video;

[storyseeker]

[Elena doesn't post to the network too often, preferring to reach out to others who have done so. The somewhat pensive expression on her face might give some hint at why she's choosing to do so now, though.]

I've gotten to do a lot of things and meet a lot of people since I was ported in. There's been more good than bad. But this whole time I've been living with something really bad hanging over my head, something that might have happened back home—okay, I'm just going to say it, I thought I was probably gonna die about five minutes from when I was ported in. Except a friend of mine arrived recently and told me I don't.

[She laughs a little self-consciously, spreading her fingers over the surface of the table at which she's seated.]

It's good news. Great news. But I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that this big awful maybe suddenly isn't an issue anymore, especially since nothing's changed on my end. I thought other imPorts might understand.

So...any advice, or am I going to have to sit here feeling silly?

Comments

vid

[fauxmarth]

[whoa. hey. um. hi, stranger, but:]

I... I know this feeling. I know this feeling almost exactly that I... I'm a little astounded to hear it coming from someone else, aloud.

vid

[storyseeker]

[same hat!]

Really? I—okay, my first reaction shouldn't be relief, it's not great that any of us have had to deal with it. But yeah.

[fauxmarth]

[SAME HAT INTENSIFIES.]

No, I--I understand! Truly. [she flashes a wincing smile.] When...when one's life is spiraling so fast toward disaster, being yanked out of it into such relative calm and safety is... It makes things seem so unreal. Even as days tick by, unharmed, it...well, maybe it makes things feel even more unreal.

[storyseeker]

[GIRL YOU GET HER]

It still doesn't feel real. I believe my friend—she wouldn't lie about something like this. But that's all I've got, her word.

[fauxmarth]

[the shaky waver in her voice isn't out of being upset, just kind of...alarmed and energized by this solidarity. it's one thing to vent to loved ones who want to care for you, but this is more like...a kindred soul*, in a way.

nod nod nod:] Yes. Yes, exactly, it--! It's not a matter of trust, it's...it's a matter of foregoing your very senses, everything your mind and body have been bracing against so suddenly! And...and somehow believing that it'll work out. That--that all that struggle ahead when the clock resets...that even though you won't know it there? That...that it'll pass to something better.

I... [she hesitates, at a loss.] I wish I knew better, what to say to cope, but...

[she's still figuring it out, months later.]


[*IT'S CALLED SAME HAT HAVE WE ESTABLISHED THIS YET]

video

[shesalittle]

[Karolina can only relate to the first half of this scenario, but she would very much like to know what it feels like to be that relieved.] I'm not... totally sure why you would need advice?

video

[storyseeker]

[She laughs, a little self-consciously.]

Honestly? Me either. It doesn't make a lot of logical sense. But what I know in my head and how I feel about it don't match up right now.

[shesalittle]

Well, maybe you should celebrate. That might make it feel more true.

Or more fake, but I still think it's worth a shot.

[storyseeker]

That's not a bad idea. Do you think they do cakes for this sort of special occasion? "Congratulations on not getting blown up after all." Probably too long to fit.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

Wait, I think I remember this. You were Ported in just after a grenade attack, weren't you?

[It was a long time ago, but an entrance like that leaves a memorable impression.]

[storyseeker]

[That's an understatement.]

Yeah. This guy tried to take me and a couple others with him after he'd been shot. They saved my life here, but for a long time I thought he probably succeeded back home.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

But now you know you've got a life to go back to when you're Ported out.

[Jacob smiles.]

That's fantastic, Elena. I'm glad you're going to be okay.

[storyseeker]

Hopefully a long and interesting life. But a few years, at least.

[She grins at him, the relief coming out more than the more complicated emotions.]

I'll be all set once I figure out how to stop expecting the other shoe to drop.

Voice;

[lasersounds]

Depends on what was happening that made you think you were going to die. I came from the middle of a war so...I kind of threw myself into "normal" and didn't really process it.

Didn't work by the way. Made it worse when I got ported out and back in a few times. Punched a friend because he pulled a stupid move back home that could have gotten him killed if someone hadn't stepped in...It's hard.

Voice;

[storyseeker]

[Elena listens carefully to his words. No doubt the battles they've seen were different, but it's still common ground.]

For me, it was one guy with a grenade, but a warlord and his personal army were nearby, so there was a lot to worry about..

Did punching your friend help any?

[lasersounds]

That...sounds familiar. Different situations, same bs. Knowing you get out of something like that just fine doesn't really remove the tension--not until you live it yourself.

And punching the guy? Made me feel better for like thirty seconds.

[storyseeker]

Yeah. That's exactly it.

[Hearing that she's not the only imPort to feel something like this--not even the only one of two--doesn't completely fix how she feels. It's still strange. But it does make her feel better than before.]
That's the problem with punching, huh? Eventually the feeling goes away, and you can't keep punching forever.

[Okay, maybe it's not the problem with punching. But she's been there.]

voice

[h2no]

[he sees jacob's comment and it's pretty easy to put two and two together. here he'd been so scared she wouldn't survive, but... it's good news, at least.]

Well, shit. I wouldn't classify this as a situation where ya gotta feel silly, really.

voice

[storyseeker]

I know, I know...but I do anyway. Call me contrary.

Re: voice

[h2no]

That's fair. I guess we all got stuff back home we're anxious to see how it turns out-- but fear of dyin' is a rarer one. You gonna be okay? Here, I mean.

[his was fear of losing his friends and going to jail after being a dumbass ecoterrorist. self-inflicted, so nowhere near as severe. he can't imagine how she must feel with a new lease of life, but... still being here.]

voice

[storyseeker]

Yeah, I just need to figure out how to wrap my head around it. It's good news! Just really unexpected news. And it's not a bad thing to still be here even if I know I'll have more time there.

video

[khajidont]

Wha -- that's great news, Elena!

[ He pauses. ]

I mean, I know that's not the point of you putting this out there, but still!

video - RISES FROM THE DEAD

[storyseeker]

Pretty much the best news, right? It came out of nowhere.

video - JUST LIKE ELENA

[khajidont]

No kidding! I'm glad that you finally had someone to tell you what's going on.

And, you know. I'm really glad to hear it too. [ He didn't relish having Elena on the list of imPorts that would be going home to an early death - to finally hear sudden good news for a change is wonderful. ] You gonna celebrate?

video - except she's deffo more of a saint

[storyseeker]

[Over a year left wondering. Yeah, she's glad too.]

Huh. You know, I honestly didn't think about that. There's probably not a traditional celebration for this sort of thing, is there?

[Although maybe there should be, for imPorts.]