008 || audio

[couldbebeautiful]

Does anyone have any advice for telling some, uh, overenthusiastic fans to stop trying to shove fan fiction about your boss onto you? Ever since my backup got Ported out, they've been popping in more and more. A couple asked for edits.

[A beat, as Veronica turns some pages, then a muttered:] I don't get it, why is this one in second-person?

[Yep, she's reading the fan fiction. It's a slow day, and she's bored enough to rifle through a couple of them. She's rapidly regretting it, though, judging from the noise of a manuscript snapping shut.]

Actually, on the subject of backup, can someone help me dispose of these drafts?

Comments

text;

[setmatch]

Usually threatening people with a restraining order for abhorrent behavior is enough to deter them.

That or mace.

text;

[couldbebeautiful]

They're not trying to hurt me, beyond asking me to pass their stories on to my boss. Or asking me to do edits. That's not abhorrent, fhat's just vaguely annoying.

I'm not macing them. I couldn't even if I wanted to. They're way too earnest, I feel bad enough for them.

video

[ghoulking]

[ oh my GOD VERONICA ]

Don't talk about it on the network...!

video

[couldbebeautiful]

I'm out of ideas, where else am I going to go for more?

video

[ghoulking]

Just ignore it. It's the easiest thing to do.

video

[couldbebeautiful]

It was, now it's starting to get a lot harder. [There's a sigh, and Veronica tucks some strands of hair behind her ear.] I'm sorry, it's just that I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.

voice;

[shiroics]

Is "fan fiction about your boss" what it sounds like? I'm...really hoping it's not.

voice;

[couldbebeautiful]

It's exactly what it sounds like. He's got a pretty devoted following, actually.

voice;

[shiroics]

I'm not sure I could look any of my bosses in the face if I'd read something like that about them. I had a friend back home who had to deal with, uh, overzealous fans giving him stuff, and some of it was pretty racy.

[ A "friend." The astronaut thirst is real on Shiro's future Earth, at least if said astronaut has a torso shaped like a Dorito. ]

voice;

[couldbebeautiful]

My sympathies for your friend. Tell him not to look himself up on the Internet, there's some very racy stuff out there about imPorts.

[Judging from her voice, she really doesn't believe his "friend" story.]

I used to think the same before I started working here. Now I've seen way too much of this, and—honestly, I know the guy, they never get him right.

audio;

[livesfastdiesung]

Tellin' 'em to stop ain't workin'?

The best thing to do is ignore 'em usually though... they'll give up eventually.

audio;

[couldbebeautiful]

If it did, would I be asking everyone on the network?

It's a little harder to ignore them when you've got to serve them their food.

audio;

[livesfastdiesung]

You've gotta serve 'em food? Ain't there somethin' your manager can do? Like... make a rule about not doin' that sorta thing?

[reexamined]

Tell them that only the weak ask for a beta reader.

[couldbebeautiful]

A—what? [Yeah, she's not well-versed in fan fiction terms.]

Or I could just film you putting your fist through a whole stack of this for your show.

[reexamined]

Someone who reads a story before it's posted to catch typos, grammatical errors, and loose plot lines.

Punching through paper isn't actually as interesting as it seems.

voice;

[eloquentness]

Honestly, I ignore them if they're especially persistent...

[ probably not the best method, but there you go. ]

Otherwise, then they think if they keep bothering you, they'll eventually get some kind of answer.

[couldbebeautiful]

I can't exactly ignore them when I'm trying to get their orders. And they usually ask then.

[There's an audible drumming noise in the background, like fingers tapping against wood.]

I'd applaud them for their timing if it weren't for the fact that it's really awkward.

[eloquentness]

Wait, if they're harassing you during work, that's grounds for a suit...

[ Not that she's the legal type. Iris pauses, stifling back a sigh because frankly, that's creepier than she imagined. ]

Or at least something to tell your boss about.

[baphlement]

1) print out a page of it
2) eat it right in from of them, the whole page

[couldbebeautiful]

I'm pretty sure that would give me indigestion. They're that bad.

[baphlement]

I've heard of shitty recs, but this is on a new level!
We talking shippy stuff?

[d33tached]

[Veronica.]

Stop.

Don't let anyone else see those vile things.

[d33tached]

[Wait, why is she even--]

Stop looking at them yourself.

What is the matter with you?

[couldbebeautiful]

It's like a trainwreck, I can't look away, can you please come help me?