maskormenace | 01; Video... sort of.

[The video feed starts with the face of a young man looking... very confused at the phone in front of him. Squinting, almost. Soon followed by a...]

HELLO?

[...He is literally yelling into the communicator, and pressing it to his cheek. Entirely unnecessary, since this is a video post... But whatever. Say hello to Joseph's cheek, fellow users of the Network. This is all you get for the rest of the video.]

There's no receiver end on this thing, how am I supposed to know where to talk into! Or who I'm talking to?

[Yeah. You're getting one of these guys again. Sorry. He's from 1938. This has been a rough journey for the technologically inept.]

Whatever! I have to go back- it's really important. I'm going to be done for in six days if I don't get to Switzerland! It's a really long story but I don't have time for another adventure, I'm already in the middle of one right now. I don't want to hear any of those excuses I've already been told! I'm being really serious here! I should have memorized Lisa Lisa's phone number...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, technically, it's a wedding ring.

...It's worse than it sounds!

I kinda figured. You wouldn't need an antidote for a wedding ring.

[Just a divorce!]

So? What's the deal with the wedding ring?

It's around my heart.

[THIS IS SOUNDING WORSE AND WORSE.]

... It's around an artery in my heart!! And filled with poison!! The point is, it's not a laughing matter! I really am going to die!

There's a...

[What.]

What? How does that even happen?

I said it was a really long story! Do you really want me to explain it all?

Well, when you put it that way...

[Yes, Joseph, he totally does. He wants to hear the entire story because he's a nosy, nosy boy, but he supposes he can give it a rest while Joseph is ostensibly dying.]

Do you have a name for this poison? Anything you could tell the doctors here?

...

It's probably vampire magic?

[DOES THIS HELP??]

[Someone help him react to this he doesn't know how.

He opens his mouth, then shuts it, staring helplessly at the screen.]

There's a wedding ring around an artery in your heart, and it's filled with poison, and that poison is vampire magic.

[IS HE HEARING THIS RIGHT?]

In short, yes.

[Has he won it, Jaime? Has he officially won weirdest situation ever, in your book?]

[He has, and he has a sentient piece of alien technology fused to his spine that makes a supersuit out of his own poop.

Brava, Joseph. Brava.]

How the heck do you get into -- [he cuts himself off, holding up both his hands.] Never mind, I know, long story. Only thing is, uh, I dunno how much a regular doctor would be able to do for you? This sounds like the sort of thing you need a magic user to take a look at.

That's what I was thinking too. I know Hamon won't be able to fix this, but since there's so many different kinds of people here, there might be a solution that wasn't possible where I'm from.

It's possible. If I knew any magic users, I'd hook you up, but...

[Nada.]

As it is, your best bet's probably to head over to the hospital and see what the doctors there say about it - or see who they've got on call. You need directions?

Everyone's suggesting a doctor, but I really think that's just a big waste of time... I called a taxi a while ago to take me to one.

Even if it is a waste of time, what have you got to lose? Worst case scenario, he might be able to refer you to someone who can help.

Tch. Fine, I'm going after I have dinner somewhere. Happy?

[There's a taunting response on the tip of his tongue, but after a moment's consideration, Jaime decides that yes, Joseph's statement is accurate. It is a good thing that he's going to see a doctor.]

Yes, actually, I am. Good luck with the whole vampire poison thing.

Wait-! We never said our names. I know it's written on this thing next to your replies, but I guess I'm old-fashioned that way. I'm Joseph Joestar.

Oh, right. I'm Jaime Reyes. [An infinitely less cool name by far...!]

Nice to meet you.

[Well, not everyone can be named after Beatles songs.]

Nice to meet you too, Jaime.

01; Video... sort of.

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