MARCH 10TH, 2016

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 10TH, 2016

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING
As seen in Washington Beltway newspapers via press release:
The NSA reports a pronounced pattern of imPorts who are disgruntled by President Freemason's patriotic attack on a Soviet ally. There will be a congressional hearing to determine if anything ought to be done in a legislative reaction, or not.

SHE'S BEEN CALLED A SUPERWOMAN
As seen originally on BlueTube, with news media outlets reporting in reference:
Downtown Heropa got quite the scare when an imPort later identified as Maria Posada bodily shielded Manolo Sanchez, a fellow imPort and budding musician, from getting crushed by an oncoming bus. Thanks to her impressive, superhuman strength, the two were unharmed. Although no charges will be filed, the incident still garnered attention after a video captured by an onlooker went viral. Certain fans on Rumblr and other imPort-related forums are charmed by the pair, and hope to see more from them in the future!

CARLMANIA
As seen on BlueTube:
A post made by Carl Grimes (teenage heartthrob, imPort, and USSR survivor) made his second post on Bluetube, thanking American citizens for helping out in the imPort rebellion against the Soviet occupation. He came up with an idea for a bonfire to burn all the Soviet propaganda forced upon imPorts and to the American people. There is some criticism on the youth's harsh language and vulgar gestures.

However, rumors are circulating on Carl Grimes' mysterious wound, even though he barely goes into detail about it.

RUNNING ON EMPTY
As seen reported in international news and major national newspapers:
The Washington Think Tank American Intelligence Counsel held a conference of diplomatic and social scientific experts on imPort behavior. This topic has been rising in popular insider discussion, and imPorts have proven themselves to be an explicably formidable force. As one conference goer, who wishes to remain anonymous, said: "The strategic terrain of what to do next is not on any map, but rather the keys lies between that of imPort ears." The three-day conference begins March 10th and concludes March 12th in Washington, D.C.

SOFTBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
As heard on public radio:
Springtime is breaking pretty in De Chima and Maurtia Falls! With Daylight Savings just around the corner, many residents are thinking about outdoor pastimes. De Chima local Christina Matthews has petitioned the idea of both cities forming their own softball teams -- and imPorts are welcomed! Matthews said that given what both cities have recently been through, she thinks this would be a good bonding exercise for imPorts and locals alike. After all, they have more in common than not, and who doesn't like a little softball? Matthews has since been gauging interest through social media.

SOMEONE CALL MCCARTHY
As seen through BlueTube, local and national news stations, and discussed on Bwitter:
A statement from the imPort Ambassador of Nonah.

Statement as follows:

"I am not too proud to say that I am very pleased and grateful for the action of the brave citizens of Nonah and the other ImPort cities, who have shown that they are made of the Iron Stuff that will pull on the rungs of the Iron Curtain, bringing it down once and for all. In the time where others might have blinked, you brave Americans stared your invaders right in the eye and made them blink. It is an honour to live among your number.

I am grateful too for the brave men and women of the armed forces that helped rout the last of the Reds in our need.

But I am dismayed by one thing. It keeps me from the proper joy that our liberation should bring. Debrecen.

As Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of my world, I was asked to make some pretty tough decisions. I will even go so far as to say some of them would damn me to hell. I understand, deeply, what thinking that brought President Freemason to make her decision. I do not believe she took it lightly or out of ignorance. But I cannot ignore the great deal of collateral damage caused by the action. Hungarian children, nor indeed, many of their mothers and fathers, are not responsible for the actions of a misguided few scientists and their Russian masters.

It would no doubt be of grim and little comfort to the survivors of Debrecen, but I offer my condolences for the suffering you've endured in our name."

RUSSIAN IN WITH YOUR OPINION
As seen on the 24-hour national news cycle and in brief on the international news cycle:
"Russia has always had a very strong counterintelligence capability," reports ex-CIA Director Lucas Schwab. "So it is little wonder why President Freemason is rejecting calls for severe economic sanctions and is instead pursuing aggressive, offensive tactics. Remember that the presidential cabinet was infiltrated. Russia knew what we knew, and then misled us. Remember what happened to the imPort cities. You cannot afford to forget -- Russia will not let you."

Stay tuned, citizens.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from COMRADE RED, which is a fake color and will be ceremoniously stricken from the record, to CAPITALISTIC GREEN, because that's how it trickles down.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Comments

[angelfire]

Some decisions would damn you to Hell? Oh, Mr. Prime Minister, I do declare!

NOT HERE

[damselunimpressed]

text | id reads "power girl"

[boobwindow]

Capitalistic green. Really?

[infomodder]

Don't like green?

[boobwindow]

Nothing against it, although I lean towards reds, golds and whites.
I just have to wonder who's sitting in the Homeland Security Advisory System coming up with these color codes.

[infomodder]

An art school dropout?

[boobwindow]

I'm starting to consider the possibility.

[voice]

[wizzardly]

...This is all going to go terribly, terribly wrong for us. I can see it already. The moment they start to hold meetings about people who aren't allowed to be at the meetings, that's when you know it's time to start gathering your things.

[voice]

[monster_san]

Yes, I really hope they're being metaphorical about that key between our ears.

[voice]

[wizzardly]

- Oh gods, why would you even say something like that out loud?

[WELP it's always vaguely comforting to know what sorts of nightmares you'll be having before you go to bed.]

[voice]

[monster_san]

I like to consider all the possibilities. Well, maybe "like" isn't quite the word. But you know, the more you think of, the better prepared you are.

[voice]

[wizzardly]

I'd like to be able to prepare for a good night's sleep at least once in my life.

permatext

[deadtective]

Blah blah blah garbage we already knew, great. More importantly: whose ass am I kicking in that softball league?

permavid!

[helpline]

Dibs on being the bowler!

[ Doctor, that's cricket. ]

[deadtective]

They don't let the mentally ill on the field, grandpa.

[helpline]

Funny, they don't let biters on the field either. Something something bad sportsmanship something else.

[deadtective]

Shows what you know about softball. The more brutal you were the faster they'd bump you up to the top.

[text]; ID reads Kaito Kuroba

[tuxedo_magician]

Well, I'm certainly glad the fake color is being stricken from the record.

Totally didn't want to add it to my list.

video

[medalsome]

[Joaquin still isn't quite himself, still so quiet and kinda reserved (maybe even more-so since his therapy began) but he can't stay quiet about this.]

I have a request; if anyone sees Manolo going near any staircases and, apparently, any streets while not holding someone's hand... please stop him!

video

[matadorable]

Holding someone's hand? Really?

permavideo

[medalsome]

[He purses his lips and exhales very, very slowly out his nose.]

You nearly. Got hit. By a bus.

How. Did you not. See. The bus.

[matadorable]

There was a truck blocking my view. I'm still not used to the vehicles everywhere, and I just...[He makes a helpless gesture with his hands.] Look, I will be more careful next time, okay?

[driftsintobuffetline]

Don't be like Hermann. Do NOT baby your best friend, dude. Really... Not cool.

[medalsome]

He nearly got hit by a bus, Newt! In broad daylight! Because he wasn't watching where he was going!

If he's not going to be responsible for his own safety then someone needs to be!

[driftsintobuffetline]

For the love of-- Let the man do what he wants. You cannot monitor him 24/7, nor should you! Educate him, but do not treat him like a child if you respect him and want him to respect you in return!