maskormenace | 001

[There's the sound of some fumbling with the communicator as someone struggles to get the thing oriented and recording. For a moment, there's a flash of one giant, emerald green eye close up to the lens as the owner inspects the device.]

Is this...is this thing on? Is it recording...? Gods dammit...how the hell...

[More fumbling. Then another voice offscreen can be heard: 'Hey boss, you want me to show you how to--']

No. Look, I got this. Go over there and finish checking the inventory and let me--

[Finally, he manages to get the comm aligned and recording. The blue haired newcomer looks absolutely exasperated.]

Okay, I think I've got it. Anyway, I'm not sure who all can see this? But I'm having some issues here. Now, I, for one, am glad that I was provided employment upon working here. I kinda wish it was more in my field, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, am I right? I've run a shop before. I know business. I know how to sell. I can sell a full set of plate mail to an eighty year old wind mage. My point? I can do this job. Here's the problem:

[Darin tilts his comm to show his store, namely the Thot Topic in Nonah that he has been given management of. The store is in great shape and people are shopping and being helped by the staff. But over by the entrance there stands three seemingly disaffected teens. Two girls and a guy, and they are all taptaptapping away at their phones.]

Can someone explain to me what the hell is happening here? They've been here for hours. They're here every other day, it seems. They don't talk. The best part? Hang on.

[Okay, looks like we're moving now. Darin walks over to the group and not-so-discreetly circles them while holding his comm aloft. Maybe some eagle-eyed viewers might catch one of them texting 'omg, the old blue haired guy is back guys lmao' before Darin walks back to his original position towards the back of the store.]

Did you catch that? Did you? They're sending those messages to each other. They're talking to each other! Through their little devices! Instead of using words! Culture shock my ass, is there a priest or something out there? Because I think these kids are possessed and I do not deal with ghosts. Seriously, if anyone can offer me any insight into what the hell is wrong here, I will give you ten percent off of whatever the hell you want from my store. Hell, make it twenty percent.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, if there's one thing I can do, it's survive.

[Darin goes quiet for a second before continuing.]

Actually? If you ever bump into someone that looks exactly like me, but with longer hair? Don't talk to him. Don't make any mention that you know me. Just find me as soon as you can.

Sure. No engage, call Darin. Got it.

[...]

On that note, if you see a guy who looks like a skinny version of you with light blue hair, gimme a call. We got a screamin' match in the works that I gotta get out my system.

Oh, and he'll likely have green hair. Not like...bright green? Like a really dark, foresty green. But he might try the blue haired look just to get people to think he's me.

Skinny version of me? Like...how skinny are we talking? Like, 'needs a sandwich' skinny?

Ugh. The worst kind.

[his nose wrinkles.]

Idle rich boy skinny.

Oh no, is he some kinda rich, noble brat? I'll keep an eye out for him, but if I see him and he looks down his nose on me like some kinda lord, I may punch him before I call you.

Sota. It's complicated. He'll probably be really nice to you, actually.

[stupid steven]

...Really?

Then what's your beef with him?

It's complicated.

Like, the roles we played in the near end of the world complicated.

[REEEEECORD SCRATCH.]

Uh...end of the world?

Uh huh.

[considering he's not aware of darin's history, he just shrugs.]

It was a bad day.

That...sounds more than just a bad day.

Bad week, maybe?

Bad month, definitely.

Seems a bit much for a day.

[despite being the one that brought it up, it's shocking how quickly archie is starting to look uncomfortable. despite all the progress he's made with what he did, the memory of knowing he was singularly responsible for the almost end of the world is not a fun thing to relieve.

which he does. everytime.

he's fine.]

It was only a couple of hours, actually.

[Darin recognizes that look. Probably better than most people would. He claps the older man on the back.]

Yeah well, time flies, right?

You know what you need? A fishing trip.

Yeah.

[he makes A Face. brace for hippy incoming.]

With like-- the floats that have serrated hooks on 'em? No, I don't like doing that unless the fish bodies are gonna be used, and there's nothin' around there that's worth eating. [he wouldn't eat them anyway. plants or bust, ya'll.] People here haven't figured out the bobbers we have at home that doesn't hurt them at all...

[sure, he could just heal them, but it would be unnecessary, he feels.]

...You could get a jetski, though. I can just surf on Sharpedo.

Bobbers?

Hrm...well, we could just go out on a boat. See where the day takes us. I haven't been out on a boat in months.

Yeah, they're special Pokéball floats that attract the water critters. They... bob on the water?

[there's a technical term for it, but y'know. habits.]

Sure. That works. [he rubs the back of his head.] I don't mean to-- be weird about the fishing thing. I'll explain some other time.

Hey, it's okay. Different worlds, remember?

If you told me more about the bobbers, I can probably make them. I used to make custom lures all the time for fun.

Maybe. It's a bit different when the fish are sentient. That's why it works, it's-- complicated.

[well, not really, but to someone who doesn't know anything about their world...]

--You'll like Sharpedo, anyway. He's the best to surf on.

Hey, I'm pretty resourceful. I can at least try and make some fish friendly bobbers! It'd be nice to have more company out on the water.

"Surf on?" You can ride him? Geez, how big do these monsters get in your world?

I don't mind that. So long as you use anything you catch.

[the one part of his personality that is ever the same is the PETA part.]

I have a Wailmer with me... she's gonna turn into a Wailord that's like... 45ft? They're one of the biggest Pokémon on record, though. Most of them are around the same size as the animals here.

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