voice;

[aberrant_type]

Dear fellow imPorts... dear friends! Recently, while perusing this 'interweb,' I discovered something incredibly exciting and important!

[She simply pastes the link into the post: https://koorana.com.au/tourism/]

Look at this... look at it. I'll give you a few moments to feast your eyes. Have you looked at it? Do you understand what you're seeing? YES! It's a saltwater crocodile farm! Yes! You can visit it! Do tours there! Have adventures there! Have FORMAL DINNERS AND GATHERINGS THERE! It's only a minimum of twenty people to have dinner! Dinner surrounded by five thousand saltwater crocodiles! [way too excited]

Imagine it! Imagine! They do feedings for your amusement! Perhaps they would even agree to a deal where you could do the feeding! Imagine tossing meat into the water for these enormous, dangerous creatures, these primordial creatures! Imagine their eyes on you, think of how much they want to eat you! Imagine your soft, defenseless body only feet away from razor-sharp teeth and crushing jaws! Imagine the water foaming up pink, churned by their tearing the chunks of meat you've just thrown them to pieces and swallowing them whole! Imagine your mind held prostrate in instinctive terror of a creature who'd rather bite off your leg than say hello!

And then imagine going and eating some crocodile yourself! Yes! The humans of this world have mastered these apex predators to the point where they eat the crocodile instead! And go on tours to watch them and feed them for amusement! How remarkable! How resourceful! I'm desperately envious! I would love to tend to a farm of FIVE THOUSAND saltwater crocodiles! I would love to hold one of their babies! I would love to observe the nests! I would love to toss meat to them to eat! And I'd love to eat one!

[She sounds positively giddy at this point... and then subsides, clearing her throat after a few moments. Calmer now:]

The only trouble would be getting to this wonderful place called Australia in the first place, but I imagine in an amazing world like this one, such a thing could easily be done. If only we could do a swear in there...

... anyway!

[CALM AND UPBEAT] I'm realizing that my hand to hand is quite rusty at this point, and brushing up on that could only be helpful in a world where disaster could strike at any moment. Are there any hand to hand experts in the imPort population who'd be willing to give lessons? I'd be happy to swap, as well! I can teach horsemanship, winter survival, wilderness survival in general really, even mathematics if you like. Let me know!

Comments

video

[h2no]

Th...the babies!! The little baby crocodiles!!

[archie may be weeping openly after looking at that. even such a small preview.

WHEEZE] And there's so many!!

[he's beside himself. how does he even reply to this past the ugly sobbing he's doing right now, in between his words.]

There's gotta be one in this region. There's gotta be one!!

1/2 voice forever

[aberrant_type]

Archie... Archie! Archie! You understand! Someone understands!

[aberrant_type]

WE'LL FIND A CROCODILE FARM! We'll visit a crocodile farm! I'll do this if it's the last thing I do in this world! I insist upon it! There's no way I could pass up such an amazing opportunity!

voice

[queenofseers]

[ Why...why is Hange like this. Why.

Well, she can kind of figure out why, but still. ]

...So I assume this means you didn't have any access to alligators in your home world.

8)

[aberrant_type]

No, none at all!

CASS! Come with me! Come with me to the crocodile farm!

Voice

[drivesadesk]

You know, I haven't seen any crocodile farms in the US, but I know where you can find a whole bunch of alligators near Heropa.

[aberrant_type]

Hello again! That'd do as a taster! Where, oh where do they lurk?

Text

[versusseeker]

they rlly arent that mean
lyk 2 say hi sumtimes
only bite if u mess w them

voice forever i'm lazy

[aberrant_type]

Oh... you make them sound charming after all! I want to meet them even more now!

Have you met many crocodiles?

video;

[nextsymbol]

[....she's very excited about crocodiles, huh.]

Ah...you could book a flight to Australia, Hange-sa...Hange.

[yes, it's still happening.]

...And I'm not an expert or anything, but I could spar with you if you want.

voice forever

[aberrant_type]

Yes, I might try that! I might see if that would work out! Ah, if only twenty imPorts or more could accompany me, to truly enjoy the amenities of the crocodile farm!

[SO excited, kiddo, so excited. You don't know half of it.]

Anyway - you have hand-to-hand expertise? [he seems so diffident... she's known some very young hand to hand experts so she's not writing off his possible skills. it'd be a little embarrassed to get her ass kicked by a kid of but 14 (or however old he is) though.]

voice

[mostlyprofessional]

I'm from Australia [as her accent would indicate if Hange knew anything about the place beyond "land of crocodiles"], and I must say, of all the reasons people tell me it's wonderful and they want to go there, this is a first.

voice

[aberrant_type]

You're from Australia! [oh she sounds excited... it's true, her world is a blinkered, tiny place and she knows nothing about accents] Have you seen crocodiles? Have you eaten crocodiles?

video

[fehus]

The little ones are surprisingly cute. Five thousand, uh, seems like a lot of them at once, though.

[aberrant_type]

The more the better, you know! Five thousand scaly bodies! Ten thousand gleaming reptile eyes! Probably more than one hundred thousand razor-sharp, gnashing, ripping teeth!

voice;

[cassassin]

One of the best fighters there is. [and the best by her world's standards. not to brag.] That's... not a joke.

I can help.

[aberrant_type]

Oho! That's quite a claim. [Hange doesn't sound disbelieving, though. She's interested! Izuku's cute, but... someone at a high level could really help her excel.]

We spoke before, didn't we? Early on... [someone has a good memory.]

video

[secondplacescrow]

...Is that what you call them?

They look like lizard lions from home.

(( Or they look like the ones on the arms of House Reed. Edd never seen a lizard lion before. ))

[aberrant_type]

Lizard lions! Haha, what a charming name!

These here are called crocodiles, though. And there are alligators! Those are similar, but different creatures!

text; un: the magnificent

[guerrilla_morph]

If a grizzly bear and a saltwater crocodile get into a fight, which one will win?

voice 8)

[aberrant_type]

Hmm... an interesting question! In the water, the crocodile will certainly win. On land, perhaps the bear?

[VIDEO]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[So, on the one hand, Darin is intensely amused by this. On the other, the sheer excitement being exhibited over an apex predator tearing apart meat is kinda...yeah. Yeah, there's a word for it. But he can't figure out what. So he's just gonna chinhands right into the camera.]

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you like animals?

[aberrant_type]

I love all creatures! Humans are what I love above all else, but nonhumans are fascinating too! I've met amazing nonhumans here, but also been introduced to bizarre, incredible, otherworldly animals that I'd probably never encounter at home.. and they... are... fascinating!

[so... yes, yes, and yes? i guess.]

voice.

[functusofficio]

[ ..... goodness. ]

I didn't realize that would be such an important find for you. I believe it is not easy to travel outside of the United States as an Import, but I'm sure it would be possible to arrange.

Re: voice.

[aberrant_type]

I've been contemplating contacting some officials here and asking if there's any potential for diplomacy missions... surely there must be something that could be done with my abilities in regards to reforesting areas and propagating rare or endangered plants? I don't know if they'd handle that, but perhaps? It would just be a lucky addition to things if it allowed me to travel...

[she just, really, likes things that can eat her, padme]