn't count for a shot.]

Action

[disentombs]

[Aaaaaand Gansey has accidentally walked into the middle of a shitshow.

He’s returning from work and just got changed into khakis and a lilac polo. All he wanted was a slice of cold pizza, preferably with avocado. The cameras aren’t new but he hadn’t been expecting them—though as soon as he sees them, he understands. St Patrick’s Day, another excuse for Ronan to drink more than usual.]

Lynch, what in fresh hell are you doing?

[nightmarist]

Gansey!

[Ronan throws his hands into the air, delighted, but he's well past the point of being able to stand up to greet his best friend.]

Join us. There's, uhh... There's more than enough?

[The crew keeps refilling the glasses, and it's confusing Ronan, as he looks down at the table to find he's made no progress at all on emptying these shots.]

[sanguinespell]

[y'know what, if magic dreaming gothman is gonna engage in irresponsible heritage-honoring underage drinking on st. patrick's, she might as well. the staff comes into view, she focuses, her voice seeming to take on a certain weight--]

清酒。

[clear sake. and out of a small magic-looking circle that opens up in front of the staff, a bottle of sake drops into her free hand. she unscrews the top, raises the bottle, and--]

All right, so. 乾杯? [cheers i'll drink to that bro]

[nightmarist]

That's a neat party trick.

[Ronan raises his glass in toast to her before downing it.]

VIDEO.

[specialise]

[ all raven thinks: he's just as stupid as murphy. ]

[ lips slightly pursed and her judging face on, raven purposefully responds to this late. ]

So how dead are you right now?

[nightmarist]

[Incorrect. Murphy is smarter.

Ronan checks his pulse.]

Still breathing. And conscious, somehow.

[Perhaps not for long? He takes a shot.]

( text )

[fettering]

[ he has no idea who this is tbh or why he's trying to kill himself and he wants nothing to do with this but also: ]

pls dont die
you have a healer on hand right?
is magnus going to go heal you??
magnus are you going to heal him???

video

[fehus]

[signing in ASL for Shit Talk, with the corners of his lips twitching;]

[ Yes going to heal. Somehow one irresponsible drunk becomes three, maybe four? No one dying. ]

[the sign for dying, two hands flipped over, he accompanies with a tongue poking out of his mouth]

video

[subroutined]

[ Oh hey look have an Actual Irish Ginger (tm). ]

Are you sure that's really necessary? Or safe?

[nightmarist]

[Ronan's answer is cheerful:]

I'm sure it's neither.

[And yet... he takes a shot.]

video.

[littlemissfutility]

St. Patrick's Day is about more than just drinking, you know.

[e y e r o l l]

[nightmarist]

[Ronan perks up, queasiness momentarily pushed aside in favor of drunken gregariousness. Does she want to talk about religion? He could talk about religion for hours.]

Sometime around 400 anno Domini, a slave named Patrick was brought to Ireland and sold to a pagan chieftain. He was assigned to be a shepherd, which gave him a lot of time to pray. A lot. He prayed a hundred times each day and a hundred times each night, until one day a voice in his dreams told him he'd return home soon. And he did! He escaped!

But after he was back home and reunited with his family, he had another dream. In the dream, a man came to him with letters written from the people of Ireland, begging him to return. Why the fuck would he return to the place he'd been enslaved? Stupid, obviously, so he ignored that dream. But the dreams kept coming, the way dreams do, so he gave up and went back to Ireland.

Then, on Easter morning, he defied the pagan priests and lit a fire to welcome Christ to Ireland. He, like, literally brought light to his former enemies, and if that isn't beautiful, I don't know what is. He went on and on about the Lord - Christ be within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ inquired, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger - and of course everyone thought he was a fucking lunatic.

Finally, he picked up a shamrock and began to teach people about the Holy Trinity using its leaves, and they started to get the message. Because the shamrock could only be found in Ireland, the Irish felt a symbolic connection to the triune. They started to believe the Christian God had a special place there. And that's how God came to Ireland.

But the snake thing is fucking bullshit.

[Thanks for coming to his TED talk. Now he's taking a shot.]

video »

[perfectible]

That doesn't look green to me.

[nightmarist]

Why does everyone want to fucking ruin their teeth with green dye?

[Shot.]

Video

[itcanwait]

For every response?

[nightmarist]

[HE'S LITERALLY DYING IN FRONT OF EVERYONE'S EYES.]

Yes.

[...Shot.]

[pummelgranite]

[ On the one hand she's a Londoner and a pagan god. On the other hand, she's really into alcohol poisoning so. ]

Well I appreciate your firm stance against green drinks.

[nightmarist]

Thank you. For fuck's sake...

[He's not taking shots anymore. He's mostly sitting here faceplanted on the table.]