001 - VIDEO

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[There's the sound of some fumbling with the communicator as someone struggles to get the thing oriented and recording. For a moment, there's a flash of one giant, emerald green eye close up to the lens as the owner inspects the device.]

Is this...is this thing on? Is it recording...? Gods dammit...how the hell...

[More fumbling. Then another voice offscreen can be heard: 'Hey boss, you want me to show you how to--']

No. Look, I got this. Go over there and finish checking the inventory and let me--

[Finally, he manages to get the comm aligned and recording. The blue haired newcomer looks absolutely exasperated.]

Okay, I think I've got it. Anyway, I'm not sure who all can see this? But I'm having some issues here. Now, I, for one, am glad that I was provided employment upon working here. I kinda wish it was more in my field, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, am I right? I've run a shop before. I know business. I know how to sell. I can sell a full set of plate mail to an eighty year old wind mage. My point? I can do this job. Here's the problem:

[Darin tilts his comm to show his store, namely the Thot Topic in Nonah that he has been given management of. The store is in great shape and people are shopping and being helped by the staff. But over by the entrance there stands three seemingly disaffected teens. Two girls and a guy, and they are all taptaptapping away at their phones.]

Can someone explain to me what the hell is happening here? They've been here for hours. They're here every other day, it seems. They don't talk. The best part? Hang on.

[Okay, looks like we're moving now. Darin walks over to the group and not-so-discreetly circles them while holding his comm aloft. Maybe some eagle-eyed viewers might catch one of them texting 'omg, the old blue haired guy is back guys lmao' before Darin walks back to his original position towards the back of the store.]

Did you catch that? Did you? They're sending those messages to each other. They're talking to each other! Through their little devices! Instead of using words! Culture shock my ass, is there a priest or something out there? Because I think these kids are possessed and I do not deal with ghosts. Seriously, if anyone can offer me any insight into what the hell is wrong here, I will give you ten percent off of whatever the hell you want from my store. Hell, make it twenty percent.

Comments

[shittywizard]

Just in general.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Okay but what do you do to actually sustain yourself?

What is your trade? Your profession?

[shittywizard]

I'm a wizard.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

... ... ...

[Wait.]

Wait, seriously?

Or are you screwing with me?

[shittywizard]

Hang on.

[ He leans offscreen for a second and comes back into view with a very large pointy hat on. ]

Actual wizard.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Okay.

Okay.

[Darin pinches the bridge of his nose.]

So, a pointy hat does not prove you're a wizard. It proves you like dumb hats.

Why would you show me a hat as proof and not, you know, actual magic?

[shittywizard]

[ He rolls his eyes and taps the side of his head with the end of what looks like a large, closed umbrella, and his hat starts to change colors, cycling through the rainbow. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin really really really wants to be excited by this. He does. A wizard? Someone who can actually teach him about magic? Something he's always wanted to learn about? This is the greatest opportunity.]

[But, on the other hand, he mildly annoyed Darin which, in his eyes, gives him the right to be a complete and total asshat for no reason.]

[For the record, Darin does a really poor job at hiding the fact that he thinks magic is just the godsdamned coolest. It's written all over his dumb face before he can find the words to respond.]

S-So you made your hat change colors. How riveting. Don't know how to cast a fireball? Or summon a whirlwind? Pft.

[shittywizard]

[ Taako is absolutely used to people being completely wowed by his magic. Hell, he's been living with Magnus for over a year, not to mention all the time they've been working together back home, and the big oaf is still impressed every single time he so much as casts Mage Hand. So he can absolutely tell Darin is into it. ]

What, you want me to cast fireball in my living room?

[ The colors on his hat start to sparkle like there are stars and galaxies spinning within the threads. It's very #aesthetic. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Ngggghhh...]

[HNNNNNGGGGGHHHHHHH]

[THAT LOOKS SO COOL HOW IS HE DOING WHAT WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HE WANTS TO KNOW BUT HE HAS TO TRY TO LOOK SUUUUUPER UNIMPRESSED!!!]

Well...okay, I guess maybe casting 'fireball' is a bit on the...

...the advanced side.

I guess the hat thing is kinda cool.

In a novelty sorta way.

[IT'S SO COOL!!!!]

[shittywizard]

[ Darin is as easy to read as a picture book, and Taako just looks lazily smug about it. ]

I mean, it's a cantrip. It's supposed to be novelty. You want impressive, I could cast Disintegrate or something, but again: living room.

[ He flips his phone's camera and pans it around an eclectic, cozy, and frankly kind of cluttered living room. At the bottom of the shot, though, are Taako's very green feet, propped up on a natural wood coffee table with foam dividers between his toes, as levitating nail polish brushes paint his toenails. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...Are...Are you making the nail polish do that or do you have ghosts.

Please say it's you.

[He did inhale sharply at 'disintegrate' because HE WANTS TO SEE THAT ugh but he had to be a jackass and now he can't ask to come over with a bunch of crap he wants to see disintegrated WHY IS HE LIKE THIS.]

Not that...that's impressive or anything. I'm just super not into ghosts.

[shittywizard]

This'll be way less stressful for you if you just admit you think this is awesome.

[ This smug asshole. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

IT'S...ENTERTAINING.

THAT'S IT.