OCTOBER 10TH, 2015

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 10TH, 2015

October is in full thrust. Be sure to stock up on all your pumpkin spice flavored goodies! You never know when your local food dispenser may just discover that their supplies got... Squashed.

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE
Congratulations to JINSEOK JIN and ANA RAMIR, who have been chosen from the September Swearing-In to be our official imPort Spokespeople! In probably unrelated news, this poster has been plastered all over Heropa and the Ambassador lodgings in the three other imPort cities.

CONFESSIONS OF A WALLFLOWER
Seen in the hippest Young Adult magazines, talked about on NPR, seen on day time television, and found where ever books are sold:
A new imPort-penned book has hit the shelves! One Year Posthumous is the personal account of a young woman faced with a sometimes-difficult second chance in a new world. Native teenagers are eating it up and reviews are generally positive, with many (up to daytime television hosts, even!) speculating as to the author's true identity. Buy a copy for yourself and see if it moves you. Or just try to figure out if you know this spotlight-shy author.

LITTLE TALKS
Due to the communicator glitch that occurred on October 3rd, the NSA has requested funding for an investigation. The continual threat of Russian hackers may have saw an opportunity -- or may have even been the cause -- of this apparent malfunctioning. This was definitely not a miniature crisis manufactured by your own government for spying purposes.

PROBABLY NOT IMPORTANT
Senator Haik has taken ill quite suddenly and remains in hospital, in an undisclosed location.

FRESH OFF THE VOTE
The Nonah Ambassador Election will be held THIS OCTOBER 19TH. Voting booths will be accessible for every imPort who is not A CRIMINAL, this includes imPorts who are legally minors. Must be 18 or over to run for office.

THE BALLOT THUS FAR:
Raina and Francis Ewan Urquhart. Thank you for running, you noble patriots!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from VERMILLION to TANGERINE in response to overwhelming pumpkins.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Comments

[ text ]

[bestversion]

seriously if anyone going to explain the colour coding here???

also thought police sounds like a terrible idea. like really terrible.

text;

[helpline]

Is it cliche to make a 1984 joke if we're already living in 1984?

also, vermillion = toxic, tangerine = delicious, ergo tangerine = better

Re: text;

[bestversion]

we'll let it slide this time.

really? I figured orange to be more toxic. it feels more toxicy.

text;

[neatniks]

Are there an overwhelming amount of pumpkins? Or are there simply a few pumpkins that are overwhelming in themselves?

Re: text;

[bestversion]

you'd think we'd notice if there were giant pumpkins lying around and the pumpkin apocalypse was upon us.

[neatniks]

Maybe they're sneakier than we're giving them credit for.

[infomodder]

[picture attached!]

Near De Chima last weekend.

[hands4healing]

That looks like a lot of pies waiting to be made.

[neatniks]

That's a lot of pumpkins.
But is it TOO MANY pumpkins?

What's the normal pumpkin limit, anyway?

Voice

[viced]

Well, best of luck to both candidates in Nonah, I'm sure either one would be an excellent ambassador, and I look forward to working with whoever is voted into office.

And of course, hopefully Senator Haiik makes a full recovery, but if he needs any assistance, I know I can speak for De Chima to offer whatever help we can.

text, anonymous, because who reads ya fiction??? (this girl, always)

[rathercommon]

One Year Posthumous is SO GOOD. GET IT NOW, SERIOUSLY.

text, also anonymous!

[fridgeflower]

Thank you! I'm glad that people like reading it.

text anon

[rathercommon]

Oh! Are you the author?

text

[restingstitchface]

Native teenagers or naive teenagers? Is there a difference, here?

Regardless, posthumous works are released after the writer's death. Being lauded on daytime television would make me long for spiritual death, too.

[Screw the government and their joke of an ambassadorial election. The abuse of literature is the real crime, here.]

Oh, and Senator Haik?

The Russians did it.

text, anonymous;

[fridgeflower]

Well, I did die before I got here. It says so right on the back of the book.

[dicktate]

everyone think of my handsome face when you are driving down my highway

[ Literally the only reason he signed up. ]

[heavyhitter]

GIMME 5 BUDDY

permatext

[deadtective]

I just want everyone to know I had nothing to do with the pumpkin security change.

[helpline]

LIES.

Have you seen our house?

text

[heavyhitter]

YEEAHHHH whoever did that spokesguys picking knows whats UP

[enigmaestro]

What have you done.

( text. )

[aberth]

what the hell.
'this was definitely not a miniature crisis manufactured by your own government for spying purposes.'
are they serious with this shit?

text

[superposition]

Someone please tell me those "Thought Police" posters are satirical.

voice;

[fuckai]

[Sorry for your eardrums, guys]

TANGERINE?!?!

[You might recognize this screeching from adventures such as: Can You Call Dibs On A House or Alerts Not Being Blue Is Color-cist.

It's... probably... best to let this be.]

voice;

[glitchinthesystem]

It's a colour. Do you know what colours are?[ Hi, he's here to troll. ]