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[shadowglitter]

[ What up, nerdlingers? The sun is out, the birds are singing and Odin is shirtless, lying on his stomach in the seediest tattoo parlour Maurtia Falls has to offer. His legs are cheerfully kicking up behind him, the sickening neon light above his head buzzing far too brightly, and the rowdy old greaser next to him is messing with his ink gun and cleaning his fingertips on an old towel. It is... unhygienic. ]

It's been a solid eight or nine years since America has bore witness to my art. There was a time in which the darkness of my ethos slipped betwixt the network's supple, tender ears whenever a whim to share it would strike me, lighting a fire of eggs thrown at houses and a wanton destruction of property in its wake. But then I forgot that I wanted to make vlogs, and also my lawyer said I needed to stop doing terrible things all the time, so I guess I stopped coming to you guys for advice on things to burn or places to desecrate? So.

[ finger guns at his buddy manning the camera. ]

Today the only thing I'm igniting is your passion, and the only place I'm vandalizing is my body. I'm getting a tattoo, but I want it to cover more than just my back. I want it to cover my entire body. When I say I'm getting "a" tattoo, I mean I'm getting literally every tattoo that anyone suggests to me. No matter what it is? All tattoos. Every tattoo. Tell me a thing and thy will be done.

Disclaimer: I think if I die, I'll be reborn with a new, inkless body, so such suggestions might not be permanent. [ sh rug. ] If that happens, I'll do a part two.

Comments

( video )

[quickfingers]

[And on the flipside of that mukbang from last month, it's Peter's voice that's off to the side as he manhandles the camera and gets the utter essence of Odin Dark captured on live broadcast. There's a chuckling tone to his voice and it's evident that Peter is enabling the fuck out of this situation, as documented on film when he slips a sheet of paper to Odin with his right hand and it's got a picture scribbled on it in sharpie.]

He's getting this one on... ass or neck? I can't decide.

[shadowglitter]

[ odin: unphased. also odin: kind of hungry? completely uninterested in the dick!bro that peter's stupid enough to not use to stake his claim on odin's face. prime real estate. free real estate. he slaps at Peter's leg from the chair. ]

Do we have any more of those caramel salted pretzel things?

text;

[craftpunk]

get that

text;

[shadowglitter]

[ odin pulls a face, warily taking back his phone to switch over to text. he doesn't like this guy, what with his bullshit inability to find odin either attractive enough to fit his aesthetic or an all powerful god-daddy. BUT ALSO, MAYBE THIS IS A SIGN OF RESPECT? HOLD THE PHONE, MAYBE THIS IS WODEN'S SIGN OF SURRENDER. ]

Is that...
Is that "Allfather"? Does that mean Allfather? Are you relinquishing the crown?

text; im sorry

[sanguinespell]

[okay, on the one hand? she hates this guy. on the other hand, she's been doing witchy bullshit long enough to at least recognize the runes, elder futhark or anglo-saxon or not. and dick move, woden.]

"eldwsffl"?

voice

[fauxmarth]

...

You're not...serious about that proposal, are you, Owain?

video

[shadowglitter]

[ he's not. ]

ABSOLUTELY, I AM.

... video | private

[shadowglitter]

[ cough cough cough. his public feed goes dark, his private channel opens up. ]

I'm, um. No. Well - not no. A solid-- half-no? It's complicated.

[liontomyself]

I will actually flay anything untoward off of your skin if I see it.

Just a word of caution.

Also, your face is off-limits.

[shadowglitter]

[ if there's anyone he should come clean to about just doing this for attention, it's lord leo. but. he feels guilty. he feels guilt? there's guilt in these here bones. he probably should have given literally anyone a heads up about this before he dove into such choppy seas. ]

Yes. Of course. Okay. Understood. [ Coughs. Switches the feed to private. ]

Hypothetically, Milord - would getting a tattoo representational of you, through, say, the silhouette of a lean, vampiric panther cracking apart old tomes in the shadows of a dignified graveyard - would that be considered untoward? Or would that be considered an exception? A... a grand enough exception to feature prominently on my face, even?

[reexamined]

Odin.

[shadowglitter]

K...

Kayterina. Kaytherine. K... Kayrlos.

Text

[versusseeker]

get <(o◕ᆺ◕o)>

Text

[shadowglitter]

Won't he... be jealous?
Surely such a beautiful face belongs on your skin, more than mine.

[drivesadesk]

Uh...I feel like this is a bad idea. And a painful one. For tattoos you didn't even pick out.

[shadowglitter]

[ true. true. true. true. odin nods. odin nods again. odin nods three times.

He flexes his bicep at the camera. ]

THAT'S WHY I'M DOING IT.

voice

[h2no]

Do you really gotta make that joke at the end there?

[honestly. anyway, on to the main event: enabling bad decisions in his friends.]

Get one of Rooty on your face. Tell Peter to get a matching one.

[quickfingers]

Do we get the same one or like, does one of us get her head and the other her ass and together we like - form a full Rooty?

Because I call head over ass. Stating it here.

[shadowglitter]

[ Odin whistles, slightly non-commital. Totally not up for getting a lecture about a bad joke from Archie. Movin' on. ]

I can't just get Rooty, if I do that. I'd need to get Lissa and Lon'qu, too. And the bird that we haven't named yet. [ he swings his legs a lil. ] Also, would it be animal cruelty if we tattooed the dogs to have our faces on them?

video;

[sanguinespell]

[... ignoring concerns about the tattoo parlor first of all.]

A ring of black roses? Like, wrapped around your bicep or calf or something.

video;

[shadowglitter]

[ Oh. Damn? Damn. That's actually a good idea. He was expecting a lot of things, but he wasn't expecting a good idea. ]

Black roses. A dominating darkness, caged with such a tender fragility into the soft and delicate chalice of a rose's petals. That's pretty good. That's pretty sexy.

[ But. He tilts his head. ] Black roses seem a little too hardcore to be confined to somewhere as pedestrian as my arm or my leg, though, regardless of how many pounds of solid, chiseled muscle make up those parts of my body. I could get black roses on, like, the insides of my eyelids? Every time I close my eyes, they're there to greet me.

video

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail stares at the video in disbelief for a moment.]

Don't. You'll end up with something permanent on your body that someone else chose for you. That's a sucky feeling. If you're going to get tattooed, get tattoos you want.

Text

[d33tached]

The man is a fool, Abigail. There's little use in trying to reason with him.

[video]

[cigarbribery]

Please don't die.

[Okay, that's out of the way, time to move on to being the Responsible Adult—]

How about a flaming sword tattoo? Sounds pretty cool, right?

Re: [video]

[fehus]

Isn't that kind of cliche...? For swords, I mean.

No offense.

video

[fehus]

[well]

[he's not wrong]

Can I think for a minute? Hi Peter.

[quickfingers]

[Camera blurs for a second as Peter gives you an emo-girl-from-the-top angle to wave at ya.]

Hey Mango.