OCTOBER 10TH, 2015

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 10TH, 2015

October is in full thrust. Be sure to stock up on all your pumpkin spice flavored goodies! You never know when your local food dispenser may just discover that their supplies got... Squashed.

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE
Congratulations to JINSEOK JIN and ANA RAMIR, who have been chosen from the September Swearing-In to be our official imPort Spokespeople! In probably unrelated news, this poster has been plastered all over Heropa and the Ambassador lodgings in the three other imPort cities.

CONFESSIONS OF A WALLFLOWER
Seen in the hippest Young Adult magazines, talked about on NPR, seen on day time television, and found where ever books are sold:
A new imPort-penned book has hit the shelves! One Year Posthumous is the personal account of a young woman faced with a sometimes-difficult second chance in a new world. Native teenagers are eating it up and reviews are generally positive, with many (up to daytime television hosts, even!) speculating as to the author's true identity. Buy a copy for yourself and see if it moves you. Or just try to figure out if you know this spotlight-shy author.

LITTLE TALKS
Due to the communicator glitch that occurred on October 3rd, the NSA has requested funding for an investigation. The continual threat of Russian hackers may have saw an opportunity -- or may have even been the cause -- of this apparent malfunctioning. This was definitely not a miniature crisis manufactured by your own government for spying purposes.

PROBABLY NOT IMPORTANT
Senator Haik has taken ill quite suddenly and remains in hospital, in an undisclosed location.

FRESH OFF THE VOTE
The Nonah Ambassador Election will be held THIS OCTOBER 19TH. Voting booths will be accessible for every imPort who is not A CRIMINAL, this includes imPorts who are legally minors. Must be 18 or over to run for office.

THE BALLOT THUS FAR:
Raina and Francis Ewan Urquhart. Thank you for running, you noble patriots!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from VERMILLION to TANGERINE in response to overwhelming pumpkins.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Comments

[enigmaestro]

Perhaps that's the governmental plan. Perhaps they're hoping you alone will incite outright warfare from the Soviet end, leaving a justifiable return strike.

[heavyhitter]

whaaaat on earth are u talking about, im probably the biggest most friendly diplomat u know! except for the smacktalk. anyway they could not have chosen better

[enigmaestro]

I simply don't trust the "duck and CoverGirl" method, you understand. But congratulations nevertheless. I think.

Are you going to celebrate?

[heavyhitter]

itll be fine, all fine

hell yeah! me and jiji and a bottle of something expensive. id invite u but u probably dont want to be there

[enigmaestro]

Why must you make such assumptions?

[heavyhitter]

i mean jiji would probably be into it i think he swings any which way but im not looking to blur our professional relationship lines

[enigmaestro]

Your attempt to disinvite me into your probably highly platonic engagement, despite what you imply now, is duly noted.

[heavyhitter]

awww
look if i hurt ur feelings u can always come party with me after, my clubstaurants almost done

[enigmaestro]

And what's your idea of an after party? Aside from an afterthought.