fourth level; video (forward dated to after the campaign announcements start rolling in)

[extremeteenbible]

[ Merle's been to a lot of new worlds in the past hundred and change years. So he knows that part of adapting to a new world is to immerse yourself in its culture, provided it has one. Study the classics, as it were.

Which is why the scene in this video might look somewhat familiar to some music loving imPorts. (It's not in black and white, though, because Merle hasn't figured out how to do camera filters on his phone.) A lone dwarf stands in a decrepit Maurtia Falls alley, a homeless person who looks a lot like a rabbi standing in the background warming his hands over a barrel fire. (Merle may or may not have hired an actual rabbi for the role.) A folksy guitar riff is playing from somewhere offscreen. In the foreground, the dwarf holds up a stack of white signs each with one word hand written on them in dark permanent marker.

The first sign reads, I. He lets it fall, revealing the sign behind it.

This one reads, THINK. Like the sign before it, this too falls to the ground.

The next sign reads, DOGS.

The next, SHOULD.

Then, finally, VOTE.

He says nothing, letting the last sign linger before it, too, falls to the ground. Then he just sort of... stands there looking proud of himself before scurrying over to the camera to turn off the video. ]

Comments

video;

[burger_king]

[ This is great? This is so great. ]

Run on that platform and you got my vote secured. [ Not that he's old enough to vote but whatevs. ]

Re: video;

[extremeteenbible]

[ Merle, still looking a little too pleased with himself, cheerfully replies, ] Oh, I ain't running! Politics aren't for me, I'm a man of the cloth.

[ But, for what it's worth, all imPorts can vote regardless of age or city. ]

( text )

[fettering]

omg youre right

[extremeteenbible]

oof course I'm right! I'm always right!

text.

[admemoriam]

[extremeteenbible]

[ Hang on, he can figure this out... Taako showed him how to do this once... ]

text; username dh4z3

[nastygram]

hell fucking yes dude

if an actual dog actually runs for this bs title i will be the FIRST in line to vote for once

actually FUCK THAT: i will run the dog's social media campaign

[extremeteenbible]

would you? I know 2 dogs we might rope into this, but I dont think they're Donna wanna move to De Chima.

*gonna wanna move

video

[pummelgranite]

[ From her throne of flowers and animal bone, Persephone begins to clap slowly. But this is not a degrading slow clap, no this is loud and passionate.

And she keeps it up for a solid minute and a half before the feed cuts off. ]

text;

[extremeteenbible]

[ Merle just basks in the applause, shooting back a text, ]

thank you, thank you. love the chair, btw.

[Text]

[battysitter]

They have no hands to vote dude

[Text]

[extremeteenbible]

Step 1: get a board with all the candidates pictures on it. Names, too, in case the dog can read.
Step two: you put the board on the ground.
Strep 3: the dog walks up and puts his paw on the candidate he wants to vote for.

video;

[pickledturncoat]

Are there sentient dogs on this planet?

video;

[extremeteenbible]

Sentient dogs? Hoo, boy! Wouldn't that be a hoot?

text;

[aka_pistachio]

Are we talking like talking dogs? Or dogs dogs?

text;

[extremeteenbible]

Have you ever met a dog that could talk?

No! regular dogs.

(video)

[quickfingers]

[This response is filmed in a bathroom, aimed from the counter top down at such an angle where it seems empty until slowly but surely a figure rises up into frame. She's obviously being held Simba-style by someone who is bad at staying out of frame and who should probably not be so used to filming this kind of thing in his bathroom. But sometimes you just need to pursue a good joke.

He scratches at her ear before making her head bob in a nod. She wiggles around to lick at his face and knocks Peter back on his ass, right in center frame, and he just raises his brows with a laugh at the camera.] As her manager, I represent Rooty, and she's very supportive of this vein of thinking. Pawsitively all in for it.

[extremeteenbible]

[ Merle watched with anticipation as the tiny pup is brought forth, completely missing the Lion King reference. ]

Are you fur real?? She's perfect!

video

[symphonyinme]

Aw, puppy pundits. I love it!

video (I heard this exactly in Linda's voice)

[extremeteenbible]

Isn't it the greatest idea! I should get a knobby prize for this!

[ He means Nobel, he's just an idiot who isn't from this world. ]

[voice]

[mindsnakes]

That's the last fucking thing we need.

[He knows a talking dog. Midnight is an asshole. ]

[voice]

[extremeteenbible]

Such a naysayer! Well I say nay to you!!

NAY NAY NAY.

Video

[viced]

[ Mitchell is just.

Staring at the camera. He squints. ]

What, like fucking sentient dogs? Or dogs in general?

Video

[extremeteenbible]

Well, I mean, it'd be better if they were sentient, sure...

text;

[shittywizard]

[extremeteenbible]